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The infernal banging had no trouble breaking through my sleep. I wrapped thepillow around my head and that drowned out most of it, but as soon as I driftedoff to sleep again my grip loosened, and the pillow was pushed aside by the din."Fatherless son of a female trajg!" I snarled in Baldochi, struggling out of thecovers and to my feet. I didn't know what time it was, but as far as I'm concerned,a racket like that is a challenge day or night. I made it out of my bedroom anddown the ramp to the first floor, then headed for the front door.I caught a glimpse of myself as I passed the hall mirror, and would have turnedback if I hadn't been in such a foul humor. My hair, unfashionably long and unfashionably dark brown, was hanging every which way, including over my eyes.My yellow sleep suit was brief enough to earn me a ci­tation from any peacemanalive, and I wasn't even wearing any makeup. All in all a pretty outrageous sight,but I didn't give a damn. I'd needed the sleep I'd lost, and somebody was going topay for it.I was out into the sunshine before I realized it was there, and I had to squeeze myeyes nearly shut to keep from being blinded. The banging started again from myleft, and I knew I'd been right. Sandy Kemper was at it again, but this time hewasn't going to get away with it. Tinkering belongs in the privacy of yourworkshop, not in the public nervous system.With my eyes opened to mere slits, I stalked through the bright, windless sunshineacross the grass to the verge of 
Sandy's landing circle. Sandy was there, in a dark green one-
piece, leaning into the guts of his deep blue quadriwagon,
^and the banging was coming from the inside of the access
breach. I was vaguely, aware of someone or something
stretched out under a nearby tree, but I paid no attention.
Sandy was my target, and a very tempting target he made.I stopped about a foot away from him, dutifully restraining^ myself as I called outhis name, but the noise he was making drowned me out. I shrugged a little withwhat I knew was an evil grin, stepped a bit closer, then booted him in the behindwith my bare right footThe banging stopped with a muffled, "Hey!" then there was a hollow-soundingclank, followed by Sandy twisting himself out of the quadriwagon. Hestraightened up with one hand on his bead and a pained expression on his lace,but he went wide-eyed at the sight of me. 
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"Terry," he said weakly and for some reason nervously. "What are you doinghere?" "I heard your summons so I came right over," I answered, folding my arms. "Ormaybe I was mistaken and it was sup­posed to be a mating call. I've never heardthe mating call of a quadriwagon.""It won't envelop," he explained apologetically, gesturing vaguely toward the'wagon. "What good is a quadriwagon that won't envelop?""What good indeed," I agreed pleasantly. "All you can do with it then is takeground trips. Long, distant ground trips. Why the hell don't you try it!"He flinched a little at my almost-shrill roar, then pushed his palms placatingly atme. "Now, Terry, no need to lose your temper." I had no idea you were home yet,or I would have. ..." "Well, now you know!" I snapped. "It isn't bad enough that I had to spend fourmonths straightening out that mess in Dremmler's sector, just to get back in timefor the Nervous Nellies' Annual Hysterics and Fit-Throwing Convention. Oh, no!After fourteen solid hours of diplomatically assuring ev­ery neurotic xenophobeon the planet that we are not in im­minent danger of being invaded by the nearestalien barbarian horde, I really needed your symphonic, rendition of 'When WorldsCollide'! Sandy, you may be a colleague of sorts, but so help me if I hear evenone more tinkle out of 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 
you, I'll call the peacemen and activate an action against you for fire, flood,
pestilence and rape! Do you read me?"
"Loud and clear," he groaned, covering his eyes with one hand. "Very, very loud
and perfectly clear."
"You'd better," I told him fatly. "Your XD-5 rating will be as worthless as that
quadriwagon if / press charges. Just remember that."
I gave his tall, thin form a last glare, turned to go back to my house, and promptly
bounced off a brick wall instead. I "oofed" and went down, my hair obligingly
covering my en­tire face.
"Terry, are you all right?" Sandy asked anxiously as I pawed the hair out of my
eyes. He reached down fast to help me to my feet, but I ignored his outstretched
hands in favor of the brick wall Pd collided with. 

The man who stbod there looked ten feet tall from where I sat hi the grass. He also
seemed about six feet wide, and ev-• ery inch of his deeply tanned body was hard-
muscled and trim. He had brilliant, light blue eyes, a mane of thick, light blond,
hair, and a grin pasted on his broad, rugged face. He stood easily relaxed with his
brawny arms folded across his enormous chest, and all he wore was a pair of brief,
dark gray swim trunks. I frowned as I looked at him, seeing some­thing very out­
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of-place about him, there in the suburbs ,of Tallion City. For some reason, he did
not belong."Here, let me help you up." Sandy fidgeted next to me, but Fd already decided totry out a theory that had just to me. I raised my knees a little and leaned on themwith my forearms, then smiled sweetly at Sandy."I think I'll add assault to that list of charges," I told him, and watched his face gopasty yellow. "Who's your co-assailant?""Terry, please be reasonable," Sandy begged, beads of sweat forming on hisforehead. "This is just a friend of mine from Ashton who's visiting me for a weekor two. You don't really want to make trouble for him, do you?"
"Why not? I asked mildly. "What's his name?""It's—ah—Fred. Fred O'Herlihy," Sandy stuttered. "Fred O'Herlihy fromOverton." "I thought he was from Ashton," I commented, staring at a Sandy who lookedlike he was about to faint. "That's right, that's right, Ashton. Hie moved from Overton to Ashton." 
sharon green 
"Or vice versa," I said disgustedly and got to my feet unaided. "Sandy, who doyou think you're kidding? That story wouldn't have got past a retarded seven-year­old, let alone a Prime XenoMediator, Come on, now, give. Who is he -and what'she doing here?""I can't tell you," Sandy said in agony, just about wringing his hands. "Terry,please. Just go back to your house and for­get all about this. You have my wordthat I won't make an­other sound.'* "1'H bet you won't," I drawled, staring at "Fred O'Herlihy." Good old Fred stilllooked ten feet tall, but his grin had widened. "Sandy, I have a hunch thatMurdock McKenzie has another lark going. How's my hunch quo­tient?""As high as ever," Sandy acknowledged miserably, his shoulders sagging, 'I'msorry, Terry, but I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to come into my house. Murdockwill want to know about this." "Not as much as Jack will want to." I grinned. "I can't wait to see the fur flyingbetween those two again. This time Murdock will lose Ms ears. Let's see whosecall gets through first."I started back toward my house again, gleefully eager to pass on the word, andhalf-heard Sandy say something like, Tammad!" It meant absolutely nothing tome, so I ignored it, but three steps later I got a very strong hint about what itmight mean. A giant hand covered half my upper arm, and I was pulled definitelyand firmly to a halt,"Let go of my arm, Fred," I said in exasperation to the still grinning giant. "I have 
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a top-priority call waiting to be made, and you're wasting my tune."
"Terry, you must understand," Sandy said pitiabjx,as he came up. "Murdock is
depending on me and rcan't let him down. You can can Jack after Murdock
speaks to him, but you can't call Jack first"
"Oh, can't I?" I asked, tapping a bare foot in the grass, 'la case you didnt know,
Sandy, harboring an unregistered alien, Is against the law on this planet For a
member of the Xeno-Diplomacy Bureau to do it—on orders, yet!—is even worse,
but the real kicker is the nature of the alien in question. I 4aje you to deny that
whatever planet he comes from, he's of the warrior-equivalent caste. Go ahead,
deny it!"

Sandy's long jaw dropped, and the look in his eyes was al-
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 9 
most wild. "How can you possibly know all these things?" he demanded in nearhysteria. "I can almost believe some of the rumors that are whispered about PrimeXenoMediators. Terry, are you a telepath, too?""Don't be ridiculous" I snorted. "It isn't telepathy when you use your eyes andhead. Sandy, you're already in over your ears. Do yourself a favor and tell him tolet me go.""I can't," he agonized. "I must call Murdock. Tammad, bring her along to thehouse, please."Sandy hurried on ahead, and his pal Tammad followed lei­surely after him. SinceI was still firmly attached to the giant's hand, I ended up going in that direction,too. The lawn stretched out quiet and green from house to house as far as I couldsee, but there wasn't a single person in view on it anywhere. That lack made medecide on a course of action I normally would never even have considered."Peacemen!" I shouted at the Neighborhood ia general, trying to be loud enoughto be heard. "Somebody call a— mmf!" My yell cut off when the giant's hand slid firmly across my mouth and stayedthere. I struggled against him, trying to pull Ms hand away with both of mine, butit was a waste of time. I'm slightly above average in height, but my head didn'teven reach his chin. With his right hand over my mouth, he reached his left armaround my waist and lifted me off the ground, then continued on toward Sandy'shouse. The trip ended in Sandy's inner study. The room was as flat and unimaginative asSandy himself, done in various shades of brown and tan. It had a long, widecouch of dark brown leather against the back wall, four lighter brown leatherchairs scattered here and there across the tan carpet­ing, a very neat and totallyoutdated light brown rembowood desk and chair on the wall to the left of thedoor, and matching floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on the wall to the right of the 
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door. Brown and tan woodland scenes set in limited-frame movement squares
hung on the walls above the couch and desk, but none of that was of any help to
me. I'd been beating my heels against Tammad's right leg, hoping to make him
shift his grip and thereby give me a chance to break loose, but I'd had no luck.
Tammad ignored the kicks as if they were happening to somebody else, carried
me down the hall and into the study, finally dumping me on the room's wide
couch. I landed on my hands and knees on the soft 

season green 
leather pillows, and took a minute to flex my jaw before sit­ting straight Tammadwas in an easy crouch not three feet away from me, his arms resting on his broadthighs, the same idiotic grin on his face,"The next time you try that you'll lose a finger," I snarled, pushing my hair backout of my eyes. "And what the hell are you staring at?""You," he answered in a deep, strong, voice that matched the rest of him. "Thethought has come that should you brush. your hair, you would not beunattractive." "You can't afford to talk," I countered, pulling my hand away from my hair."Your hair looks like it was hacked off with a knife. And unless I'm mistaken, that's a nice, thick Rimilian accent you've got there. What are you doing so'faffrom home?" "Green eyes," he mused, ignoring my question as he looked me over in a way I'dnever experienced before. "Such eyes are highly prized on my world. Most haveeyes like mine, blue as the skies when no storms blow, but some very few haveeyes green as the seas. I am pleased to see a woman with green eyes."That insolent grin was getting me angrier and angrier, and his attitude wasn'tdoing much to help matters, so I decided to see how easily he might be reached,"L'lenda banarad," I told him distinctly and watched as his blue eyes hardenedwife anger, then immediately changed back with his laughter.
"You place me well." He grinned In amusement. "I am indeed l'lenda—a warrior. But it is not wise to order a war­rior not to overstep himself unless you carrysword in hand. I do not believe you could easily lift a sword.""I'm stronger than I look," I said, eyeing the still open door. The inner studydidn't have a window, but it did have that nice, opea door. "Now why, I wonder,would Murdock McKenzie be hiding a Rimilian barbarian here?" I mused, shifting slightly to get my legs out from under me. "Because he plans on doingsomething with you? But why, then, doesn't he do it? Possibly because the timeisn't right Does he have to wait for something? Do you know what Murdock is waiting for, l'lenda? Or is he just using you, as a poor, helpless pawn? Poor barbarian, being used by others." 
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"No man uses me!" the barbarian growlee, rising again to his full height. He wasangry, and that's what I'd been trying 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 11 
for. I quickly flipped a couch pillow at his face and dived for the doorway, but asfast as I'd moved, he moved even faster. His hand went up, knocking the pillowaside, and he caught me with his other arm before I'd taken two full steps. Hecasually tossed me back onto the couch, and stood studying me,"Neither am I to be used by a woman," he told me, and then the grin was backstronger than ever. "Now do I see why the Sandy Kemper regarded your presenceas he did. He is not man enough to hold you in place.""And you are?" I asked, my hands curled into fists as I fought to keep my temper.I had to get out of there!"I am what I am," he answered, still amused. "Deeds may speak where wordsstand mute." "That has all the earmarks of an ancient adage," I said in disgust, putting my armup on the back of the couch. "How long are you going to keep me here?""Only until the Sandy Kemper has spoken with the Mur-dock McKenzie." Hegrinned, folding his arms as he looked me over hi that exasperating way again."The Sandy Kemper has then given you leave to go. I will not be pleased to seeyou go.""You won't be pleased to see me come back, either!" I snapped. "When my bosshears about this, he'll have all of you locked up for kidnapping! I can't wait to seethe peace-men take you away hi force binders!""Perhaps such will occur," he agreed with a sober nod. "I, too, am a man of peace.Should your men of peace be greater warriors than I, then I will surely be taken."I tucked my legs under me and turned away from him, de­termined not to wastemy breath any further. Peripherally, 1 saw him fold into that easy crouch again,showing all the pa­tience of a big cat on the hunt.About fifteen minutes later, Sandy appeared in the door­way. He was still drawnand nervous looking, and he glanced uneasily at Tammad, tlien turned worried eyes to me.'Terry, Pm afraid I have bad news," he apologized hur­riedly. "Murdock asks thatyou stay here until he arrives to settle the matter. Unfortunately, he'll be tied upfor some time yet, but will come as soon as possible. I'm sure that if you'll just bepatient. . ..""About thirty years, I'd say, Sandy," I interrupted thought­fully. "That's how longyou can expect to be in compulsive 
sharon green 
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rehabilitation for kidnapping a PXM. What would you like me to bring you on thedays they allow you to be free of pain?"Sandy swallowed hard and began trembling slightly, but he was made of sternerstuff than I'd thought "I'm sorry, Terry, I truly am," he said miserably. "I shouldstay, but I must have that "wagon repaired. I can have it done and be back beforeMurdock arrives if I go right now. Since I wont be here, I give you into Tammad'scare. Hell see to your seeds."He closed the door fast, to keep from hearing the next thing 1 had to say, Isuppose, but I wasn't saying anything. I stared at the door with my mouth andeyes wide open, then moved my head a little to look at Tammad. The barbarianwarrior was laughing softly and slowly rising up out of the crouch,"What you're thinking isnt true!" I said quickly, feeling my heart starting topound. "He didn't give me to you be­cause he can't, Tm not his to give.""You know our language and our customs," he observed, coming toward me."Also you must know that a host does not give what belongs to another. Do youbelong to another?""Women on this world are free to belong to themselves," I said desperately, tryingto edge away from him. "You cant just...""Generous indeed is the host of my Journey." He grinned, grabbing my ankle topull me back. "No man of my world would be foolish enough to give a womanwith green eyes as house-gift I shall have to gift him well in return."His hand left my ankle as he lay down on the couch next to me and pulled me toMm. I was close enough to see the tanned skin beneath the thick blond hair on hischest, close enough to smell the strange, musky odor of him. His hands werewarm against my suddenly clammy skin, and I didn't want to believe that this wasreally happening."Tamrnad, you must believe me," I yelled, struggling against those impossiblearms. "I dont belong to Sandy Kem-per!""That is quite true." He nodded, slowly moving his hands over me. "You nowbelong to me. Remove these coverings."I swallowed hard looking at him, but swallowing didn't al­ter the situation. Hewas exploring me with his bands as he pressed me up against the couch back, butmy sleep suit, 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 13 
brief as it was, was interfering. Now he wanted it off and had said so.
"I don't belong to you, either," I announced as firmly as I could. "And my clothes
will stay on!"
He smiled slightly and pulled twice, and my baiter and mini bottom were gone so 

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fast that the discs barely^ had time to release. I grabbed at the suit, trying to get itback, but he just tossed it to the floor behind him and went on with hisex­ploration.I'd be lying if I said I felt nothing from his touch, but 1 was much too nervous toreally enjoy it I was hardly inex-perienced where men were concerned, but he wasso damned bigl And I didn't have any choice, either. When I continued to struggleagainst his efforts, he pinned my wrists with one giant paw, then ignored me.When it was all over, I lay curled up on the couch, trying not to groan. I'd beenright in worrying about his size, and he was in no danger of being described as a"gentle lover." I was sore all over, from his fingers and teeth as much as any­thingelse, and I felt totally spent The barbarian had left the couch when he was throughwith me, and his sense of satis­faction was almost tangible."You straggle well," he grinned from the center of the room as he put his swimtrunks back on. "It was long since I last had the use of a woman. I shall use youoften." "Over my dead body," I got out, not trying to be funny. If he ever touched meagain, it would probably kill me."You seem disturbed," he mused, studying me with a curi­ous expression. "Wasthe struggle not enjoyable to you as well?"Talk about your barefaced gall! "How the hell could it be?" I snarled in outrage."Do you think I enjoy being raped?""But you were not virgin," he protested mildly, as if that were the only excuse hecould accept as reasonable. "Is it not a woman's purpose to be used by men?"Talking to a barbarian like him was absolutely impossible and a total waste oftune, but getting mad was even more useless. He was much too ignorant tounderstand even basic explanations, but I felt a need to say something."Some women have other purposes," I told him, forcing myself to sit up in spite ofthe aches. "I am a Prime Xeno-Mediator, the very best of the best I was trained for years to 
sharon green 
function at the highest levels, not to be used beneath a hulk­ing barbarian. Do youmind if I get my clothes back now?""Your coverings must be replaced," he answered, watching me retrieve my sleepsuit. "The others may arrive soon, and it is not fitting to show a man that whichcannot be his. I shall not be so foolish as to gift you to another."I resisted the urge to close my eyes in frustration as I climbed into my things."You'd better get it through your head that I don't belong to you," I said, afterresetting the discs of my sleep suit. "Murdock will have enough to answer forwithout adding slavery to the list." 
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"Murdock usually has all the answers he needs," a voice gasped from the suddenlyopen door. I turned my head to see Murdock himself standing there, with Sandyhovering ner­vously behind him. Murdock got his twisted body moving again,dragged himself over to a chair and sat, leaning heav­ily on his cane."This tune you're going to be a few short," I snapped, not waiting until he hadhimself settled. "Harboring a dangerous alien, kidnap, assault—oh, Jack wfll justlove this!" "Alas, my dear Terrillian, Jackson Randall did not love it," Murdock commented, moving his eyes to me. "Hell be join­ing us shortly, so you will see for yourself.Just now I'm more concerned with the vexations you've caused me. When are youever going to leant to mind your own infernal 
"As a PXM it is my business," I countered, putting my fists on my hips. "Do youthink I'm aching to mediate a riot between all of Central and its ownXenoDiplomacy Bureau? Considering the XD personnel involved, I'd findimpartiality rather hard to come by.""Fve often wondered about your Impartiality," he came back dryly, leaning slowlyback hi the chair. "Nevertheless, this is a Diplomacy matter, and has nothing to dowith Medi­ation. How in the name of problematical inquiry did you stumble on ftto begin with?"With Sandy involved, it wasn't very difficult," I answered, glancing at mylovable neighbor where he perched nervously on the edge of the rembowood desk."Only he would leave an illegal alien lying about while he was hand-destroyinghis quadriwagon—-and then tell me his name was Fred O'Herlihy."
Murdock glanced sadly at a totally defeated Sandy, then 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 15 
shook his head. "Sandros, Sandros, I despair of you," he sighed. "How are you tomake your way in the world of di­plomacy when even the most childishly simpledissembling is beyond you? You and I will have to talk."Sandy just nodded miserably, so I took the opportunity to iask, "What specificevent are you waiting for, Murdock? Why can't you complete your plans withyour little friend now? And how long a wait are you going to be forced toendure?" Murdochs expression went totally blank, and I had to ad­mire his ability in spiteof his poisonous personality. His nar­row, sunken face gave no informationwhatsoever, and his faded grey eyes were as innocent as bis unaccented greyhair, "You seem to have picked up rather more than Sandros believed, Terrillian," hemurmured, his attention squarely on me again. "Have you been plying Tammad 
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with your all too obvious attributes? I warn you now that that is not the safest ofendeavors." "How sweet of you to warn me, Murdock," I answered with barely a quiver. "Inturn let me inform you that active hostility does little to protect, either. When thehell are you going to learn how to teach your people about extra-planer tarycustoms?" The sharpness in my tone reached him immediately. "Why?" he asked. "Whathappened?""Sandy happened!" I snapped, running a hand thrpugh the jtangle of my hair. "Hevery kindly gave me as a house-gift to his guest—who didn't hesitate to make useof the gift,""What's a house-gift?" Sandy asked faintly, his face paling again as he stoodstraight from the desk, "How could I have... .""Sandros," Murdock interrupted quietly. "A house-gift on Rimilia is a gift givenby a host to his guest, thanking him for th« honor of his presence. It can be anarticle of clothing, of furniture, a decoration—or a woman. In any event, the gift,once given, is the property of the guest. Correct, Tammad?""Completely correct," Tammad answered, almost smugly. He was standing atease with his arms folded, and he grinned at me. "I thank my host for the gift of agreen-eyed woman. I shall gift him well in return.""But—but—I knew nothing about this!" Sandy stuttered, ­staring at Tammad in horror. "All those sheets of informa­tion—I barely had time to skim. them. the and my *wagon needing fixing . . . ." He trailed off on his 
16 own, stared at me ,guiltily, then turned abruptly and left the 
Murdock watched him go, then tactfully cleared his throat. "Choosing Sandroswas obviously a mistake, Terrillian. You have his apologies."~/^Fat lot of good they'll do me now," I snorted, pleased that Murdock seemed tobe uncomfortable. It was a reaction I hadn't expected, and it might turn out to beuseful. "Why all the secrecy, Murdock? I'd like the answer to that, at least""And so would I," said a voice I knew very well. I turned my head and saw Jackstanding in the doorway, leaning casu­ally against the door jamb. The sight of hissix-foot-two, dark-haired good looks let me know immediately that I was nolonger alone."I believe the Bureaus Chairman had a word with you, Jackson," Murdock saidsmoothly,, the discomfort suddenly and completely gone. "What did he have tosay?" 
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"You know very well what he said," Jack returned angrily, coming away from thedoor. "He told me that this was your show, and Mediation was requested tocooperate with you. Cooperate, hell! Take orders, he meant.""I'm pleased to see that you understand the true situation." Murdock smiled withbarely veiled spitefulness. "Your Bu­reau is indeed subject to my orders, and Ibelieve I've just solved my largest problem. If you will make yourselvescom­fortable, 111 tell you a story.""I'lI listen to it from right here," Jack said from the middle of the room. "PossiblyI'll soon have something to speak to the Bureaus Chairman about, myself.""As you wish," Murdock conceded, then waited until I'd stretched out on thecouch again. There was no telling how long it would take, and my lack of sleephad long since caught up with me. Not to mention other things."On a certain day, beneath a certain sun," Murdock began, as if he were telling astory to children, "it was discovered that a once unimportant planet was no longerunimportant. The people of the planet, backward, primitive people, had noawareness of this importance, but those about them had no doubts. The planet wasrich in not one, but many of the ores that are sought by the peoples of the CentralAmalgamation. They had furs'and silks lovely enough to adorn the highest of thehigh. They had herbs that, once properly.processed,, could 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 17 
cure the ills of untold numbers of people. All these they had, but there was yeta greater importance."The planet lies, in its starry setting, in a. most unique posi­tion. The stars andclusters of the Amalgamation are almost all the same travel time away from it. Nobeing would find it necessary to travel twice the time of another to attend acon­ference there. It owed allegiance to none of the members of theAmalgamation, as its volume of space had been claimed by none. It was a neutralmeeting place without equal."Jack was still standing in the middle of the floor, his arms crossed in annoyance,resentment strong in his expression. He hadn't even glanced at Tammad, who wasagain folded into his easy cat-crouch."The leaders of the Central Amalgamation," Murdock con­tinued, his eyesimperturbable, "wanted very much to build a complex on this unique planet thatwould house representa­tives of all of its members, but, to then" dismay, foundthat they could not. The people of the planet allowed but a single embassy, andthat only because they desired certain off-plan­et articles of manufacture. Theyrefused to join the Amalga­mation, and they refused to allow mining, exporting, or building."Military advisers to these leaders suggested that the bar­barians' wishes be 
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ignored, that the complex be built anyway, and troops be used to protect it.Political advisers agreed that the barbarians should be ignored, but suggested thatthe com­plex be built in some inaccessible spot that would keep them awaywithout the need for troops. These two factioas argued bitterly until diplomacyadvisers informed them that neither suggestion could be followed."The men of diplomacy pointed out to the leaders that Amalgamation Covenantsprohibited the use of planetary ter­ritory without the explicit consent of theplanet's leaders. Al­though this supposedly applied only to member planets of theAmalgamation, it would not be wise to ignore it. A large number of the memberplanets were of such a turn of mind that they would wonder if the Covenantswould some day be ignored if their planet was discovered to hold a unique prize.Forceful acquisition of a site for the complex could well result in a dissolution ofthe Amalgamation. s 
"The Central leaders were at a loss. What, then, could theydo their complex? They finally decided to sendcertain of me men of diplomacy to make their way among 
sharon green 
the barbarians, to see if they could find a ray of hope. The chosen men went forthas directed, and found more than they had expected to—not all of the barbarianswere opposed to Amalgamation membership. A large number of them were for it,but the leaders of the majority were opposed, so the rest followed."The men of diplomacy looked about themselves, and dis­covered a leader whodesired'for his people all that a profitable trade membership could provide forthem. He was, however, a minority leader, and could not persuade the otherleaders to agree with him. The leader spoke with the men of diplomacy, and askedif they could provide skilled assistance for the Great Meeting that took placeyearly. The leader was a man of deeds, not words, but only words could be used atthe Great Meeting. His followers were not many enough to force agreement fromthe rest. "The men of diplomacy agreed to aid the leader, and secretly brought him backwith them to Central. It was thought best that no one know of his mission, so noone was informed of his presence. When the proper moment comes, he will bereturned to his people so that he may lead things on to their fullest destiny."Murdock's voice had almost put me to sleep where I lay on the soft leather couch,but a dreamy understanding had some­how reached me. He hadn't told his storylike a child's fairy tale just to be irritating. He'd told it that way so that Tarn-madwould understand everything he said. If Murdock had used Bureau jargon, whichhe would normally have done with Jack and me, Tammad would have been leftmiles be­hind. 
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"Is that all of it?" Jack asked Murdock from where he still stood, his belligerencestill obvious. "You're harboring an un­registered alien for the sake of the entireAmalgamation? Nothing more important than that?""Spare me, Jackson." Murdock grimaced, shifting slightly in the chair. "Sarcasmsuits you not at all. Our efforts are indeed on behalf of the Amalgamation, whetheryou choose to believe it or not. Tammad needs someone to read his op­ponents forhim, to dig out their weaknesses and insecurities, to develop telling counterstrokesto their arguments—and* to find a point of compromise which they will accept.I've been searching my entire Bureau, but haven't found anyone suitable for theposition—until now." 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 19 
"So the masquerade will soon be over," lack said with a slow nod. "I assume youwant our word that we won't men­tion what's been happening. I'm willing toagree—for certain considerations."
^Always the negotiator," Murdock snorted, looking at Jack with contempt. "If* apity you haven't the intelligence to un­derstand that you have nothing to negotiatewith. You'll keep - silent on the matter because you are ordered to do so, and youwill cooperate with the needs of my Bureau."
"What needs?" Jack choked out, white-faced with .fury at Murdock's words."What could our miserable, insignificant Bureau give you that you couldpossibly have a use for?""That, too, should be obvious," Murdock said, his tone go­ing flat. "I told you thesort of person Tammad needs. Don't you think the description fits aXenoMediator?" A light of understanding filled Jack's eyes, and the fury evaporated as a grimpleasure replaced it"Possibly," Jack agreed without letting the pleasure show In his voice. "It's ashame all of my Mediators are already committed elsewhere. Too bad, Murdock,but we carry heavy schedules,"'Tm sure the disappointment is shattering for you," Mur­dock returned, thedryness in his voice more pronounced than usual. "However, you do have oneMediator available, and I am requesting a priority assignment The Bureau'sChairman will join me in my request, as this matter is serious enough to merit theattention of a Prime." Murdock was looking at me possessively, so I stretched and gave him a lazylaugh. "It really is a shame, Murdock, but I'm not available either. I'm on a class-one vacation leave, and can't be reassigned unless I allow it I don't allow it.""She earned the class-one during her last assignment," Jack put in, looking at mefondly. "The Bureaus Chairman himself insisted that she have it, so don't expect 
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any support from him. As I said, Murdock—a shame."
"I agree," Murdock said with a wintry smile. "But not for the same reasons.
Tamilian will be taking the assignment in spite of any views the Bureaus
Chairman has to the contrary. Rathmore will insist"
Jack looked startled, and I wasnt feeling sleepy any long­
er. Rathmore Hellman was the supreme leader of Centran in
everything but name. His political power was such that no
one dared oppose him on governmental matters of any sort. 

20 sharon green 

Murdock had the most powerful ally he could wish for. Jack ran his hand through
his hair and avoided my eyes, and that annoyed me.
"Will Rathmore publicly rescind my class-one?" 1 de­manded of Murdock as I sat
up on the couch. "If he does, hell have to admit complicity in this thing. If he
doesnt, I still refuse to allow it." 
"My dear Terrillian—" Murdock chuckled, some slight hu­mor creasing his
narrow face— "you bolster my faith in my judgment. You realize immediately
that Rathmore's support is unnecessary to you as a Prime, so you feel free to
oppose him. You have no unskilled career position that may be taken from you, as
it may be taken from others, so you consider yourself safe." His eyes flicked to an
expressionless Jack, then returned to me. "However, you too are vulnerable to
persua­sion."

* "In what way?" I asked. "Primes are too hard to come by for Rathmore to befoolish enough to fire me. Hell still use my skill no matter how annoyed he gets atme." "Assuming you are available, yes." Murdock nodded, "In that you are quitecorrect. But should you no longer be avail­able, Rathmore will not mourn yourloss." "And how am I to be made unavailable?" I asked in amusement. "Rathmore detests waste, and will never stand for my being put out of the way—in anymanner." "There is one way in which it may be accomplished," Mur­dock answeredcomfortably. "Rathmore is more than anxious to establish relations with Rimilia.A small gesture would be completely supported by him.""What sort of gesture?" I asked with suspicion. It seemed to me that Murdocklooked much too comfortable. Murdock smiled slightly and turned his attention to Tarn-mad. "You've beengiven a lovely house-gift, my friend. Is it your intention to take your gift homewith you?""Of course." Tammad grinned. "A man would be foojisa indeed were he to leave 
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behind nun so lovely a gift. And one so little used."They both turned to look at me, and I began feeling pale. "Don't be ridiculous!" Isaid shakily to Murdock. "All I have to do is refuse to go with him. The portauthorities would never allow him to...." "Which port aufh.ojjjties?'' Murdock interrupted, his voice soft "He wasn't seenwhen he arrived, and he won't be seen 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 21 
when he leaves. K there are two of you not to be seen, It won't be immeasurablymore'difficult" "But you can't do that!" I protested, staring at a grinning Tammad. "Murdock,that's slavery!""Not at all," Murdock corrected, his face completely sober now. "It is merelypolitical Expedience. The altar of expedi­ence lias seen many such sacrifices in itstime. Have you any­thing else to say?"I looked down at the floor, unwilling to admit he had me in a trap. The thoughtcrossed my mind that I could pretend to agree and then go to the peacemen assoon as I'was re-^ased, but it was only wishful thinking. If I deliberately broughtthe matter to light, Rathmore would wait until the furor died down, then wouldpersonally see to my delivery to i'Jmilia. Rathmore had more patience than most,but he jever forgot a disservice, and repaid it in the exact measure of his owndisaccommodation. I glanced over at Jack, but he still stood stonily silent. His entire career had beenthreatened, and I knew he'd never Jeopardize his career just to help me. His careermeant every­thing to him, much more than a Prime he had occasionally slept with.Murdock sat quietly in his chair, his eyes fixed on my face. He was waitingpatiently for an answer because he knew what that answer had to be."And how do I get back here once it's all over?" I asked with barely suppressedfury. "That—that—friend of yours will still have me!"Murdock took my question for the acknowledgment of de­feat that it was, andturned back to Tammad. "Tammad, I'm sure you realize that Terrillian is the one I mean to send to youraid," he said in that uncomplicated 'but not condescending manner he seemed toprefer when speak­ing to the barbarian. "She is most skilled hi her profession, andcannot be bettered even though she is a woman. Are you willing to accept herhelp, listen to her suggestions, give her the knowledge that will enable her to assistyou to victory?"Tammad rose to his feet and grinned slightly at Murdock. "I have known for somemoments that that was the thought of the Murdock McKenzie," he answered. "Ihaw myself seen something of the ability of this woman, and am not reluctant to 
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accept her aid. When the «s done, she will be 
sharon green 
returned to your embassy on Rimilia. For this you have my word.""Does that satisfy you?" Murdock asked, twisting around to look at me. "Youought to know that the word of a Rimil-ian is not easily given.""I do know it," I answered, and stood up from the couch, "I suppose it will have todo. Right now I'm going home and to bed,"I started across the room, but Murdock wasn't through with me. "One other thing,"he called, and I stopped near Jack to look back at him. "It will be some days yetbefore your transportation to Rimilia will be available. As you so kindly pointedout, Sandros is not the one to be host to Tam­mad. He will stay with you untildeparture time.""Haven't you done enough to her?" Jack demanded from next to me as I simplystared at Murdock. "Asking her to house that barbarian is unreasonable. If he can'tstay with Sandy, take him home yourself.""Considering that I Uve at State House, that would be most unwieldly," Murdockanswered pleasantly. "Tammad will stay with Terrillian."Jack frowned at that, then turned to me. "Terry, don't let this bother you yet," hesaid with some small part of his old confidence. "I still have a few contacts, andI'll see what I can do." Then he lifted his right hand and put it around the back ofmy neck. "Meanwhile, how about taking hi a real with me tonight? You've beengone a long time and I missed you."I opened my mouth to answer him, but didn't get the chance. Tammad wassuddenly there behind me, his left hand gripping Jack's right wrist and lifting itfrom my neck."It is not fitting for a man to touch unbidden the belong­ings of another," he toldJack evenly in that deep voice of his. "I will now have your apology.""Belongings?" Jack echoed in confusion whfle trying to get his wrist loose. "Whatbelongings? What are you talking about?""I do not belong to yon," 1 hissed at the great hulking beast, but he paid noattention to me. "The green-eyed woman was my house-gift," he explained in the mildest of tones,watching as Jack struggled uselesslyagainst his grip. "She will belong to me until her mission is 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 23 done and she is returned to your embassy. I will have your apology for touching 
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that which belongs to me."
Jack stared at him in disbelief, his face pale, beads of sweat on his forehead. He
also had to look up, which couldn't have beea a very familiar experience for him.
Fi­nally, his eyes dropped and he cleared his throat

"I apologize," he muttered tonelessly. "I didn't know."Tammad immediately released his wrist, and I looked at Jackson Randall withdisgust. "You make me sick!" I snapped, but he just turned away, rubbing at hisnow free wrist I moved past him without another word, went through the doorwayto Sandy's central hall, flung the front door open, then headed home.What was left of the beautiful day didn't reach me at all, and I was almost to myown front door when I realized that Tammad was right behind me. I could feel mylips draw into a thin, hard line, but I controlled my temper and simply ig­noredhim. I swung through the door without caring who it hit on the way back, andwent directly up the ramp to my bedroom and on through to my bathroom,slamming that door closed behind me. When the lock was firmly in place, I dialeda nice, hot bath, then got out a towel and a clean sleep suit.The bath began relaxing me as soon as I was in it I leaned back on the tub'sheadrest and closed my eyes, letting my hair be gently washed and dried. Fdlooked at myself before getting in the tub, and the bruises weren't as bad as I'dthought they'd be—but they were still there.Among all the men I knew, there had never been one like the barbarian. So, self-assured, so easygoing, so—confident! As if everything within his reach could behis if he decided to take it. And he'd decided to take me! I had to force myself to relax again, force myself to open my clenched fists. I washelpless to do anything about it, helpless to avoid it. Fd thought that JacksonRandall might have been able to stand up to him, but Jack had been as use­less asSandy had been damaging. How could a man stand to be shamed like that? I'dalways thought that it was part of a man to defend his pride as well as his life, butone look from Tammad and Jack had folded like a quadriwagon partition. Iwondered if the action would haunt him, or if he would put it out of his mind as ifit had never happened. I splashed 
24 sharon green * 
some water over my shoulders and thought about it for & minute, then decided 
that it would be both. And Murdock McKenzie! The man was a fiend of the ne­ther regions, just as Tdalways known, He'd trapped me into "doing what those of bis own Bureau weren'table to do, and he didn't care what I had to go through as long as the job Wasdone. He didn't care that that barbarian would hold me down and use me until he was satisfied, bruise me with fin­gers of steel, bite me like the animal he was! If 
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Murdock McKenzie could experience that, just once, then / would be satisfied.I promised myself the pleasure of revenge on Murdock McKenzie, and thathelped to slow my breathing a little. I was still too upset to really relax as I shouldhave, so I thumbed the switch that transparented the wall in front of toe, andlooked out at a darkening sky. The pink and purple streaks of the sky told me thatit would soon be night, soon be time for people to go to their variously earnedrest. I watched the trees wave gently against the pink and purple, rememberingthat I was still at least one night's rest short The warmth of the bath water reachedthrough to my muscles; the peace of the sky reached through to my mind; I lostmyself in thoughts of elsewhen.I jerked awake and just caught myself from sliding under the water. I climbedwearily from the tab, feeling the inner strands of my once-dry hair clinging to thewetness of my back, then toweled myself off well enough to be able to put on thesleep suit Body lotions and powders would have to wait for my next bath. Iplodded past the view of an all-dark sky, fumbled through the door into mybedroom, found my bed with half-shut eyes, then slid beneath inviting covers. Myeyes closed the rest of the way, but I was already asleep. 
I woke from the strange dream, still faintly annoyed. I'd been called in to mediate
a disagreement between Murdock McKenzie and a giant, and I'd been determined
to do the best I could. I'd felt the hostility between them as soon as I sat at the
table, and I'd begun speaking soothingly, projecting peace and harmony.
Suddenly, the hostility had disappeared as if it had never been, and Murdock and
the giant were grinning at each other in a brotherly way, ignoring me com­pletely.
Feeling slightly put out that I'd wasted my time, I'd tried to leave, but the two of
them turned quickly and grabbed my arms, forcing me back down in my seat.
They turned away from me again and began talking, ignoring me as long as I
stayed where I was. Then my annoyance had started to build....
The dream was stupid and meaningless, and it made me mad. I would not have
mediated a dispute that Murdock McKenzie was involved in for anything
imaginable. In the hopes that he would be destroyed in the resulting war, I would
lift not a single finger to help. Pleased with the idea of Murdock McKenzie
destroyed, I turned away from the cobalt blue, flounced lace of my bedroom wall
dress—directly into Tammad! ,
"What are you doing in my bed?" I demanded furiously as his arms started to go
around me. "Get out of here this minute!" 
"The bed is of my belonging," Be answered, grinning Jointly at my useless
pushing against his chest. "What belongs 
25 
* 1 
sharon green 
to what belongs to me is also of my belonging. Have you bad your rest?""Get out of here!" I repeated desperately, suddenly realiz­ing that I was no longerwearing the sleep suit, and his swim trunks were gone, too...."Your hair is long and fine," he mused, stroking- it where it lay down my back."The other women of your world that I have seen have not such hair. They wear itshort so that a man would have difficulty enjoying it I am pleased that you are notone such." "I didn't do it for you," I told him, trying to slide downand out of his grasp. "Most of the beings I deal with preferlong hair on a female. It makes my job easier." , "And your long legs and full breasts and small waist?" he pursued, grabbing ahandful of my hair to keep me from slid­ing down any farther. "Do these, too,make your burdens fighter?""At one point, the answer to that would have been yes!" I snarled, doing my bestto resist the slow but determined tug on my hair that was pulling me back up tohim. "I have a lot of things to see to before I can leave with you, so you'd bet­terlet me go. If I don't see to them, I won't be able to leave on time!""All things are done when they are destined to be done," he murmured, starting tonuzzle me. "A woman must always see first to him to whom she belongs. It is herplace to do so.""My place is out of this bed!" I insisted, using every ounce of strength trying toget away from him, but his arms seemed to be muscled with steel. He had notrouble holding me where he wanted me, just grinned as he put his hand on me,then laughed at my gasp."Your body desires the presence of mine," he teased, prov­ing the point easily."Your body speaks more truly than your words. It is often thus with a woman, anda man must'learn to see beneath the words." This time I tried desperately to move his hand away, but he pinned my wristsabove my head as he'd done the day be­fore, then proceeded to drive me insanewith his fingers. I moaned and squirmed in spite of myself, hating myself forreacting to him, cursing my body for betraying me. No mat­ter what / wanted, myidiot body was obviously aching for his touch. I'd never been that way with a manbefore, and it 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 27 
made no sense! Didn't my body know that a civilized man was preferable to abarbarian? That a civilized man would never rape it, never take from it what hewanted? A civilized man would wait to be given, and never simply take! 
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Tammad the barbarian did not wait to be given. By the time he took me, I would
have gladly given him anything, but it wasn't in his nature to allow that He took
me with strength and sureness, aware that he possessed what was rightfully his. I
raged at that thought as my body eagerly ac­cepted his, and then I was drowned
beneath a tide of maleness the likes of which I'd known only once before. I floated
on the tide an unbelievably long time, but when it rolled out again, I lay panting
and abandoned, the sheets rumpled under me, sweat soaking my body. Tammad
stretched out beside me, completely satisfied, completely relaxed, and lazily toyed
with my hair.
When I'd regained some of my strength, I looked over at him bitterly. He'd gotten
what he wanted, and what I wanted simply didn't matter. He grinned and tugged at
my hair and I turned away from him, shame flooding my cheeks. He turned me
back to him with little effort, and forced my face up toward his.
"Why does unhappiness continue to find you?" he asked, his voice gentle as his
big hand held my face. "I know that this time you had pleasure at my touch, arid I
do not under­stand." 
"It's not in yon to understand," I muttered, unable to move my face away from the
sight of him. "I'm not like the women of your world! I'm an individual, a Prime! 
You have no right to treat me like this!"
"I have the right," he answered in amusement "Here—do to me that which I have
done to you."
He let go of me and lay back on the blue and white lace of the pillow cover,
tucking his hands behind his head. I stared at him, at the trim, muscled,
immovable bulk of him, and snorted. 
"How the hell could I?" I demanded, sitting up and brush­ing my hair back over
my shoulders. "Even you could see the difference between us."
"Then you understand my right," he said, cpntinuing to lie stretched out. "I am
able to do to you that which you cannot do to me. Ability provides the right."

"I've heard that one before," 1 said in disgust "I still don't 

28 sharon green 

subscribe to it, but I'm sure the people of your world do. Es­pecially the men."
"When was the time you visited my world?" he asked, eye­ing me curiously.
"Which were the areas you traveled through?"
'Tve never been to your world," I answered, swallowing the urge to jam the heels
of my hands into his unguarded stomach. "If I had the choice, I still wouldn't be
going."
"But how, then, do you know my language?" He raised up on one elbow to study
me. "Also, the customs of my world are familiar to you. Why should this be so?"
"It's so because it's part of my job," I said, looking past him. "I know the 

* 1 
languages and customs of every world known to the Amalgamation. When myservices are required, there usually isn't enough tune for me to stop for a sessionwith a teaching machine. You probably learned Centran at the embassy onRimilia while you were waiting for transpor­tation here.""You are correct." He nodded. "I did indeed gain your tongue at the embassy. Butif you have never been to Rimilia, there is much-left for you to learn. I shall haveto teach you the taste of my world.""I think the word you wanted was flavor, not taste," I said, taking my own turn tolaugh at him. "But speaking of taste, I've just realized that I'm hollow clear to mytoes. I'm going to get something to eat."I scrambled over his legs to the white-carpeted floor, only then finding what hadhappened to my sleep suit I picked it up and put it back on without looking athim, then left the bedroom. My private kitchen was just down the hall, and I gotthere as fast as I could. The last time I'd eaten was right after the Nervous NelliesConvention, and I'd had indigestion even before I'd started.
The chef, for some reason, was programed for a dinner meal, so I changed it fastto the breakfast section and pushed the proper buttons. The aroma of lightly friedmeela eggs al­most killed me as the plate was delivered to the table in front of me,and I followed them rapidly with chemin sandwiches and grilled flatmock. A tall,cold glass of swed washed it all down, and made some room for a wedge of geritecake. I had * almost finished the cake, when I noticed that Tammac! stood in the doorway with his aims folded, watching me almost in annoyance. 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 29 
"You know little of the proper actions of a host," he said when my eyes were onMm. "A Rimilian host feeds guest be­fore self. You have not even inquired as tomy needs.""You've been doing so well seeing to your own needs that it didnt occur to me," Ianswered, taking another bite of cake. "Did you really want something to eat?""I do," he said, not moving from his place at the door. He hadn't dressed again,but it didn't seem to bother him. "Then, by all means, help yourself." I grinned, waving at the chef which heprobably didn't know how to operate. 'Til be through in a minute, and then Til begoing to dress. You'll be able to eat completely undisturbed.""It was necessary to do so at the end of the last sun," he said, coming closer tostand over me. "I felt your anger and your need for solitude and did not intrudeupon it. Now the need is no longer with you, and I will have my dimral from yourhands." I could see his expression clearly, and there was no amuse­ment left in his hard,blue eyes. I tried to take another bite of cake, but it wasn't possible—not with him 
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staring at me like that. I put the eating prong down and cleared my throat."My chefs run out of dimral," I said with a faintness I found unnerving. "What'syour second choice?""You know well enough that dimral is meat," he said stonily. "Any meat will doas well. Produce it now." His voice was as low as it could be, he hadn't threatened me in the slightest, yet Ihadn't the least desire to argue with him. I wet my lips with my tongue, turned tothe chef, and dialed an extra large portion of roast pimond. The platter of pimondwas on the table in no more than fifteen seconds, but Tammad didn't reach for it. It took another fifteen seconds before I understood, then lifted it in his direction without looking at him."Truly, you have much to learn," he said, taking the plate. "You may now leave todress yourself."I stood quickly, furious that he dared to dismiss me in my own home. He paid nofurther attention to me, but went to the far wall and crouched down near it with his back toward it, put the plate of pimond on the floor, then raised the meat to hismouth. "You might try learning to use a chair, barbarian!" I snapped, longing to throwsomething at that blood, shaggy­
30 sharon green 
haired head. "But have no fear. I'd never think of suggesting a knife and prong.They're obviously too far beyond you."I turned my back on him and strode out, still seething. Slamming my bedroomdoor helped, and slamming the bathroom door helped even more, but it still wasn'tenough. I walked back and forth a few times while the tub was filling, thenclimbed in and scrubbed myself briskly and quickly. I toweled down hard, slappedon body lotion, then put my face in the makeup applicator. The applicator was setfor Ald-eranean accent styling, and I was in no mood to change it I pulled my faceout again, checked the black outlining, peach background, and three blood-reddiagonal stripes on left cheek in the mirror, then moved to the hairstyler. Thestyler matched the makeup by piling and curling all of my hair to the right,pointing up the red stripes of high social position. Then, and only then, did I gofor clothing.The Alderanean day suit was a perfect match to my makeup and my mood. Iwound the triple-stripe red legging around my right teg, then pulled on the peachand black tunic. The tunic came down to mid-thigh, showing off my fig­ure with apleasing number of pluses, the high-heeled ankle boots doing nothing to detractfrom it I admired myself in the mirror a few moments, went to add filigreed loopear­rings, then checked the picture again. This time it was per­fect, so I strolled 
* 1 
out of the room. 
Tammad wasn't in sight on the upper floor, but I found him downramp hi mycentral hall, apparently waiting for something. He rose from his crouch when hesaw me, showing he had his swim trunks on again. He studied me in­tently for agood deal longer than a minute, and what began as a smile ended in a grin."Your collat is tempting, woman," he said, looking down at me with thatannoying stare again. "Sorry I am that I must go now to the Sandy Kemper'shouse. The Murdock McKen-zie has sent clothing for me such as that of yourworld's men. I shall take the clothing quickly and return to seek you. See that youdo not leave until then." He leered at me again then turned away to go through the front door, and I let himgo without saying a word as I was totally beyond words. as soon as the doorclosed I continued down the hall past the front door to my speedster hangar, andclimbed into the speedster to warm it up.
"Collat indeed!" I muttered, watching the dials and waiting
 WARRIOR WITHIN 31 
for the necessary RPMs. As if I would dress myself for the express purpose oftempting him! He had too high an opinion of himself, and it was time he got takendown a peg. As soon as the RPMs met minim I released the hangar door, rolledout to the landing circle, and took off straight up.Tallion City was only twenty minutes away, and that's where I was heading. Ileaned back in my seat, piloting man­ually instead of on automatic, thinking aboutwhat Sandy's quadriwagon had done to the Neighborhood lawn. There had beentwo straight furrows all the way through the grass from Sandy's landing strip outin the direction of the service mall. I'd seen them clearly from the air, and theNeighborhood Chairman was bound to see them, too. Sandy would have his headbeaten for destroying the lawn, and it couldn't happen to a more deserving fellow.If we'd wanted ground traffic in our Neighborhood, we would have put in roadsand walk­ways.I was blinked into the T.C. traffic pattern and ordered to automatize mydestination. Manual flying in Tallion City was prohibited, and for good reason.Out of thousands of people going to hundreds of different places, it's notunreasonable to expect at least one to experience loss of control. Since even oneflyer out of control can kill hundreds of people, flyers flew automatically or not atall. If the flyer itself failed, it was caught in the traffic net that was waiting for it.You can't expect a traffic control computer to provide for a failing flyer that isn'tmeshed into its network. I was landed easily on my parking building in almost no time at all, took myshoulder bag and left the speedster to be put in its slot, then took the express drop 
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to ground floor. I had a good deal of buying to catch up on, so I dove into it withenthusiasm, but the enthusiasm soon paled. The newest clothing styles were dulland colorless, this year's furniture was heavy and repelling, and even the jewelrywas badly set and lustreless. After hours of wasting my time, I gave up and wentto my Neighborhood eating center. I could have gone elsewhere, of course, butafter the day I'd had, I was in no mood for inferior courses.The green and brown room was dim and inviting after the crowds in the buyingaudiences. People sat companionably at small tables while soft music played, andas I stood still a moment to let my eyes adjust to the lower lighting, I heard myname being called. I peered around through the privacy 
32 sharon gkben 
shimmer-strands, and saw Lenham Phillips coming toward me.'Terry!" He laughed as he reached me. 'It's hard to be­lieve you're finally home!Let me offer my table in apprecia­tion of that breathtaking outfit It will make thefood taste so much better." "Len Phillips." I smiled fondly. "As big a liar as ever, but welcome in spite of thatHow have you been doing?""Not badly," he said, taking my arm and leading me to his table. "Not as well asyou, my dear Prime, but not at all badly. How was Dremmler's sector?""Don't remind me!" I grimaced, taking a chair opposite his. His gray street suit fitwell on his athletic body, his smile making his dark-blond handsomeness evenmore attractive. "Dremmler's sector probably has the hardest heads and dens­estminds in the entire Amalgamation. Just pray that you never have to mediate there. It isn't even worth a class-one vacation leave." "That's a matter of opinion." He laughed, taking my hand in both of his. "Fromnow on, we're going to have to do something about our tuning. You just got back,and I have to leave tonight All that gives us is this afternoon. Will you go to a realwith me?" At first the idea wasn't very appealing, but then I changed my mind, "Why not?" Iasked lightly. "Being with a civilized man is just what I need.""I should hope so," he said with raised eyebrows, watching as I chose my mealfrom the table's chef. "Have you been spending much time with any other sort?""Not really." I laughed. "It's just that being away from. Central makes me colicky.I'll be fine as soon as I'm back in the swing of things.""I'm sure of it" He smiled. "I saw Jan the other day, and she made a point ofasking if I'd seen The Terror lately. She said if I did, I was to be sure to insist thatyou call her.""With her temper, she has a nerve calling me The Terror," I muttered, moving inthe gold, deep-cushioned chair in an­noyance. "I don't know who she picked it up 
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from." 
"I do," he grinned, "but I think it would be more diplo­matic if I kept it to myself.
I don't want you walking out on me before we get to the real."
"I'd better not pursue that," I decided, watching the sauteed valmin I'd ordered
being slid to the table in front of 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 33 
me. "In the mood I'm in, walking out would be more of a certainty than a risk."He patted my hand in appreciation, then turned to his own food. We ate incompanionable silence until we were through, then left to find a real."I know just the one," Len said as we moved down the slidewalk. "Guy and Veraexperienced it, and couldn't rave about it enough. It's a double, or I would havegone on my own before this. How does that sound?""I suppose it'll do," I said grudgingly. "I have no prefer­ences one way or theother." "Fine," he said. "It's just off the walk at Bend Five. Looks like we're almostthere." We had just passed Bend Four, so we moved to the edge of the walk, then steppedoff at Bend Five. A discreet "R" on the front of the building before us told us thatwe were in the right place, and a greeter opened the door for us with a wel­comingsmile. "Step this way, please," he invited warmly, then closed the door behind us. "Doyou prefer group or private experienc-ingr"Private," Len answered, handing over a large block of Earning Pluses. The E.P.'swere taken by the greeter, a guide was summoned, and we were led to a smallcream-colored room with two light-gold couches."Gentleman to the left, lady to the right," the guide in­structed us. "Press thecontacts in place as soon as you're settled. If you need any assistance, activate thebutton on ei­ther couch. Have a pleasant experience."He closed the door behind him, and Len smiled at me. "You seem to be right, asusual, Terry. I suppose it's my lot in life to be left Shall we?""One more comment like that and you witt be left." I winced as I followed him to the couches. "What's the title of this electrifying experience?""It's called, Tree World Adventure,*" Len said, leaning over the light-gold consolein front of his couch. "You like trees, don't you, Terry?"Tm mad about them," I answered with a small, unvoiced groan, lying down on mycouch. "I may never speak to Guy and Vera again.""You won't be the only one," he agreed as he reached for his headset "Now let'scoordinate." 
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sharon green 
We made ourselves comfortable on the couches, prepared the contacts, thenpressed the headsets in place on the count of three. All outside sensation cut offimmediately, then / found myself standing alone in a large clearing surrounded bygiant trees, I knew I had just landed my disabled ship on the planet, expecting tofind a research base where I might find help, but the only clearing where the basemight have been found was entirely deserted.1 looked around at the trees again, hoping for some sign of the base or itspersonnel, and suddenly felt that I wasn't done. I was being watched fromsomewhere, and the thought made me shiver.I turned to go back to my ship, running slightly to get there faster. I might not beable to fly the ship, but at least it was shelter. I'd close the airlock and stay inside,and hope that my S.O.S. reached someone before my supplies ran out. I knew Iwould never be able to go into that forest for food.I was almost to the foot of the ship's ramp, when I screamed and stopped dead inmy tracks. A man who looked fust like Len was there, but it was a Len J had neverknown. He was unbelievably big and well muscled, wearing not a single stitch ofclothing. I screamed again and cringed away from Mm, but he was on me in aflash. He-threw me to the ground and over on my face, then bound my handsbehind my back. I screamed for help, pleaded for mercy, but it was all wastedbreath. I was lifted to a wide, brawny shoulder, and carried against my will intothat dread, brooding forest.We went a long way through the trees, and 1 was quickly disoriented. My captorseemed to know exactly where he was going, stopping at long last before one ofthe mile-high trees. There was very little light, but he had no difficulty in findinghis way about. His arms worked past my dangling legs, and then I was completelyfrozen with fear—he was climbing a rope or something up into the tree!I hardly dared breathe while he climbed, for fear he would drop me or lose hisgrip and plunge us both to the ground. 1 kept my eyes squeezed tightly shut,praying to my Maker that I would survive the climb, and eventually my prayerswere answered. He stood at last on a wide, long branch, and then moved closer tothe tree trunk. In another minute we were inside the tree trunk, and I looked around H»M shock at a hollowed out room. It wasn't very big, but it was shelterwith-
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 35 
out doubt, and the man threw me down near the wall at the very back of the room-cave. He left me to go outside again, and I whimpered and pulled at the rope on my 
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wrists. It was impossible to loosen it, but even if I had, there was nowhere for meto go. Fd never be able to climb down the way he had come up, and even if Imiraculously found myself whole, untied, and on the ground, I would still behopelessly lost. I was doomed to depend on the mercy of the man who had foundme, and could only hope that he had mercy within him.The man appeared again in the doorway, causing me to gasp with fright. Hecame closer to stare down at me as I lay shivering, then he bent and saidsomething in a harsh, gut­tural, totally unintelligible language."I don't understand you," I whispered to him. "Please don't hurt me! Please have mercy /"Anger creased his features, and he slapped me hard across the face, putted myhead back by the hair, and repeated his original demand."I don't know what you want!" I screamed, terror strong within me. My cheekblazed hot where he'd struck me, my hair was being torn from my head, and I wasat the mercy of a man who had no mercy.He snarled angrily and shook my head by the hair, then re­leased my hair. Myrelief was very short-lived, though, as the next thing he did was pull at my clothes.I was so petrified I couldn't speak, but could only hope that my clothing wouldkeep him from me. My hopes were as doomed as I, poor girl, for my clothingresisted being opened, but could not resist his tearing fingers. It was torncompletely from me, and I lay be-fore him, naked and entirely helpless.I begged him not to take me, not to make me his body slave, but he would not havelistened even had he understood. He was brutal in his pleasure, brutal andcomplete. He caused me agony with deliberation, and I could do nothing but—
I sat blinking on the couch, the contacts in my right hand, trying to shake off thelast lingering effects of the real. 1 took a deep breath and looked over at Len, buthe was still deep within the experience. His arms were bent at the elbows and hisfingers were flexing, his body bumped up and down in a rhythm, and his faceshowed cruel, determined excitement. 
I tossed the contacts back onto the console and stood up. 
sharon green 
The totally alien emotions the real had forced me to feel had also enabled me tobreak out of the experience. I was furious with Len for having brought me there,but I knew exactly why he had done it. He wanted the experience of humbling me,of making me a cringing slave, expecting the experience to stay with me longenough for him to take me physically in a master-slave Way after the real hadended. Chances are that he would have succeeded, too, since reals cling to you forsome time after their completion. // they complete. I took my shoulder bag fromthe floor near the couch, then headed for the door. I'd joined Len long enough in 
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the real for him to be able to complete on his own. His frustrations would be­ginwhen completion found him all alone in the room.The greeter stared at me curiously as I left, but naturally made no move to stopme. I stood outside the building for a time, watching people go by on thesidewalk, feeling a deep dissatisfaction that I couldn't trace. All those months inthe conference rooms in Dremmler's sector had made me eager to be back onCentral, but now that I was here, I wondered what it was that Fd missed. I finallyshrugged it off, really looked around me, then made for Verasten Hardy's place.Vera enjoyed city life more than she cared for suburban living, so she had optedfor an apartment in her original Neighborhood's residential area in Tallion City.Some people maintained both house and apartment, but Vera didn't want a houseand I didn't want an apartment, so we generally called one another if either of ushad n^ -d of the other's lo­cation. Vera's apartment was all on one level, with thepri­vate living quarters behind the visitors' rooms rather than above them, andVera herself opened the door to me, then squealed in surprise.'Terry, darling, I don't believe it!" she gushed. "You've been gone absolutelyforever! Do come in and tell me all about your marvelous adventures, I'm justdying to hear."I let her bustle me into her guest room, fighting back a grim­ace when I saw thather apartment had been redecorated With this year's furniture. There were fiveheavy, dark blue chairs, two heavy dark pink couches, three low, hideously carvedtables, a monstrously large, overdecorated hutch, and acres of thick, blue and pinkpatterned drapes on the win­dows. It took something of an effort, but I sat on oneof the couches and smiled at her. 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 37 
"Vera, love, your taste is always up to the minute. Do be a dear and save my life
for me. I'm just dying for I glass of port Winsen."
"Of course." She laughed over her shoulder as she crossed the room. "I'll have a
glass with you. How long have you been back?"
"Only a few days," I answered, watching her pour two glasses of port at the hutch.
She carried them back to the couch, handed me one, then sat down beside me. 
"Has any­thing exciting been happening, or is it all the same as it was?"
"Most things don't change." She shrugged, sipping her port. "Jan has taken up
with Rodmil Holper, and you'll never guess why. But that reminds me. I'd better
warn you before it's too late."
"Before what's too late?" I asked in amusement, drinking my own port as she put
hers down. "Vera, you always sound like the warning before crisis."
"This time I am!" she insisted. "I just wish someone had warned me. There's a 
new real around that you have to avoid at all costs. I've never had such a 

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shattering experience!""You couldn't possibly mean, Tree Planet Adventure'?" I asked with only a slightedge to my voice. "If so, you're a little late. I just left there, and as a matter of fact,Len said you and Guy recommended it.""Maybe Guy did, but I never would," she stated, then lifted her glass again todrain it. "On second thought, I'm sure Guy recommended it. Terry, it wasunbelievable! How is it you're here now if you just experienced it?""I didn't complete the experience." I grinned. "I'd like to see Len's face when heemerges and finds that I'm gone.""So would I," she said savagely, her dark eyes lighting in a way that made meuneasy. "I'd also like to see Guy in the same fix. He trapped me into it, Terry, andI completed the experience. When it was over I tried to throw it off, but I couldn't.I spent three days at his place, serving him on my knees, kissing him for everyslap, thanking him for abusing me, before I could break out of it Rod took Jan aweek ago, and she hasn't broken out of it yet. The thing should be de­claredillegal.""It probably already has been," I assured her. "That was a real house I'd neverbeen to before, and I'm sure it's tem­porary and restricted, but they just 'forgot' toask if I was 
38 sharon green 
willing. The most that could happen would be a fine for the house, and a warningfor its owner. It's too effective a real to be suppressed.""Ill say it's effective." She grimaced, a hand to her throat. 1 still quiver at thethought of Guy. I've managed to avoid him since I escaped from his apartmentsbut I have the awful feeling that if he walked in right now I'd go to my knees infront of him, let him tie my wrists behind me, then follow him back to hisapartment Fve been afraid to go out since I got back."Vera sat staring into space, her eyes wide and frightened, her left hand clenched inher lap. She was on the verge of losing herself to her fears, and it wasn't anattractive sight."Why don't you take a trip?" I suggested, pitying her more than I cared to show."I'm sure that a month or two away from here will make all the difference, andyouTl come back just as you used to be."'That's a good idea," she agreed shakily, brushing at her lavender-tinted hair. Shewore lavender and red makeup, off­setting a purple-shaded house suit that hungloosely on her, and then her suddenly visibly weary eyes were resting on meagain. "You couldn't use a house guest for a while, could you?"I was almost tempted to accept her partial plea, but then I remembered what I hadleft at home. 
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"Unfortunately, I already have one," I told her, emptying my glass. "A colleaguefrom Dremmler's sector, visiting Cen­tral for the first time. He's unbelievablybackward, but I'm stuck with him, at least until we leave for the mediation as­signment I've just been given. He's coming along to see if he can learnanything."Her expression changed then, and it was an expression I'd never seen before. "Ireally envy you," she said wistfully, staring at me with surprising longing. "Hereyou are, a PXM with a wonderful career, and here am I useless at everything.After serving my required year with Central central, I'd hoped they would ask meto continue, but they never did. I just wasn't good enough. I have everything Ineed now but a purpose in life." .She was staring down at her hands in a way that left me shaken, but it wasn'tsomething I could show. "Come now, it's not that bad!" I encouraged heartily,patting her knee. 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 39 
"There are many things to do if you look about you. Well get together againbefore I leave, and I'll help you choose something. Right now, it's getting late andI'd better be on my way.""Wouldn't you like another port?" she asked in a hopeful tone as I stood up. "Wecould talk about old times and who's doing what now."I begged off and left as fast as possible, feeling worse than I had before I'darrived. I'd never known that Vera was so unhappy, and it was very unsettling. Ihated to admit it, but the only composed person on Central seemed to be MurdockMcKenzie! It was dusk before I was back in my speedster, heading for home. I put it onautomatic and leaned back, thinking about what was waiting for me. After thislong a tune, the bar­barian should have realized that I was an individual to bedealt with, not a servant to be ordered about. If he expected my help with hisproblem, he'd have to treat me with respect and consideration. I stirred in my seatharness, knowing how fine it was going to be pointing this out to him, watchinghim compose himself for a sincere apology. After a time, I might even forgivehim. His problem was an interesting one, and the professional in me was attractedby it hi spite of Mur­dock McKenzie's underhanded methods. I would handle theproblem well, and never let Murdock forget that he'd had to come to Mediationfor his solution. In just a few minutes' time, I set down on my landing-circle and rolled inside thehangar. The door closed securely behind me as the engine whined down to theshut-off point, so I secured all controls, got out, then ambled into the house. Theground floor was deserted, and that was just as well. I hadn't had dinner yet, and I 
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was beginning to be hungry. I went upramp to the living floor, intending to visitmy kitchen, but Tammad suddenly stepped out of my bedroom into my path. Istopped short to keep from running into him, and gave him a pleasant smile."So there you are, l'lenda," I murmured as I brushed at ray tunic skirt. "I trustyou've had enough time to do an ade­quate amount of thinking?""Indeed I have," he answered with a nod, folding his arms. "The day has fled inthe tone of your absence."
His expression wasn't quite as anxious as it should have 
40 sharon green 
teen, but that was sorely because I hadnt explained matters to him as yetTrue enough," I agreed. "I'm sure you now realize that Fm not to be trifled with. Ifyou expect me to... .""I expect you to obey my word," he snapped, rudely inter­rupting me. "OnRimilia, it could mean your life! I shall have to teach you proper respect for himto whom you belong, lest this ever happen again. In the room!"His broad face showed anger as he pointed toward the bed­room, but I couldn'tbelieve it He was treating me, a Prime, as if I were a nobody!"How dare you speak to me that way," I gasped, moving a small step backward."Don't you realize... ?""Woman, in the room!" he repeated, taking me by the neck and propelling methrough the doorway i then following behind. "Too long have you lived amongthese nonmen, these darayse. They know nothing of the training of women fortheir place, but I have not that lack. Should you ever think upon disobeying meagain, your fate will be well known to you!"I stumbled from the push, nearly losing my balance, and felt shocked as I neverhad been in my life. I didn't know what the barbarian was talking about but I knewit wasn't right. Couldn't he see that he needed my help badly? That if hemistreated me, my help might not be forthcoming? I tried to explain that to him,but he refused to listen. He pushed me over to the bed, then picked up whatlooked like a long, thin tree branch.''You were bidden not to leave the house," he explained in his calm, even way, theanger frighteningly showing behind the calm. "Because you were not aware of theconsequences of disobedience, your punishment will be less harsh than itotherwise would be. You are not to disobey me again."I was wide-eyed and confused, determined not to tremble before the likes of abarbarian, but then he pushed me face down on the bed, putting one of his kneesin the small of my back. I struggled to get away from him, fought to squirm loose,but his weight held me in the place with no other effort necessary from him. Hestripped the triple-red legging from me and threw it aside, then tucked up my 
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tunic skirt, I was wild with the thought of what he would do to me, and then ithappened! He brought the thin, springy branch down hard 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 41 
across my hips, leaving a streak of fire in its wake! Fd never felt anything like it before, and I screamed with the pain, but it was just the beginning. He beat mewith the branch, across my hips and thighs, until I cried wildly for him to stop,but he continued on as if he intended destroying me. When my tears ran mymakeup down to the bed to a stream, he finally stopped and took his knee frommy back."Your place will become more familiar to you as time passes," he said over mysobs. "I shall do my best to teach you the—flavor of my world. The MurdockMcKenzie has sent you writings which you are to study. Do so now."He stepped away, came back to drop a pile of report folders near me, then went tothe other end of the bed and lay down. The sobs racked my body, the pain of thebeating burned at me unceasingly, yet I took the first folder and opened it. If Ihadn't, he might have beaten me again.I was able to make out that the report dealt with the situa­tion on Rimilia.Although I learned nothing I hadn't already known, I read it all the way through,then went to the second report. I ached even without trying to move, and feltbewil­dered and afraid and all alone. For the first time in my life Td been beaten,and it had been a horrible, alien experience.The second report contained the statements of those who had gone to Rimilia, andit was their unanimous opinion that Tammad needed nothing more than someexpert help in ne­gotiation in order to deal with the other barbarian leaders. Theconclusion almost set me sniffling again, because he hadn't needed any help indealing with met When I put. the second report aside, Tammad abruptly stood up from the bed. "Iwould have my dimral now, woman," he said with that same, unruffled calm. "You may finish those others later."I didn't look at him, but raised myself painfully from the bed and followed alongbehind him to my kitchen. He stood aside as I went to the chef and dialed anotherportion of pimond, then he took the plate I handed him. I turned back to the cheffor my own dinner, but his hand was on my arm.
"The writings have not been completed," he told me. "Go you now and see tothem." I stared at him for a minute, seeing the unyielding decision on his face, then wentmiserably back to my bedroom. He wasn't angry any longer, but I wasn't to beallowed to eat un­
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42 sharon green 
til I had his permission. The tears started again even before I lay down, making thethird report one large blur. I cried and tried to stop crying, peered and tried tobegin reading, but it was all too much. I cried and cried, then cried myself to
vsleep. 
I opened my eyes to the comfort of my bedcovers around me, but wasn't ready toget up yet. I shifted position onto my back—and gasped at the soreness. Iremembered then what the barbarian had done to me, and I moved my head tolook at him. He lay peacefully asleep beside me, his blond head unpillowed, justas though he were the most innocent being ever created. I realized that my clotheswere gone again and my hair had been released from the clips that had held it inplace, and knew whom I had to thank for the condition.I shifted the other way, onto my side, trying to come up with a positive course ofaction. The night before Td been too shocked to do anything more than react, butsomething had to be done. He couldn't be allowed to beat me and order me about as if I were his—belonging. I was a Prime, and had my pride to consider."Are you refreshed from your long sleep?!" Tammad's voice came suddenly frombehind me. "You did not even stir when I placed you beneath the coverings."So he was awake now, too. "Beatings are well known for curing insomnia," I toldhim coldly, keeping my eyes on the lace wall dress. "Perhaps some day you'd careto try it your­self.""What need have I of an aid to sleep?" He chuckled, then pulled me around toface him. When I stiffened in his arms, he frowned at me, almost as though hewere confused. "I had thought you were now pleased by my touch," he said,looking down at me. "Why do you again resist me?"
"I haven't stopped resisting you!" I told him, hands flat 
43 

44 sharon green 
against his broad chest "And how am I supposed to know what your mood is? AmI to welcome you with open arms, only to be greeted with that branch again?""You seem to learn very slowly." He sighed, moving me closer to him to strokemy hair. "You were beaten at the end of the last sun for disobeying my word. Ifyou do not disobey me, you will not be beaten. Is this now clear to you?""No, it is notl" I answered hotly, squirming against that unreasonable giant-strength of his. "You have no right to beat me for any reason! I'm a grown womanand a Prime, and I needn't listen to anyone!""You must now listen to me." He grinned, putting his hand beneath my hair onto 
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my back. "I do not wish to see you die upon Rimilia, which is all too likely tooccur if you fail to obey my word. Beginning with you then would be too late;therefore I have begun with you now. The switch will remind you should you everforget"His hand on my back reached more than just my skin, making me frantic.Desperately I said, "If you ever touch me again—in any way—I won't help you!"He was a barbarian and I feared his strength, but more than that I feared that Msbody would call to mine again. I hated him, bated everything he said and did, butmy body didn't hate his. He had be­witched me somehow, and I didn't know howto break the spell. I watched him closely, and his grin faded to a small smile."Then I will have the help of another," he murmured, pull­ing me so close I couldbarely breathe. "You will merely re­turn with me as a green-eyed woman I shallkeep—or gift to a friend. Rimilia will then truly be yours."He wasn't joking—I could see he wasn't joking. I felt sick at the thought andclosed my eyes to keep the tears from es­caping, but they seeped out anyway andran down my cheeks to his chest. I didn't want to obey him, didn't want to go toRimilia with him, but if I didn't obey him he would beat me, if I didn't help him hewould own me. It wasn't fair, and I began screaming it out loud, beating againsthim with my fists, over and over, until the rage had evaporated and the tears wereleft by themselves, then he held me close again and let me cry against him. I crieda long time in the circle of his arms, and he didn't begin to take me until the tearswere gone, but then he took me so completely there was no longer opportunity fortears. His body gave mine what it so 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 45 
desperately wanted, but my exhaustion was so great after­ward that I fell asleepagain.When I awoke the second time, I was alone in the bed. I squirmed comfortably inthe wrinkled linen and thought about Tammad with a great deal of annoyance. Hewas so damned difficult to understand that it was almost more than one could be expected to bear. One minute he was beating me terribly, and the next minute hewas comforting my tears. How was I supposed to deal with him if I didn't knowwhat to expect from him next?And the way he treated me in bed! My body had begun to enjoy such treatment,had begun to demand it! He answered my demands so perfectly that I wouldlikely be ruined for­ever because of it Where would I ever find another barbarian
on Central? 
I sighed at the absurdity of the thought, then got up. Con­sidering "that the
soreness of the beating and the barbarian's "love-making" was still very much
with me, I would never again seek the company of a barbarian for any reason. 
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They were much too prone to wanting things their own way, which did not agreewith my own outlook on life.I waited for the tub to fill, then stepped into the water. My mirror had shown memy bruises, and I was not at all pleased. There were no breaks in the skin, but ithadn't been for want of trying. The beast had applied the switch with a will, and Istill flinched at the thought of it If ever I had the opportunity to repay the favor, Iwould be sure to do so. "Should you continue to bathe so often, you soon will have no skin left,"Tammad's amused voice came from the door­way. I jumped in surprise, thenglared at him."Don't you ever make any noise when you walk?" I de­manded. "And what areyou doing in here? I'm accustomed to having privacy in my bath!""You must now accustom yourself to other ways," he com­mented as he lookedaround. "On Rimilia you will never bathe without a guard on shore, and the guardmay be any of my warriors. For what reason are these things here?"He stood at my dressing table, fingering the pure white wood and the matchingwhite furred chair. Then he lifted a bottle of scent, turned it this way and that, andfinally moved his finger over the tiny photocell area. A thick mist of the scentsprang immediately out of the nozzle, spreading itself 
46 sharon green 
all over his chest. At the appalled look on his face, I lost all control and laugheduproariously."Those things are for trapping the unwary," I gasped, watching him trying to wipethe scent off. He was totally un­successful, of course, as the scent was designed topenetrate the skin immediately. He gave up trying with a sigh, and looked at meruefully.'Truly have I forgotten that the unknown should be ap­proached with caution.Now I, too, shall require a bath.""About time, I'd say," I commented under my breath, standing up to redial the tub.The doty water was gone by the time I stepped out and fresh water had replaced itby the time I had my towel, so I waved a hand at ft. "The tub is now yours,barbarian, but don't complain about the fit. It was never designed for someone ofyour proportions.""I shall make do," he said, stepping carefully into the water. When it didn'timmediately dissolve him, he lowered himself to a sitting position, then glanced atme. "When a man relaxes in the camtah of his people," he mused, "often hiswoman will dance for him. Do you now remove the cov­ering and dance for me."His eyes moved to study me in that way he had, but that in itself wasn't enough tomake me lose control. 
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"Sorry, but I don't dance," I told him, pulling the towel more closely about me."Dancing tends to disturb the mental attitudes necessary for Mediating, so I mustavoid it. I'm sure you understand."He continued to stare at me for a minute, then slowly nodded his shaggy blondhead. "Perhaps it is the truth," he decided. "You dance well when lying down, buthave no con­trol of your aman then. It is your aman which will be needed at the Great Meeting. Why have you not yet eaten? The bath­ing could have waited.""I always bathe when I arise," I said, reflecting that bed with him was the onlytime I had no control of my aman. There was nothing wrong with my mentalability under other circumstances. "And I didn't know I was to be allowed to eat. Ithought perhaps you had decided I was too fat.""You've hardly enough flesh to lure a man's hands." He grinned, leaning back andmaking the water slosh onto the floor. "When you are not permitted to eat, youwill be told so. Go you now and see to it quickly. The remainder of the 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 47 
writings of the Murdock McKenzie must also be seen to this day."Being reminded about the reports annoyed me, but not as much as his automaticassumption of obedience. I shrugged a bit, as if resigned to my fate, then droppedthe towel and went for my body lotion. I began spreading it slowly in long,sweeping curves, timing it so that I'd be through and gone be­fore the barbariancould wash and dry himself. I'd teach him to order me around.Suddenly, there was a great splash of water, and I was seized from behind andthrown to the carpeting. The bar­barian was on me at once, his dripping body inpossession of mine before I could gasp out my shock. He took me hard, forcinghis hands below me so that I jerked my soreness from him, only to be hammeredat by him from above. H« dictated my movement with his hands, meeting it atjust the right moment with his hips, and through it all I barely knew what washappening. When he had used me well, he stood straight above me and lookeddown at my dazed and battered form."Do not offer temptation when you do not care to have the offer accepted," helectured, folding those massive arms. "The lesson will serve you well on Rimilia.Go you now for your sustenance, lest I decide to find other use for you."I sat up and pulled my towel to me, thoroughly wide-eyed by what had happened,but I must not have moved quickly enough for him as he took a step toward meand began reaching out a hand. I gasped and jumped to my feet, then fled to mykitchen, trailing my towel and the sound of his laughter. The laughter infuriatedme, and I would have bro­ken something if my kitchen had had anything that wasbreakable. A lesson had been taught, an right, but when would I be able to teachone to him? 
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I dialed my meal, then wrapped the towel about me while it was being delivered. Ihad no interest in Murdock McKen-zie's reports, but I knew I would read themanyway after I'd eaten. I was damp from the dripping wet barbarian, and alsobecause of him needed another bath, but after I'd eaten, the reports would be seento. I'd already had my orders.I ate my food with very little appetite, cursing Murdock McKenzie all the while.If not for him, I would not be where I was, subject to the whims of a giant. I'd nothad such re­strictions even as a child, having been raised in a creche for 
48 sharon green 
the gifted. We'd had such freedom there that my mother and father had foundvisiting painful. When their visits had stopped I hadn't even missed them, and Fdbeen surprised when they came to my formal appointment as XenoMediator.They'd shown pride and considerable shyness, but to me they'd been half-remembered strangers whom I'd avoided as soon as possible. They'd never triedseeing me again.Annoyed with the turn my thoughts had taken, I began dis­posing of the dishes,but was interrupted by the signal of the call. I waved my hand jn its direction, andwas startled to see the features of Janverin Elliott "Terry!" she said at once. 'I'm so glad I caught you in. How are you?""The question is, how are you?' I countered, studying her unmadeup but radiantface. "I saw Vera yesterday, and she seemed to think you were in a lot ofdifficulty.""I know." Jan laughed, looking somehow both younger and older. Jan had alwaysbeen a proud woman, almost larger than life, but there was nothing left of herformer pride. "I spoke to her myself this morning. That's how I knew you wereback. I haven't much time, so I'll get straight to the point. Rod is letting me have aparty tonight, and I'd like you to come. Will you, Terry?""Why, you know I'd love to," I temporized, shocked at the change in her, "but Ihave a house guest now, and... .""Please, Terry, you must come!" she begged, her face now pleading. "I want youto see my new happiness and under­stand it. And Rod said I was to get you here ifyou were back. Vera will be here, and you can bring your house guest Please,Terry, say yes.""Jan, what's happened to you?" I demanded, staring as she brushed anxiously ather loose, black hair. "People used to beg you for invitations, and you would laughat them. What has Rod done to you?""He's made me a fulfilled woman at last," she said, her eyes gazing glowingly onsome faraway, promised land. "I've never been as happy as I am now, and I praydaily that he never tires of me." Her gaze, still shining, came back to me again. 
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"Will you come to the party, Terry? For the sake of old friendship?"
"All right, Jan," I conceded, feeling more than just dis­turbed. "I'll be there. But
what have you...."

"Please forgive me," she interrupted, "but I have other 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 49 
calls to make before Rod awakens from his cap. I'll see you tonight, and perhapsI'll be allowed to speak with you. I hope so. Clear.""Clear," I repeated automatically to the already blank screen. I was shocked againto realize that Jan was no longer chatting for hours with each call she made. Thechanges ia her were incredible, and Td get to the bottom of it that night—whetherRod cared for the idea or not! "You may serve me before going to the writings," Tarn-mad said from behind me.I was tired of having him sneak up on me, but I had other thoughts to occupy me."Barbarian, we've been invited out tonight," I said as I di­aled femmer stew forhim. "Did you say Murdock McKenzie sent clothes for you?""He did." He nodded, keeping serious eyes on me. "The woman who called uponfriendship—was it she who asked for our presence?""She's the one," I agreed. "I've already told people'that you're a colleague of minefrom Dremmler's sector, so they won't be expecting much from you. There's alsovery little risk since her crowd includes only two XM's—me and LenPhillips—and Len left the planet last night If you feel you'd rather not take thechance, though, I can always go alone,""I shall accompany you," he said, taking the plate I handed him. "The woman didnot seem right, and you will not go alone.""Your concern is touching," I told him with a snort. "Are you going to protect mefrom a feral Jan Elliott?" "Your amusement is misplaced," he countered. "It is not the woman herself whobids caution, but the reason for her condition." He started toward the wall with his plate, hesi­tated, then turned back to the table. He put the plate down, thengingerly lowered himself into the chair. The chair creaked under his weight,causing him to grab for the table edge, but it held together in spite of the threatand he was able to glance at me again."Do you need the switch to remind you of that which you must do?" he demandedtestily. "Get you gone!"I swallowed a smirk, then turned and left the kitchen. Unless I was mistaken, he planned on trying to use a prong as well as a chair, and I was much better off notseeing that.
I took the opportunity to rinse off quickly in the tub before 
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stretching out across the foot of my bed with the reports. The third one that Fdbeen unable to read the night before was nothing more than the explanation ofRimilian customs that Sandy had neglected. I glanced through it, sure that it heldnothing I hadn't already learned, then picked up the final re­port. It was a thickone, filled with geographical exactitudes, approximations of barbarianpopulations, definitions of Cen-tran aims, and more nonsense of the same sort Ibegan at the obvious point, bored with the thing already, and made my waythrough it.I read for hours, mostly under the watchful eye of Tarn-mad. He had come intothe bedroom and stretched out on my bed, but hadn't said a word. He nappedKghfly for a while, opening his eyes each time I shifted my position, only to closethem again immediately. Finally, he opened them and kept them open, reachingover to unwrap the towel from me so as to have what to look at. The actionirritated me, but there was little I could do about it I read the report, and ig­noredhim completely.When I finally finished the last page, I sighed and stretched, looked at the time,then stood up. "We'd better eat now if we're going to dress for the party," I said."This is one party I have no intention of being late to.""Will there not be food at this party?" be asked, snatching at the towel Td wrappedaround me again. I jumped back out Of his reach, and tucked the flap firmly inplace.The place to eat is at home," I lectured over my shoulder as I headed for thekitchen. "Parties are for socializing and nothing more. Don't tell me you eat atparties on Rimilia be­cause I already know ft and am shocked no end.""We both eat and drink at gatherings on my home world," he answered lazily,following along behind me. "My brethren too would be shocked at such singularlack of hospitality. To invite a man to your roof and then fail to offer sustenanceis a deadly insult""We're much more broad-minded on Central," I said, di­aling two portions ofmatider in cream sauce. A nice, chflled wine also seemed to be called for, so I ordered a bottle, then added, "Deadly insult is a refined art here, and a game mostof us enjoy playing. If your planet is ever civilized, you'll know what I mean." 
"Such does not mean civilization to me," he muttered, low-
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 51 
ering himself carefully into a chair. "Such are fee ways of beings without apurpose in life.""And I suppose you have a purpose?" I snapped, stung un­reasonably by his 
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backward, barbarian criticism. "Indeed I do," he answered, taking the plate I handed him and sniffing at it. "Forthe moment, my purpose is to learn what manner of dimral this might be. Do youserve me poi­son, woman?""Poison?" I repeated in deep indignation. "Ill have yon know, barbarian, that that dish is not kept in every home. Only those of the highest social position caneven consider it, and...." "I shall be pleased to taste it after my host," he interrupted flatly, gesturingtoward my plate. I glared at him, then took a good-sized prongful without furthercomment. He watched me chew and swallow, then tasted his own. The taste did not please him, but he began eating anyway. I controlled my outrage, and pouredtwo glasses of wine."I'm sure you'll find tihis vintage much too bitter," I said, lifting my glass withoutreally looking at him. "Don't bother if you aren't in the mood.""It is discourteous to refuse the offerings of a host," he muttered, taking the glasswith a singular lack of enthusiasm. He sipped at it, his brows went up, then hedrained the glass in a single gulp. "The drink has no body, but it pleases me," heannounced graciously. "You should have offered this sooner."He took the entire bottle then, drinking half of ft without using a glass. I rubbedmy eyes for a moment, then turned my attention to my food. In future, I'd make apoint of sep­arate meals.
As soon as I finished eating, I went back to my bedroom, but my house guest
was right behind me—with something to say.
"Do not dress as you did during the last sun," he ordered in an offhand manner,
going toward a pile of boxes that was nothing of mine. "Should there be men at
this party, such a display would be most improper."
I stopped where I was, and turned to stare at him in disbe­lief.
"You have more nerve than an aching tooth!" I said in outrage. "How many times
have you stripped me naked in 

52 sharon green 

the last few days? How many times have you raped me? How many times have
you. .. ."
"That has no bearing," he interrupted impatiently, waving it al! aside with a single
gesture. "Will you never learn that you are my belonging? Do as I bid you, and do
not cover your face as it was covered. A woman's beauty was not meant to be
hidden beneath the paint of savages."
"Savages!" I echoed weakly, realizing again that he was be­yond belief. He, a
barbarian, spoke to me, a woman of civili­zation, of savages! I closed my eyes in
surrender, then continued on to my bathroom. 

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I set my makeup applicator for the barest minimum pos­sible, then studied theresults in the mirror. Fd asked for the barest minimum, and that's what I'd gotten.I hadn't even re­ceived cheekbone underlining.Sighing deeply, I settled myself under the hair styler. I sup­pose I shouldn't havebeen surprised to have my hair parted in the middle and combed straight down,but I still felt upset. If I hadn't been so eager to see Jan, I would have gonedirectly to bed.Considering my mood, there was only one thing for me to wear. I hadn't worn itsince Td Mediated a dispute on Garen-dar, but it was absolutely perfect for theoccasion. It was a sheer, gauzy material of brilliant green, wrapping so manytimes around me that it covered me tightly from neck to ankles, winding one extratime around my shoulders and half my upper arms. Nothing could be seen of mebut my face, and naturally I went barefoot. I examined myself in the mir­ror witha very deep sigh, then returned to the bedroom.Tammad was there, but I almost didn't recognize him. He wore a dark gold formalsuit, one-piece and form-fitting, with a light blue ascot at his throat that matchedhis eyes.. His feet were encased in short gold boots that gave him unnecessaryextra height, and his blond hair had been combed. When he heard me he turned,and a small smile touched his lips."Collat indeed," he murmured, coming close to stare down at me. "Should themen of your world prove to be other than darayse, I will have to fight for you thisnight Gladly will I do so." "The men of my world don't fight for women," I said, ig­noring the feeling that Isounded apologetic. "They offer themselves, and then wait for a woman to choosethem." 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 53 
"More fools, they" He grinned, stepping back again. "We had best be on our waynow, lest we find the need to redress. You tempt me sorely, and I am but a man."I didn't have to be told that twice, and hurriedly led the way to my hangar. Iopened the door of my speedster and tried to step up to the hatch, but found that itwas impos­sible—the windings of the cloth were much too tight. I stood there,wondering what to do, and the problem was solved for me. Tammad picked me upwithout the least effort, then put me in through the hatch; I got to the controls asquickly as possible—he had put his face to my stomach before setting me back onmy feet.The safety harness of the second seat closed around Tam­mad, but only on the lastnotch, and at that, just barely. I got us airborne and set the course for Jan's place,then put it on automatic. It was a twenty-five minute flight, and I didn't care forthe thought of accidents^ but I needn't have both­ered. Tammad sat stiff and 
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straight in the seat, his jaw set, no expression on his face. He was obviously afraid
of flying, and that confused me. If he was that afraid, why had he come?
We eventually reached Jan's house, where I landed among dozens of other
speedsters and quadriwagons. It was barely past the earliest party time, but most
of the other guests had already arrived. Obviously, I wasn't the only one who was
curious about the new Jan. 
Tammad unstrapped with & great deal of relief, led the way out of the speedster,
then lifted me down; I took over the lead to Jan's front door and walked right in.
The short hall into Jan's party room was deserted, but the party room itself was
beginning to be well filled.
Jan had decorated floor, walls and ceiling with dimmed pinpoint glows, giving the
effect of jewels scattered about all over. She had resisted this year's furniture
choice, wisely stay­ing with last year's long, low, plain look. People stood or sat
about, chatting around the soft music, but Jan was nowhere in sight. I caught a
glimpse of someone coming toward me, and turned to see Vera. She wore a short,
lilac party dress of plumed feathers, and nervously plucked at one of the feathers
as she hurried over. 
"Terry, I'm glad you came," she whispered. "I wanted to refuse the invitation, but
Jan begged me. You must have spo­ken with her. this morning. What did you
think?" 

54 sharon green 

"I didn't like it," I admitted, looking at the crowd again. "Hasn't she come down
yet?"
"Not yet," Vera said. "And that isn't like her, either. Terry, you don't think
she's—sick?" 
"Well find out once we talk to her," I said soothingly. "It isn't smart jumping to
any.... What's the matter?"
Vera's glance had gone past me, and she'd suddenly paled and gasped. I looked
around to see what had frightened her, but couldn't find a thing. I turned back, and
she pointed a re­strained finger behind me.
"Don't you see him?" she demanded in a whisper. "I've never seen a man that big!
He makes me nervous just stand­ing there."
It finally came through that she was talking about Tarn-mad, so I smiled weakly.
"As a matter of fact, Vera, he's the house guest I was telling you about Do let me
introduce you."
Vera had as little choice about going as I'd had about of­fering. We both turned
reluctantly to Tammad, but I knew I was the more reluctant I had no idea how he
would ac­knowledge introductions.
"Vera, allow me to present Tammad sek L'lenda, my col­league from Dremmler's 

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sector. Tammad, this is my friend, Verasten Hardy.""I am honored, Verasten Hardy," Tammad said, his direct, blue eyes smiling atVera. "Your presence makes the room glow more brightly.""Why, thank you!" Vera simpered, forgetting all about how frightened she'd been."You're going to be a wonderful new addition to Central. Terry, why have youbeen biding him? He's absolutely delightful.""I'm glad you think so," I muttered, and then kept quiet. It was a miracle thatTammad had said the right thing. He might just as easily have ripped off herclothes and raped her. But then in all honesty I had to admit that that wouldn'thave been possible. Rimilian customs demanded courtesy from a man whendealing with a woman who wasn't his. He was only free to rip and rape after thewoman was given to him.Strangely enough, the other women fa the room began drifting over, keeping mebusy for a while with introductions. Then the women had Tammad surrounded,and he was busy being courteous. He seemed to be enjoying himself so much thatI walked away from the throng to sit down. 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 55 
Terry, that wasn't very fair of you," Allynson Scoville scolded gently as he cameup to me. "Bringing a man like that to a party almost guarantees that the othermen will sit alone. Shame on you."Tin a ba-a-d girl,"I answered unsympathetically. "How have you been doing,Allyn?""Well enough." He nodded amiably as he sat down near me. "I must complimentyou on your outfit tonight, my dear. The stark simplicity of it is very stirring.Would you like to go to a real with me later on this week? I understand there aresome good ones about these days.""I think I've had enough of reals for a while," I answered,brushing at my hair. "Have you any idea about what's beenhappening with Jan? She called me this morning and I almostdidn't know her." ' "I haven't the faintest," he said, shaking his head. "Rod called me with theinvitation, and he seemed a bit strange, too. I imagine that's why everyone is hereso early—they want to hear about this magnificent revelation.""Well, they'd better get down here soon," I muttered, look­ing back toward theparty room's entrance door. "I've never been to Jan's private part of the house, butif they take much longer, that's just where I'm going.""You'd better have patience, Terry," Allyn cautioned, bringing my attention backto him. "This is not a situation we've ever come across before. Well all find out about it eventually, but right now the music is lovely. Would you care to dance?" 
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Allyn had always been a good dancer, and I almost ac­cepted before rememberingthat Tammad was there, too. I enjoy dancing, and had no intentions of ruining thatenjoy­ment by being forced to dance for a barbarian."Some other time, Allyn," I answered, shaking my head. "'I'm too upset rightnow." He nodded hi understanding and sat back, and we contin­ued to chat for a while.A few of the other men came over, asking who the stranger was, and 1 repeatedmy explanations. They nodded too and glanced over at the knot around Tam­mad,but made no move to join them.A few more people showed up, two of the women going over to the others aroundTammad. They'd urged Tammad into a chair out of respect for the cricks in theirnecks, and 
sharon green 
were taking turns trying to get his attention. Tammad himself had a slightlyamused smile on his face, as if he were used to having women throw themselvesat him. The whole thing irri­tated me, so I looked away and didn't look back.The soft music that had been playing since I'd arrived trailed off and then stoppedaltogether. No one noticed it at first, but when they did the buzz of conversationgrew louder. Music was rarely interrupted at a party until the party was over.Vera appeared next to me and started to say something, but she was interrupted bythe arrival of our host and hostess. Rod came in first, dressed in a deep blueformal suit with wine red ascot, and he paused hi the doorway with fists on hips tolook around. He was a big man, broad shouldered and hefty, but as a man, RodmilHolper had never appealed to me. His narrow, dark eyes rested briefly on Vera,shifted slightly to me, and a hint of amusement showed on his lips. He glancedaround at his silent guests again, then laughed shortly."I'm glad to see you're all here," he said in a superior way. "And so early, too.Well, you won't regret it. Jan."At the flat-voiced summons, Janverin EHiott appeared, making me gasp alongwith everyone else. Jan was a big woman, taller and broader than either Vera orme, usually flaunting her size. She normally wore high heels, high-piled hairstyles, wide, flowing outfits, matching them all with quick-tempered, sweepinggestures and moods. But the Jan­verin Elliott we all knew so well wasn't there.Instead, we saw a woman with nothing left of her former pride. Her black hairhung loosely above the thin, short, cut-out gar­ments that was her only clothing,and when Rod said her name she hurried to kneel before him, pressing herforehead to the floor. We were all speechless at this terrible servility, and Rodlaughed again."As you can see, friends, Jan has learned what will please me. Let's see how Jan 
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feels about it." He reached down and pulled Jan up by her hair, then slapped herface so bard that blood appeared in the corner of her mouth. "What do you say,Jan? Do you want me to turn you loose?""No, Rod, please!" she begged, quivering with emotion, but seeming to be afraidto touch the man who held her so cru­elly. "Please keep me as your woman. I'venever known such happiness as that which I've known as your woman. You've 
TOE WARRIOR WITHIN 57 
taught me what being a woman really means, and I'll devote my life to you ifyou'll let me."Rod let go of her hair and she slid down to grasp his ankles, kissing them andpressing her face on thqm. Vera was very quiet beside me, but I felt sick to mystomach. "You see?" Rod asked the other men smugly. "She knows when she's well off.And the same can be accomplished with any woman if you just bother to try.Watch." He looked toward the doorway and we all followed his gaze to see Guylor Suttonstanding there. Guy wasn't as big as Rod, but they both had the same narrow-eyedlook and were close friends. Beside me, Vera began shivering.Guy entered the room and stopped about five feet from Vera, his eyes angry asthough he had been deeply insulted."Verasten Hardy, your time has come," he said hi an ugly voice. "Place yourselfbefore me in the correct manner." Vera shuddered, her eyes and fists closed tight, and I quickly put my arms aroundher. "Guylor Sutton, you leave her alone!" I snapped. "I dont know what sickness hasgotten into all of you, but Vera wants no part of it. Leave her alone, I say!"Guy's lips tightened, but Rod kicked Jan away from him and came to stand nearGuy,"Terrillian Reya," Rod said, looking me over in a way I didn't like. "You'reanother one who needs to be taught bow to be a woman. You'll stay with us, andJan will show you what to do to avoid the lash—or usually avoid it Whipping youwill be a pleasure."He was nearly drooling as he discussed his twisted expecta­tions, and I had neverbeen so repelled by anything or any­one."You are sick," I told him coldly, holding Vera even more tightly. "What's thematter, Rod, can't you cope with a woman who isn't a slave? Can't you face her ifshe isn't grov­eling at your feet? Can't you realize your masculinity without a whipin your hand? Treating Jan like that doesn't make you a man, Rod! It makes you aself-professed coward!" 
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Rod's face had twitched at everything I'd said to him, but the last word was morethan he could stand. He snarled word­lessly and came forward to hit me the wayhe'd hit Jan. I put my arm up to ward off the blow, but it never reached me.Tammad was suddenly there between us, and he lifted Rodmil Holper by the frontof his suit. He lifted the man 
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clear off the floor and threw him, easily and without effort, into the wall ten feetaway. Rod struck the wall with a thud, slid down to the floor, then looked up atTammad with a dazed but fear-filed stare. "She is correct," Tammad told Rod calmly, staring downat him without expression, but with a definite tinge of disgustto his voice. "Only darayse cause pain to women without rea­son. The womaa learned nothing through the pain you gaveher, and no true man could be tempted by a slave such asher. To raise your hands in such a manner to another manmay gain you the name of warrior; to raise your hands hisuch a manner to a woman gams naught but shame. It is timeto depart" /The other people in the room shook themselves, as if com­ing out of a daze. Theybegan filing past Rod, who was still on the door with Jan crying hi a heap nearhim, and none of them said anything or looked at the couple on the floor. When Ibegan urging Vera out of the room, Guy tried to get in our way, but Tammad justbrushed him aside so that we could leave. Once outside, I tried to talk Vera into coming home with me, but the night airseemed to have braced her. She straightened up, brushed at her hair, and smiledweakly.Thanks anyway, Terry," she said and patted my shoulder. '"You've done enough,and believe me, it helped. I'm not afraid of Guy any longer, because now I knowthat he can't do that to me unless I let him. And I'm not going to let him! I'm goingto stay with some friends for a while, and if' Guylor Sutton shows up, Til call thepeacemen."She ended with an emphatic nod of her head, marched to her speedster, climbedin, and flew away. I watched until she'd disappeared into the distance, then lookedback at Tan's house. "You cannot aid the other," Tammad said quietly, almost reading my thoughts."She wishes to remain as she is, and will not allow you to help.""But why?" I asked him, really needing an explanation. "Why should she want tolive like that?" "She does not care to direct her own destiny," he said, looking down at me and 
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brushing the hah* from my cheek. "She will accept the abuse of the non-manbecause she be­lieves him to be stronger than she. If he were truly stronger, 
TEE WARRIOR WITHIN 59 
lie would force her to do the right, not the pleasurable. Let us return home."I looked away from Mm, back toward the home again, feeling very reluctant toleave Jan like that She had been a friend of sorts for a long time, but the choicewas taken from me. Tammad lifted me in his arms, carried me to my speed­ster,and thrust me into the hatch. "You can do nothing further, so let us be gone," he direct­ed, slapping my bottomto move me out of the way. "I would be beyond the necessity for flying throughthe air as quickly as possible.""I'm calling the peacemen as soon as I get home," I de­cided as we both strappedin. "If they detain Rod, Jan will have a chance to. ., .""You shall not," he said, giving me a disapproving look. "The woman has chosen her lot in life, and cannot be taken from it save through her own will. If she doesnot feel death preferable to slavery, slavery is the proper place for her.""You'd never say that if you were the slave!" I snapped. "Wouldn't you wantsomeone to come and help you?""One cannot free a slave," he answered, still patient, but just barely. "Likewise,one cannot enslave a free man. The former may bs unshackled, but will soon seeka new master to serve; the latter may be weighted down with chains, but can neverbe made to bend the knee. Think upon that, woman, as you take us home."I started the speedster and got us airborne, but I still didn't care for what he'd said.Jan was no natural born slave; all she needed was a little help. The peacemenwould help her, and she would be fine again.By the time I rolled into my hangar, I'd long since made up my mind. A call to thepeacemen would harm nothing, and Jan would one day be grateful. I followedTammad to the speedster hatch, but instead of lifting me down, he took me by thewaist, put me over his shoulder, and proceeded to carry me into the house."What are you doing?" I demanded of him. "Put me down immediately!""I shall not," he answered without even slowing. "I see by your face that you aredetermined to court a further switching. I shall save you from it by occupyingyour time with other things." 
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"Barbarian!" I screamed. "Let me go!" But he didn't. He carried me to mybedroom, stripped the wrappings from me, and showed me what other things hemeant. By the time he was through with me, I hadn't the strength left to walk to 
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the call. 
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I glared at Tammad over breakfast, but he just gazed back at me in amusement."Why do you thus look upon me?" he asked innocently. "Have I done somethingamiss?" "Everything you do is amiss!" I countered, wishing looks could kill. "Don't evenspeak to me!""Words are not necessary between a man and his belong­ing," he murmured,stroking my arm with his finger. I pulled my arm away as if it had been burned,and he laughed out loud. "Woman, it is not me you fear, but yourself. Was it notclear, but moments ago, that the fire burned high hi you? That I took you andcooled your fire should not make you angry.""The only thing you take is advantage of me!" I said, try­ing to crumple the eatingprong in my fist. "I never invited you into my bed, and a gentleman would knowwhen he wasn't wanted. But, of course, I forgot You don't even know the meaningof the word, 'gentleman'!""Exceedingly strange," he sighed, applying himself to his food. "Perhaps youractions will become understandable when we have reached Rimilia. On this world, many things are unclear to me."I began to assure him that he would never understand me, when the visitor flashshowed on the wall board. I left the food I had no real desire for, and went downramp to see who had come into my hall. Sandy Kemper stood there, anuncomfortable expression on his long, thin face. 
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"Well, well," I drawled, folding my arms as I stopped in front of him. 'To what
wondrous good fortune do I owe this visit? If you've come to take the barbarian
back, please, be my guestl"
"Now, Terry, I'm sorry about what's happened," he mumbled, "but it wasn't really
my fault. I did tell you to go home, you know. If you had, you would not have
gotten in­volved."
"I wouldn't have gotten involved if I could have stayed asleep," I snapped.
"Whose fault do you think that was?" 
He looked even more uncomfortable, then glanced past my shoulder. "Ah, 

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Tammad," he said in relief, "I came to give you a message from Murdock. Doyou have a moment?""Of course," Tammad answered as he came up to us. I no­ticed that he had hisswim trunks on again, but was eyeing my sleep suit with considerably moredisfavor than he had been showing. "Go you back to your food, woman. This talkdoes not concern you.""How would you know?" I countered. "You haven't even heard what he has to say.""I do not need to hear," he answered. "Should some part of it concern you, youwill be told." "Ill just save you the trouble and stay around anyway," I said, feeling the itch ofanother hunch. "Go ahead, Sandy, get it said."Sandy seemed upset, but Tammad didn't hesitate. He lifted me off the floor underone great arm, carried me back upramp, and found the switch where he'd left itBy the time he returned to Sandy, I was long since reduced to tears and sobbing.The switch is a painful instrument of teaching, and the barbarian's arm hadreminded me that he would stand only so much of my disobedience before thelesson was taught again. The second switching was more painful than the first,and I had no curiosity about a possible third.I had nearly made up my mind to run away no matter what the consequences,when Tammad came back. He stood over me as I lay face down on a bed that wasdamp from my tears, and studied me. At last, he shook his head."In truth, the beating should not have been yours," he said, almost in disgust. "Didyour life not hinge upon your heeding of my word, I could not fault you for youractions. How else could you be, living your life among darayse?"
1 sniffled and stared at him, and he crouched down to 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 63 
smooth my hair. "The Sandy Kemper asked what I had, done to you to make youscream so. When I'explained what I had done, and why it was necessary, a ragefilled him. None but a barbarian would treat a Prime so, he shouted. A Prime was to be spoken to gently and persuaded, he insisted. And what, asked I, if shecannot be persuaded? Is her life to be lost should my tongue fail to be glibenough? He refused to con­sider this, maintaining only that a Pride is not to betouched. When he spoke his message and left, I was pleased to see him go.""What makes you so sure that you're right?" I demanded weakly with a sniff."I've never been beaten before in my life, yet I've managed to survive!""You were not upon Rimilia," he said. "Therein lies the difference. But fear not,woman. I shall not save you from the lesser pain and allow you to be lost to thegreater. I shall return you to your embassy as you will leave it. You may rest now 
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until the soreness has passed."He stood straight again and left the room, graciously al­lowing me to rest. He wasso sure that his way was best, so sure that I'd never survive without him. He, whohad knowledge of no more than his one, small world, knew that I, who had visiteddozens, would never survive! I was furious at that, furious that he considered himself so much better than I, furious that hi his imagined superiority he dared tobeat me. I resolved to teach him that he was wrong, to shame him as he hadshamed me. I didn't know when, but I knew I would do it. He left me alone that day, coming for me only when it was time to eat. I servedhim first, but was unable to sit at the table with him, instead carrying my plateback to my bed­room to eat, belly down, like an animal.I was about to leave the kitchen with the last meal of the day, when the callsounded. Without thinking, I waved my hand in acknowledgment, and MurdockMcKenzie's face ap­peared on the screen."Ah, Terrillian," he said, his cold, narrow face wearing the faintest of smiles, "I'mpleased to see you looking so well."I blushed in embarrassment even though I knew he could see nothing more thanmy head and shoulders. The barbarian had stripped off my sleep suit to beat me,and I hadn't dressed again.
"Sandros was most concerned about you," he continued 
64 sharon green 
smoothly. "He insisted that you were being mistreated abomi­nably, and that Iwas to do something at once. Tammad, my friend, have you been mistreating ourPrime?" "I have been teaching her obedience," Tammad answered in a neutral tone,looking straight at the call. "It is something that should have been done sooner.""I'm afraid I'm forced to agree with you." Murdock nodded with a rueful smile."She is a most disobedient child, and is sorely in need of strict guidance. For hersake, I wish you success.""The Murdock McKenzie need have no fear," Tammad murmured, showing afaint grin, knowing then that he wasn't being criticized. "She shall be taught thatwhich she needs to know." "Good*" Murdock nodded again. "And when you go to­morrow to register for thevoyage, have her show you Tallion City. You may not have the opportunity to seeit again.""I shall do so," Tammad agreed. "The Sandy Kemper felt she knew the locationof where we must go. Is this true?"
"It is," Murdock said. "Have you told her yet?""She will know when she must know," Tammad answered. "There is time yet for 
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the telling.""As you wish," Murdock agreed, then moved his eyes back to me. "Terrillian,you'd do well to be on your best behavior. Tammad is not to be gotten around aseasily as Sandros—or Jackson. Perhaps you've already discovered this?""Instead of answering, I waved my hand and cleared the call without firstannouncing my intention. Murdock McKen­zie was enjoying my torment, wasgloating over my helpless­ness. When I returned from Rimilia a free womanagain, I would have my revenge on him. Rathmore Hellman was keenly aware ofall disservices done him, but also habitually acknowledged good turns. When Iwas successful, I would ask a favor. I retired to my bedroom again to consider what I'd re­cently learned. There wasonly one "voyage" Tammad would be taking, so he was soon to return to hisplanet. If we were to register for the flight in Tallion City, he was no longer anunregistered alien to be hidden away. Also, the flight would take place withinthree days, reservations never being taken earlier. I was not unhappy at thethought of leaving Central; on the contrary, I wished the business over and donewith. 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 65 
Since we first had to leave before I would be free to return, I was anxious to be started. The barbarian said nothing to me about our visit to Tallion City until the next day.At the first meal, he calmly an-nounced our destination and handed me a sheet of paper."The writing contains your instructions," he said. "Read them well and dressyourself, for I would leave as soon as possible."I glanced at the paper, confirming my guess that he was to continue as "myassociate from Dremmler's sector," and also to see what flight we were to bookon, then handed it back without comment. The barbarian narrowed his eyes at me."Have you no further need of it?" he asked with something like suspicion. "Noquestions on our destination?""We leave for your world within three days." I shrugged. "What more do I needto know?" He stared briefly at me, then nodded his head. "It is no less than I would expectyou to know. Dress yourself then, and let us be about it."We both dressed, he in a casual, dark gray coverall, I in a knee-length, fittedsmock, then went again to my speedster. The trip to Tallion City was of its usuallength, and I had little difficulty in finding the flight reservations office. I hadbeen there before, but not often and not lately. Prime assign-ments generallyrequire special and immediate transportation. 
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Tammad and I were assured our cabins aboard a medium-sized transport thatwould leave Tallion City Outer Port late the following day, and I was then free toshow the barbarian around the city. People come to rubberneck at Tallion Cityfrom all over Central, but why they do it is completely be­yond me. There arevery few Neighborhoods anywhere on the planet that don't think of Tallion City aspurely, basi­cally, evil, as most of Central is more backward than one wouldimagine possible. Our distant citizens want nothing whatever to do with people ofother worlds, unless they, themselves, choose to do the traveling, and visitingcitizens of other worlds have even found themselves locked up if they dared toventure beyond Tallion City and its immediate Neighborhoods. More than a fewNeighborhood Chairmen have been chosen for their posts because of outspokenlyfirm stands against Tallion City and its "unnatural" practices, and once a year,representatives from most Neighborhoods descend on the city demanding to knowwhat is being done to 
sharon green 
save our planet from the savages and barbarians who are lined up waiting toinvade and pervert us. All planetary gov­ernmental offices were located in thecity, and governmental employees tended to live in and around the city, just sothey could live the sort of peaceful lives they prefer. Casual al­liances betweenmen and women aren't permitted in other Neighborhoods, and if a cohabitationagreement isn't firmly in evidence, the guilty couple is immediately ejected—it they're lucky. If they aren't lucky, they might find themselves the unwaveringobjects of Peacemen attentions, and thereaf­ter find .themselves explaining to atotally unsympathetic Neighborhood Chairman why they should not be punishedin some way for their inexcusably heinous behavior. Natives of Tallion City tendto avoid non-natives, but it isn't always pos­sible, especially when those non-natives come thronging to sightsee in total disapproval. Nothing about our cityappeals to them, but they continue to come in their hundreds and thousands,frowning and shaking their heads and spending as few of their Earning Pluses aspossible.That day was no different from any other, and the bar­barian and I spent hoursfighting our way through the crowds. I was asked why this and why that so manytimes that I lost count, eventually taking to answering as mechani­cally andshortly as possible. Why were people given numbers when joining buyingaudiences? Why was merchandise dis­played on a large screen in the center ofeach category buy­ing room? Why were harmless animals kept behind forcescreens where people stared at them? Why were there no greetings exchangedbetween people? How did one buy things when no one seemed to have dingal I answered in desper­ation that people were given numbers so that they would be 
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identified when ordering merchandise, that the merchandise could be more easilyseen by all when displayed on the screen, and still not be shopworn, that most ofthe animals behind the force screens were far from harmless, and even if theyweren't, no one wanted them wandering around loose, that people exchangedgreetings only with those whom they knew, and most of the people around uswere strangers to each other, that one bought things with credit issued by thegovernment, the same amount issued to all; the only time ex­tra needed to be spentwas when someone wanted something that wasn't considered a necessity, and thenEarning Pluses, issued for necessary work done for Central central, were 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 67 
used. We went from place to place, and Tallion Central Ex­change, two mileshigh and half a mile broad, impressed my guest no end, but I haven't much of thesightseer in my soul. Museums and art exhibits held no interest for him, andriding the various speed slidewalks is a necessity, not an entertain­ment. I finallypurchased a late meal for us in an eating place open to anyone, then suggestedthat we return to my home."I would see more of this city first," Tammad decided with a shake of his head ashe examined the multicolored decora­tions and listened to the loud, blaringmusic with what was obviously approval. "Never have I imagined such thingscould be. Also, I have seen no saddle animals about. For what reason, then, are those watering places hi so many loca­tions?""Those aren't watering places," I told him with a yawn. "They are decorativefountains, to be lopked at and appreco- ated, not used and dirtied.""The desert dwellers of Hamarda would use them well." He grinned, leaning hisarms on the small table between us. "Their beasts would roll beneath the spray, aswould the no­mads themselves. They worship the fall of rain from the skies,reveling for days after such an occurrence. One may know the timing of suchrains from the spate of nomad brats dropped at the end of their women's cycles.""Fascinating," I commented, sipping at my wine. After a day of Seeing TallionCity, I'd needed the wine as never be­fore.''"There is one thing you must show me," he continued, a little too casually. "Ihave twice now heard mention of that which are called 'reals.' The men who offered these to you seemed anxious that you accompany them—for a reasonwhich I believe may be all too clearly seen."He was rating me with his eyes again, but this time there was disapprovalinvolved, perhaps at the idea that others found me attractive. I didn't understandhis attitude, but that didn't stop me from resenting it."Well, whatever their reason," I said frostily, "at least they asked, not demanded. They don't consider a woman theirs for the taking." 
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"Perhaps they spend too much time in the asking," he mur­mured, staring at mefrom below half closed eyes. "I have 
sharon green 
not seen many children in this magnificent city of yours. Are the children keptelsewhere?" "Some of them," I answered, looking away from him. "Having children is out offashion these days, for the most part. People are too busy to be bothered withchildren." "I see," he said quietly—and somehow I felt that he did! see—and then changedsubjects again. "Where are these reals kept and how does one use them?""You experience them, not use them!" I snapped, annoyed again by his superiormanner. "And I don't know if you would be capable of experiencing them. Yourmind may not be able to make the adjustment.""We will soon know," he said, rising to his feet. 'Take me there."He stood there tall and strong, already having given his or­ders, now waiting onlyto be obeyed. Familiar fury rose in me, but I didn't let any of it show."If that's what you want," I said, "that's what you'll get." I finished my wine in aswallow, then led the way without ob­jection to a slidewalk. The idea must havebeen growing in me for some time, as there was no need to stop and think it out.Unhesitatingly, I chose the slidewalk that would take us to Bend Five.There was a different greeter at the door of the house, and that made mattersconsiderably easier. I requested private ac­commodations, handed over a block ofEarning Pluses, then followed the guide to the room. By thanking the guidequickly and closing the door in his face, I avoided any ex­traneous commentsabout who should sit where. Tammad looked about at the almost bare room and was not impressed."The couches are not comfortably wide enough for two," he observed. "There islittle else to be done here." "Appearances can be deceiving," I remarked with a small smile. "Take the couchon the right."
He stretched out carelessly on the couch, supremely confi­dent that there wasnothing there that could touch him or harm him; I lifted the headset of contactsand handed it to him. "Place that on your head just as I gave it to you," I direct­ed, picking up the otherheadset and sitting down with it. "As soon as it's on, close your eyes."He glanced at the contacts, still suspecting nothing, then reached up to positionthem. I quickly separated out two of 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 69 
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the contacts from my own headset and placed them to my head.Although the real sprang immediately into my mind, I could still see Tammad onhis couch. I bad no intention of submerging myself in a man's role, and I wantedto see the barbarian's reactions. He lay on the couch, much too large for it, andfrowned. In my mind, / watched from the anonymity of the giant frees as the big, blondegirl looked around hesitantly in the clearing. I knew myself to be bigger yet, bigand male and all-powerful, and I knew that the helpless female soon would bemine. Although I was not fully experiencing the real, the compulsion of it wasalmost overpowering.
The blonde female turned to go back to the strange thing she had emerged from,and I moved quickly to head her off. She looked around as she hurried, and I wasable to put my­self directly in her path before she saw me. She stopped abruptlywith a scream, covering her mouth with her hand, and looked up into my eyes.She recoiled from what she saw there, cringing back, but I didn't wait any longer.I threw her immediately to the ground, shoved her over onto her face, then tiedher wrists tightly behind her.
Tammad moved slightly on his couch, a deep frown on his face, flexing fists. Hewould be experiencing the helplessness and terror of a small female subjected tothe brutality of a much larger male. He would know the reality of it, and later hewould know the shame. 
The blonde female screamed and cried out in an unknown tongue, but it madelittle difference. She was mine now, and I lifted her struggling but negligibleweight to my shoulder, then returned to the home-forest. The presence of thegreat trees comforted me, telling me that I, too, was undefeatable and eternal. Ifound my way easily to the tree that sheltered me, then climbed to my limb in theusual manner. My trunk dwelling was a welcome sight, and I put the fe­male in a far corner of it.She had stopped screaming, but looked about herself in great fear. She was verybeautiful, and her beauty drove me to hunger for her. I went again to the outerlimb to pull up my vine and coil it, then returned to my blonde female. She gaspedand quivered at the sight of me, and f knew a moment of curiosity."From which tree do you come?" I demanded of her. "Are there other suchfemales in your tribe?" 
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She responded in a low, fear-filled voice, but spoke nothing I could understand.Anger touched me then, and I struck her, taking her by the hair to force her toface me. 
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"From which tree do you come?" 1 demanded again. "What of the other femalesin your tribe?"She screamed out in the tongue I didn't know, and 1 could smell the fear on her.She was worthless to tell me what 1 wished to know, but she had other worth. I released her hair and turned my attention to her covering, but could not dis­coverthe opening of it. Impatiently, I tore it from her, and she lay before me, the swellof her breasts, the turn of her hip, all calling to me and heating my blood.As from a distance, I heard her unknown words again, but cared nothing forthem. Her body was mine to conquer and use, mine to pleasure in, mine to do withas I wished. She tried feebly to resist me, but her resistance was as nothing. Ivented my need upon hef and forced her to my pleasure.
I gripped the edges of the couch with tightened fingers, watching Tammad. Hisexpression was hopeless and wild, and he writhed as if to escape from someunbearable sensa­tion. I knew what he was feeling and I was glad he felt it, gladthat the mighty barbarian had been reduced to a whim­pering pleasure toy. Iwithdrew most of myself from the real and watched Tammad writhe.When the brutal assault was complete, I removed the con­tacts from both of us. Ihad accomplished my aim, and had no intentions of burning either of us out. It'spossible to switch sexes in reals, but it isn't recommended. It produces anunnatural strain that I'd never understood until right then. I felt drained in some strange, undefined way, and I didn't like the lingering effects in my mind. I had nonormal desire to rape anyone, and the residual urge toward it was very unset­tling.In a number of minutes Tammad opened his eyes, but they weren't focused. Hegroaned as if he still felt the pain of his taking within him, and I wondered how ithad seemed to him. I'd had sex with men before him, and for me the differ­ence was one of intensity and volition. For him, it was an en­tirely alien experience, atrue virgin rape. What would it do to a man to be taken like a woman?I was beginning to think about Rathmore Hellman's dis­pleasure when Tammadsat up and shook himself. He got un­steadily to his feet and shook Ms head again,as if to clear 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 71 
away the aftereffects of a nightmare, but when I looked up into his eyes, I couldsee that he wasn't entirely returned. I didn't relish the thought of taking him backto my speedster across the slidewalks, so I called for a guide, told him that myfriend had taken suddenly ill, and asked for an emergency lift to my parkingbuilding.The operator of the emergency lift helped me get Tammad settled in myspeedster, and I flew directly back to my house. The greeter and guide at the realhouse had stared at us sus­piciously as we'd left, but they could hardly ask any 
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ques­tions. They let us leave unmolested, and were probably hoping that nothingwould come of the incident. I rolled my speedster into the hangar, wondering how I was to get the barbarianinto my house. Without the help of the lift operator, I never would have gottenthe giant into my speedster to begin with. I turned the engine off, and only thennoticed the three men standing near the door to my house. Two of them cameforward immediately, entered the speed­ster, and went to the barbarian. I left thespeedster to them and went to face the third man, a coldly furious MurdockMcKenzie. "What sort of woman are you?" he demanded as I came up to him. "What sort ofwoman would subject a man to conscienceless indignity? How could youhave...." "Just as easily as you did!" I snapped, cutting off his tirade. "You gave me tohim, to be beaten and used by him, and it didn't bother you a bit! But now that your—friend— has had a taste of the same thing, you're up in arms. Well, that'stoo bad about you, but it's too late to stop it It's done and I'm glad!"His face twisted even more at the venom in my words, and his cold, grey eyesseemed made out of stone. 
"We shall see how glad you are if he can't be pulled out of it," he said in a low,deadly voice. "If I hadn't had you fol-lowed and watched, I would never haveknown about it. Stu­pid, vindictive woman!"He turned away from me then, dismissing my presence as he watched the twostrange men help Tammad out of the speedster. The barbarian moved as if in adream, causing the men to struggle to direct him. They took him past me into thehouse and down the hall to my party room, Murdock McKenzie followingpainfully behind them with his twisted body. The door was closed, shutting meout, but I didn't care. 
72 sharon green 
I didn't care if the barbarian never came back to himself! I ran upramp to mybathroom, bathed hurriedly, then went to bed. 
I struggled out of the dream, bathed in a sweat I couldnt control. I'd been lying inbed in my dream, and Tammad had come to me. I'd felt the fury I usually did,thinking he would use me as always, without my permission, but I'd been wrong.He lay in the bed next to me, staring at me fearfully, and he'd quivered andmoaned when I'd turned toward him. He lay stretched out flat, his hands behindhis head, but he wasn't relaxed. He was tense and almost terror-stricken, his hands not resting behind his head but almost chained there. I'd put my hand out to him,feeling revulsion and a strong sense of wrongness, and he'd whimpered and turned 
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his face away. I'd been sick then, knowing I'd destroyed the mighty barbarianforever. He'd never be the same, and it was my fault, my fault, my fault....The queasiness was too much to hear. I ran to my bathroom and threw up, guiltemptying me of everything within. I'd wanted to have vengeance on MurdockMcKenzie, using the barbarian to strike at him as he had used Tammad to strike atme. But Tammad was the one who had been struck, for no other reason than beinghimself. He behaved as a barbarian became he was one, and it was no fault of his. If he had been raised on Central, he would have been different When the spasms passed, I leaned weakly against the tub, transparented the wall,and looked out. The sky was dark with the loneliness of night, empty of the lifethat day seemed to bring. I hadn't lighted the bathroom so I sat hi the dark, in it butnot part of it. My loneliness was a separate thing and I'd never be free of the guilt Ifelt "The sunless time is for sleep," a voice said. "Why do you sit here awake?"I gasped at seeing Tammad in the doorway, then got quickly to my feet and ran tohim. "Are you all right?" I de­manded, my hands flat on his chest to prove tomyself that he really was there. "How do you feel? Are you—changed in anyway?""How would I be changed?" he asked in amusement. "I have spoken withMurdock McKenzie for a longer time than is usual, but such a thing has no powerto change me."
"But the real!" I insisted. "Didn't it hurt you?" 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 73 
'1 remember nothing of the real," he murmured, folding his mighty arms aroundme. "The experience was of so little consequence that it is gone completely. Whenthe next sun comes, you may remind me if you wish. For now, I have no desire fortalk." He picked me up and carried me to the bed, and my relief was so great that Ibarely resented his use of me. 
* 5 * 
I was annoyed, but I tried to control my annoyance. It wasn't Tammad's fault thathe was a barbarian. I knew it was my place to try civilizing him, but the job wasn'tgoing to be easy."You just cant, that's all," I said, trying to sound reason­able, "It isn't done onmost of Central, and people will be of­fended." 
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"How will my action with you offend others?" Tammad asked patiently. "I maydo as I wish with that which belongs to me.""But that's just the point!" I said in exasperation. "I do not belong to you, andthose people out there know it! If you try to make me sleep in your cabin, they'llcomplain to the cap­tain."We were aboard the Central Starshine, the transport that would take us to Rimilia,and we stood in my cabin. Tam­mad had had all memory of the real removed fromhis mind, and Murdock McKenzie had called before we'd left for the Port to tell me how lucky I was. I'd listened to the first of his words coldly, and then had cutthe call the way Td done the time before. Murdock McKenzie had nothing to saythat I cared to hear. My cabin was right next to Tammad's, one of twenty around the circle of themiddle deck. The center of the middle deck was devoted to tables for eating andcouches for socializing, and was spacious enough for a medium-sized transportWith the crews' quarters above on the control deck, and the cargo below on thelower deck, the passengers could 
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spend their travel time undisturbed by anything other than minding everyoneelse's business. "Of what will they complain?" Tammad the Innocent asked. "I do not take anywomen to my cabin but my own.""It's not the men who will be doing the complaining," I said sharply, annoyed allover again that he still considered me his woman. "Didn't you see how thatPaulamin Tumley looked at you? She's a Neighborhood Chairman in her dis­trict,and the other passengers look up to her. She already disapproves of you ongeneral principles—the rest of Central is much more provincial than Tallion City.If she sees you taking me to your cabin, she'll explode.""This is not clear to me," he insisted, shaking his head. "The woman can saynothing on the actions of a warrior. Is this captain a warrior that he will fight mefor possession of you? Do you fear that I will lose you to him?"I groaned feelingly, then threw myself on my bed. The legs of the bed weresecured so tightly to the deck that the bed didn't even quiver. "You're a barbarianand can't be blamed for your lacks," I recited, trying to keep the thought firmly inmind. "You know nothing about the workings of civilization, and I haven't thetime to teach them to you. We will each sleep in our own cabins, and do nothingto upset Paulamin Tumley. It will be hard staying inconspicuous if I have to usemy Prime status to counter her narrowmindedness.""Is this your word on the matter?" he asked in amusement, coming over to 'sit on 
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the bed next to me. "Will you punish me if I fail to obey you?""'You cant refuse to do as I say," I insisted, starting to sit up again, but I found myhair tight in his grasp, which kept me firmly in place. I reached up to see if I couldloosen his fingers, and my wrists were abruptly held instead."No, you may not refuse to do as / say," he corrected softly, those blue eyesdirectly on me. "It is a warrior's place to say a word, a woman's place to obey thatword. Do you again wish to disobey me?""You're impossible!" I snapped with resentment, com­pletely out of patience. "Idon't know why I bothered. If you want to tangle with Paulamin Tumley, go rightahead. People like her never learn anything, and they never change their minds. Ihope you end up in the brig.""Should that eventuate," be said, grinning, "you will yet be with me. I know notthe meaning of 'brig,* but I will require 
76 sharon green 
my woman wherever I be. What is the meaning of that sound?"He was talking about the gentle gonging that could be* heard from the one-wayon the walL "It's to notify passengers that food will be available five minutes fromnow," I told him. "We can go out now and get a table.""We may seek our table later," he said, stroking my side with his hand. "For now,I find that having discussed requir­ing a woman has given me hunger of adifferent sort I shall deal with this hunger first."He dealt with his hunger in the usual way, and I foundmyself wishing that at least some of the real had stayed withhim. His appetites were beyond the bounds of belief, andcould have done with a little trimming. Correction—a lot of trimming. < When my clothes were decently arranged once more, we went out to have ourmeal. As we stepped from the cabin, the eye of every person at every table turnedto stare at us, and each of those eyes was accompanied by a frown. I ig­nored bothfrowns and stares and followed Tammad to the one empty table in the area,discovering that the^ barbarian wasn't even aware of being stared at He sathimself with easy grace, not bothering to notice anyone hi the circle. I sat too,feeling the red flush on my cheeks in spite of everything I could do.The steward came and put our plates in front of us, then fetched a bottle of winewhich he poured for us. Tammad bent to his food as if famished, but as soon asthe steward was gone, Paulamin Tumley stood herself in his place. She was anicely built woman, with a pretty face and hair as blond as Tammad's, but herbrown eyes were cold and uncompromising, and her expression totallyunforgiving. 
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"You eat as if you've done something to acquire an appe­tite," she said frostily toTammad. "I'd better be wrong about what that something might be!"The barbarian looked up as if noticing her for the first time, and examined herwith his eyes just as if she hadn't in­troduced herself to us as soon as we'd comeaboard. She flushed slightly at his frank appraisal, and her eyes flashed fire anddestruction. "Answer me!" she snapped. "What were you and that girl doing alone together inthat cabin? We are all of us decent people here, and will not condone goings-on ofa lewd and 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 77 
lecherous nature! Tallion City is a hotbed of licentiousness, but we here will notbe contaminated! We demand to know about your conduct!"Tammad snorted in amusement, then started to laugh. He threw his head backand laughed as if touched, and Paulamin Tumley really turned red. She stoodwith her fists clenched and her lips clamped tight, furious at being laughed at. Iate my steamed baldivar in silence, watching the proceedings with interest.The irate Neighborhood Chairman finally grew tired of watching Tammad laugh,and turned on me. "I'll have my answer from you!" she said hi a choked voice."What went on between you and that—that—deficient?""Oh, I wouldn't dream of interfering with your conversa­tion with him," I saidaround a mouthful of haldivar. "You and he are establishing such alovely—rapport.""I will be answered!" she screamed, shaking her fists in the air.. "Come and standwith me, good people, and demand your right to know!"At her urging, the other passengers came to stand behind her. There were threeother women and fourteen men, and every one of them wore a grim, demandingexpression. Tam-rnad's laughter trailed off into chuckles, and then diedalto­gether."At last!" Paulamin said in triumph. "He ceases his cater­wauling and now,perhaps, will answer us. I repeat, man of iniquity—what were you doing hi thatcabin?" Tammad was looking around at the men behind Paulamin, ignoring hercompletely, then suddenly he was on his feet, no longer looking amused.
"A foolish woman is to be laughed at and overlooked," he announced hi a death-cold voice. "A foolish man is an en­tirely different matter. Do you men now stepto me and ask . what you will ask."
The men glanced at each other, shuffled their feet ner­vously, then backed away
to return to their tables. The three women hesitated no longer than the men,
having no inten­tions of standing there by themselves. In no more than a minute 

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or two, Paulamin was alone again. She looked around herself in disbelief, then
saw that Tammad was staring down at her.
"You don't scare me!" she said in a high, shrill voice. "Murder me if you will, but
my voice will never be stilled!" 

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"Woman, you are exceedingly foolish," Tammad said in annoyance. 'Takeyourself from my sight, else your voice will be raised at the urging of the flat ofmy hand. Too long has the man to whom you belong neglected yourpunish­ment."Paulamin turned pale and spluttered, trying, no doubt, to announce that never hadanyone had the effrontery to speak to her like that. Tammad took a step towardher, and her spluttering turned into squeaking as she moved fast to avoid him. Shescurried into the passage that led to the control deck, and Tammad came back tothe table. "Beautifully done," I commented as I took the last bite of my haldivar. "I wonderif you'll be as successful with the captain.""Keep silent," he said irritably, his eyes on his plate. "I have had enough offoolish women." I leaned back in my chair with a shrug, sipping my wine and watching him eat.He left his own wine standing where it was, not even tasted.Tammad had just finished eating when Paulamin reap­peared, leading the captainand two of his crewmen. The cap­tain was also a big man and, although not ofTammad's giant proportions, still a good size. He had some grey hi his dark, short­cut hair, but could not, by any means, be considered old. Paulamin led him, to ourtable, and pointed an accusing finger at Tammad."He's the one!" she shrilled. "He threatened me and every­one heard it! Arrestban, Captain, arrest him at once!""Calm yourself, Chairman Tumley," the captain soothed. "Ill soon find out whoshould be arrested. May I ask your name, sir?""I am called Tammad sek L'lenda," Tammad answered with his eyes on thecaptain, looking as if he'd bitten into something sour. The name I'd given himmeant, "Tammad, he who calls himself warrior," and it was something of anin­sult He disliked saying it, but Murdock McKenzie had told him that it was necessary."I see," the captain nodded. "Am I correct in assuming that the lady with you isTerrillian Reya?""She is," Tammad said with raised eyebrows. "You know of us?""I have spoken with, one Murdock McKenzie," the captain answered, his face stillexpressionless, but his eyes beginning 
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THE WARRIOR WITHIN 79 
to appear impressed. "It was requested that I give you and the Prime everyconsideration to make your trip a pleasant one. May I be of any service, sir?""I think not,", Tammad chuckled, looking at a stricken Paulamin Tumley, but thistime Paulamin was ignoring him. She stared at me with her mouth open until shefinally found her voice."You're a Prime," she whispered, blushing furiously. "You're a Prime and I spoketo you as if you were a nobody. I've never been so embarrassed in my life.""What matters if she be a Prime?" Tammad asked curi­ously. "Is a Prime unableto do that which you accused her of?""Dont be ridiculous!" Paulamin snapped, blushing even more deeply. "A Prunecan do anything she wishes to do. No one has the right to direct her. You couldhave said she was a Prime. Oh, how I hate you."She glared furiously at Tammad, then ran to the peace of her cabin. The captaintook a deep breath as he watched her go, then turned back to us."If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know," he said with a formal bowhi my direction. "I hope you enjoy the trip."He led his men back toward the passage to the control deck, and I rose from thetable, marched to my cabin, slammed the door, and locked it I was furious withMurdock McKenzie, and would have strangled him if he'd been in reach. Thenerve of him, protecting that barbarian with the prestige of my position as Prime! Ihated Murdock McKen­zie, I hated the barbarian, and I hated that stupid PaulaminTumley for idolizing me. I ignored the ringing at my door, undressed, then wentto bed alone. 
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I spent the balance of the four-day trip fa" my cabin, hav­ing my meals deliveredto me through the service slot. My door rang constantly in spite of the fact that Inever an­swered it, and the captain called on the two-way to inquire about myhealth. I informed the captain that I required time for meditation, cut off the two-way, then went back to brood­ing.
Everything that barbarian did turned out well for him. He was in control of everysituation and, what was infinitely worse, he was in control of me. As Paulamin Tumley had said, a Prime should be free to do anything that pleased her, but thebarbarian refused to see that. He stubbornly insisted that I obey him, that I servehis needs, whatever they were. That it did not please me was of no consequence to 
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him. . When we reached Rimilia he would undoubtedly beat me for locking him
out, but I was beyond caring.My small case of belongings was ready when the crewman came to carry it to thetransport's transfer slip. I followed along behind him, holding myself with calmdignity even in the face of the fact that the barbarian would be waiting for methere. The other passengers hovered just out of reach, staring at me and wavingslightly so that I might notice them and perhaps even nod. I nodded mechanically,too preoccu­pied to appreciate the attention, and then we reached the transfer slip.The barbarian was already seated in the slip, and he looked up as-1 entered. Inodded calmly to him and took my own seat around the circle, a seat slightlyremoved from his. 
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As we were the only ones going to Rimilia, I had my choke of seats. I watched thepilot take his place in the center of the slip so I didn't have to look at thebarbarian. The brief glimpse I'd gotten of him showed him looking not at allpleased.We grounded gently on Rimilia in spite of the pouring rain to be seen in the pilot'sscreens. A lone figure stood beside a ground vehicle, staring up at the slip, waitingpatiently for someone to emerge. Tammad was out of his seat immedi­ately,standing impatiently in front of the door ramp that the pilot hadn't yet opened. Itook my case and stood behind him, but somehow I had lost my calm and dignity.As soon as the door ramp was activated, Tammad sprang out into the rain. I wentmore slowly, grasping my case tightly, reflecting that the warmth of the rain didlittle to compensate for its drenching aspect. I was soaked through al­most as soonas I stepped out in it, my hair hanging in sop­ping strands down my back.I stopped two or three steps past the foot of the ramp to see that Tammad hadalready reached the man at the ground vehicle, and they were pounding each otherlike long-lost brothers. The other man was considerably smaller than thebarbarian, but he gave as good as he got. The door ramp to the slip retractedbehind me, the slip lifted into the air, then it was gone in the grey of the sky and Istood alone in the downpour. There was little sense in just standing there, so Jmade my way through the mud to the ground vehicle.The man gestured that we were to enter the vehicle, but as he and Tammadappropriated the front of it, I was relegated to the back. At that point it made littledifference, as any­thing out of that rain was welcome. I got in and pulled the doorclosed behind me, then turned to wring out my hair.'Terry!" said a deep voice I thought I recognized. "It cant really be you!" 
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"Why not?" I asked, looking into the amused eyes of Den-nison Ambler. "If the
inf amous Denny Ambler, sweetheart of the Diplomacy Bureau, can be exiled to
Rimilia, why should I be any different?"
"The same old Terry." He laughed, shaking his handsome, brown-haired head.
"You haven't changed a bit. Tammad, my friend, your cause, is won. With a Prime
like Terry to help you, there's nothing you can't do."

There's very little that he doesn't do now," I remarked, 
sharon green 
throwing my soggy hair back over my shoulder. "I find it in­conceivable that therecould be more." "Uh oh," Denny said, flinching a little at th6 coldness in my tone. "Don't tell meyou two don't get along? Tammad, what happened to the old charm? I thought allwomen found you irresistible?""All women save she who is my belonging," Tammad an­swered in a growl, hiseyes examining the landscape through the wide, front windshield. "House-gifts donot come properly trained on your world of darayse.""House-gifts?" Denny echoed. "How the hell was she— never mind. You can tellme the story later. Let's get over to the embassy and into some dry clothes firstDid I mention that I almost didn't recognize you in that snappy Central lei­suresuit? Tm not used to seeing you dressed up."Denny started the vehicle with a chuckle, and drove away from the clearedlanding area. We sloshed and splashed our way a short distance to the outskirts ofa dingy group of huts that materialized out of the rain. A right turn and anotherquarter of a mile took us to a large, two-story, typical em­bassy building. Dennydrove the vehicle down a ramp, causing a door to open in front of us. We enteredthe em­bassy's parking level, the door closed behind us, -and the rain was shutcomfortably out'I'll find a couple of rooms for you," Denny said as he turned the vehicle off."Your things are just as you left them, Tammad, all ready and waiting.""Good." Tammad nodded, unfolding himself carefully from the seat. "I ampleased to be home'again, and will be even more pleased to once again have roomto move myself. On your world, I always feared that something would break.Have you imad and caldin for the woman?" "Sure, she can have one of Asdir's," Denny answered ami­ably, stepping out of hisown door. "Asdir won't mind in the least since she'll then have an excuse to wheedle some new ones out of me. So our Prime will be traveling as a nativewoman, hm? What does she think about ft?" "She wasn't even consulted!" I snapped, getting out of the vehicle, too. "I broughtmy own clothes with me. Why should I have to wear someone else's blouse and 
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skirt?" "You will wear imad and caldin because you are instructed to do so," Tammadsaid, his eyes on me with more than slight annoyance. "Your lessons wereincomplete on your 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 83 
world, but we have now reached my world. Do you wish to disobey me?""Ah, let's go find those rooms," Denny interrupted hastily, taking my arm andleading off, but then he stopped suddenly, letting my arm go as if he thought I hadsomething con­tagious. He turned back to Tammad, and his face had a slightlyflushed look. "Excuse me, my friend," he said quietly. "Old habits die hard. I didn't mean totouch your belonging without permis­sion.""My friend Dennison need have no fear," Tammad an­swered just as quietly as hemoved to where Denny and I stood. "What is mine is his, and I would have himknow it." "I appreciate that," Denny said with obvious sincerity. "And I have a house-giftthat's been awaiting your return. Come and let me show it to you."Denny started for the ramp again, and Tammad followed behind him. Thebarbarian hadn't even taken his case of clothing from the transport, but then whyshould he have? He'd probably never wear civilized clothing again. I thought ofmy own case in the vehicle, then followed them up the ramp.The embassy visiting level was bright with intricate chande­liers, vibrant wall andfloor carpeting, luxurious furnishings, and well placed knickknacks. Denny kepthis dripping form away from all that, leading the way directly upramp to hisliving quarters. Less luxury and more livability prevailed there, and he threwopen the door of a room.'Terry, this is yours," he said. "Ill be back with something for you to wear as soonas I get Tammad settled. Help your­self to the hot bathwater."I nodded slightly and went on in, swinging the door shut behind me. The roomwas nice, but the yellow carpeting wasn't appreciating being dripped on, so t went through to the bathroom and stripped off my soggy clothes. I left them in a pile,stepped into the life-saving warm water in the tub, then transparented the wall.The rain was still coming down in a torrent, and there was nothing to see throughit After a while, I wrapped a towel around me and went back to the bedroom.Surprisingly, Denny was there, sitting' in a chair next to a table that held a pile ofclothes and a tray of food. 
sharon green 
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"About time," Denny observed when he saw me. "Didn't you get enough of
soaking outside?"
"It's not the same," I commented. "Is that supposed to be for me?"
"Nobody but" He grinned. "Something for both inside and out. I have to take care
of my favorite Prime."
I pulled a chair closer with a sigh and started to eat, and Denny frowned at me.
"What's the matter with you?" he demanded, putting his forearms on the table.
"You look like the living example of joy gone out of everything. It cant be that 
bad." 
"Why can't it be?" I asked, poking at the food. "Is there some law against it?"
"Come on, Terry," he urged, "snap out of it! This is a great world and you'll love
it! I doubt if 111 ever go back to Central even if Fm recalled."
"Fm glad somebody's pleased to be here," I muttered, still not looking at him.
"How long do you think it will take?"
"There's less than two weeks until the Great Meeting," he sighed, leaning back in
his chair. "Allow maybe another week for the meeting itself, plus your travel time
back here. Terry, what's wrong between you and Tammad? I thought everyone
would like him as much as I do." 
"You enjoy being raped by him?" I asked with raised eye­brows, finally looking at
him. "Well, each to his own." 
"That's not what I meant," he protested, flushing a little. "And Tammad doesn't
rape women—he just uses them the way they're made to be used."
"From my particular point of view, I fail to see the differ­ence," I said, finishing
the last of the food. It was strange, but oddly tasty. "And I also fail to appreciate
being beaten. Your good friend Tammad is nothing but a barbarian, and I wish I
were back on Central." 
"Stop feeling so sorry for yourself," he said, a definite fan-patience in his tone.
"You were never beaten in your life, and Tammad hasn't changed that A simple
switching or two is hardly likely to cripple you, and that man is used to having
obedience from the people around him. Just because you can't antagonize him the
way you do everyone else, doesn't mean it's the end of the world."
"A lot you know about it!" I snapped, standing up. "I'd love to see how you'd take 
to 'a simple switching or two'! And I don't antagonize anyone" 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 85 
"The hell you don't!" he snorted, looking up at me with the large, brown eyes thatmost women found so compelling. "Why do you think Murdock McKenzienicknamed you The Terror'? Everyone who knows you knows how fitting it is!Now that you're through eating, try these clothes on. I want to check the fit." 
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I pulled the clothes out of his hand and stormed into the bathroom, wordless withoutrage. So that's where that nickname had come from. Murdock McKenzie. Ishould have known! That was something else I would owe him for!The imad and caldin were like nothing in my entire wardrobe, and I didn't care forthem. The imad slipped on over my head and was slit up the sides, then tied with athin piece of leather at either side of my waist. The long sleeves of the thing wereslit too, all the way to the armpit, and were tied at the wrists with more leather.The caldin was very full, but fell without pleats from my waist all the way downto my ankles. It was tied with a sash at my waist, and was made of the same thinmaterial as the imad, although of a different color. The imad was a well-washed rose color, the caldin a dull gold. Nothing at all was worn under them, and I feltmore undressed than in a sleep suit I barely glanced at my­self in the mirror, thenwent back to Denny."They don't fit at all," I told him as soon as I walked out "If you don't haveanything better, I'll wear my own things.""You've got to be kidding," he grinned, getting up to walk all around me. "Theylook better on you than they do on Asdir. I've got half a mind to take Tammad upon his offer." "What offer?" I frowned, turning around to keep him in view. "And you keepmentioning Asdir, but you haven't said who she is.""She's my woman." Denny grinned. "A gift from her fa­ther who's head man inthat village near here. He also gave me a switch to go along with her, but I haven'thad to use it much. Her father trained her well." "No wonder you like it here!" I said, putting my hands on my hips. "You've gonenative. I never thought I'd live to see the day that Dennison Ambler went native.""Don't knock it if you haven't tried it." He laughed. "And I haven't gonecompletely native, or you would be flat on your back now. When Tammad saidthat what was his was also mine, he meant everything. These buskins will fit well too, but you won't wear them until the rain stops. Tammad 
sharon green 
can pack them in with everything else. Now put on the bands.""What bands?" I asked, looking around to keep from screaming. Denny hadbecome perfect as a friend for the bar­barian. They were more like brothers than Iwould have thought possible."Right here," Denny answered, picking up one of five, short, bronze-coloredchains. "Tammad said you're to be five-banded, and I agree with him. Men willmake offers for one-, two- and three-banded girls, and sometimes even for four-banded ones, but a five-banded girl has to be fought for. Not many men arewilling to face Tammad, not even for a green-eyed, dark-haired woman like you." 
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"You've got to be wrong," I said, shaking my head firmly. "I know about thecustom of banding, but I'm sure it's with ribbon or leather or some such. It cant bewith chain!" "But it is," he said patiently. "Here, this one goes on your ankle.""Not on my ankle!" I balked, folding my arms. "I'm a Prime, not a slave! Takeyour chains somewhere else!""Terry, don't be difficult!" he said hi exasperation. "You have to be banded ifyou're to travel as a native woman.""I don't see the burning need for that, either," I countered. "What's wrong with mybeing a sightseer of sorts? A visitor on vacation or something?""This isn't Alderan," he snapped. "They don't have tourist bureaus and guidedtours. And how close do you think a tourist would get to the Great Meeting? Useyour head, will you?""That's what I'm supposedly here for," I snapped back. To use my head, not to bechained." He opened his mouth again, but whatever he would have said was lost asTammad came hi. I stood and stared, be* cause the barbarian had gone through atransformation. Gone was the leisure suit as if it had never been. The giant stood in nothing butsome brown cloth wrapped around him from waist to upper thigh, his mightychest bare. On his hips was a broad, plain, leather belt, from which a large,sheathed sword hung to the left and a long, sheathed dagger to the right, and whenhe turned slightly to close the door, I could see a second dagger wedged into theback of his swordbelt He had leather wristbands, was as barefoot as I, and was al­together an unfamiliar sight 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 87 
He stopped briefly to examine me, then turned to Denay. "The imad and cddin suit her, my friend. If you can spare but one other of each, we will be on ourway.""That's no problem," Denny answered. "You're welcome to anything I have. The seetar is packed?""And the other saddled." Tammad nodded. "Some distance should be covered before dark. She has been fed?" "She has," Denny confirmed, "but there's still one problem* She won't wear thewenda bands." "The choice is not hers," the barbarian answered. "All seem much in awe of this woman who is called Prime, but here she is wenda and will wear the bands." He picked up the chains and came toward me, so I turned and ran to thebathroom, quickly locking myself in. There was nowhere else to go from there, 
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but that didn't matter. I was not going to be wearing chains.I'd started toward my wet clothes to see if they were at aH wearable, but there wasa sudden crash behind me and the splintered door flew open. Tammad strode inthrough the wreckage, grabbed my arm, and forced me to the floor. In spite of mystruggles the chains went on, one each on my ankles, one each on my wrists, andthe last, to my absolute fury, around my neck!When the last was closed, the barbarian pulled me to my feet again and draggedme by the arm out to a grinning Denny, who, with a folded bundle of cloth, waswaiting in the corridor. We went down to the visitors level and along a wide hallto the back of the embassy, then paused by a door.Denny and Tammad were saying good-bye to each other, but I paid no attention tothe farewell. I was examining the band on my left wrist with a mixture of fury anddespair. The chain was small-linked but strong, fitting too tightly to be slipped off.The ends of the chain had pieces that fit one in­side the other, but there was noway to release the catch. I strained at it with every ounce of strength I possessed,and the inside part moved very slightly. It came to me then that someone withTammad's strength could open it easily, but the accomplishment was far beyondthe strength of a woman. I wore wenda bands because I was wenda—a mere female— and would continue to wear them until they were removed by I'lenda. "Well, Terry, it was nice seeing you again," Denny said, taking me away from the-bands to realize that Tammad was 
sharon green 
no longer with Mm. The door stood open, and I could see the rain falling beyondthe overhang next to the building."But it's still raining," I said in confusion. "Aren't we go­ing to wait until itstops?""The rain may fall for some days yet," the barbarian said, coming back in time tohear my question. "We have a far distance to travel, and will therefore start atonce. Put this on." This" was a smaller version of something he already wore—a long ram cape ofsorts in a grey material. It went on over the head and was hooded, the hood beingdrawn closed with a strip of leather. The body of the thing hung down front andback, and was open at the sides where one's arms came through. Mine had anotherstrip of leather to close it tightly around me, but his hung loose and billowing. Iput it on without comment and went toward the door, but Benny's hand stopped me. "Take care," he said softly, "and may the sun shine on your undertakings. Fll seeyou when you get back."I stared at him for a minute, then went out into the rain, closing die door behind 
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me. I had nothing to say to Dennison Ambler.Tammad stood about ten feet away near two monstrously large animals. Theywere soft-hided rather than scaled, four-legged rather than bipedal, maned,hoofed, and tailed rather than feathered, and dead black hi color. I'd never seen any-thing like them before, so a closer description-by-analogy is impossible. Oneof them was piled high with a covered mound, but the other had a large saddle andintricate bridle. I walked closer to the barbarian who had swung up into the saddleand was adjusting one of the stirrups. Even he looked smaller on the back of themonster, and he glanced down at me."There's only one saddle animal," I said against the roar of the rain, closing myeyes most of the way to protect them while my face angled up. "Where's one forme to ride?" "You could not control a sector even were it fitting for wenda to ride one alone," he answered. "In clear weather you will walk in toy track, but for now you mayride behind me." He put his arm down to me, and all I had to do was reach up to be pulled into hissaddle. I was being offered the gener­osity of sharing I'lenda's saddle, the privilege of riding behind a mighty warrior, even though I was nothing more than a 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 89 
lowly female, mere wenda. I felt the symbolic weight of the five, bronze-coloredbands on my body, and turned away to walk behind the sector. I stood quietly thenwith my feet in the mud, saying nothing, waiting for him to get started.The barbarian had watched me walk away from him, but he hadn't said a word,either. When I stopped behind the seetar he reached over to the other one, pulledon the leather lead to make sure it was secure to his saddle, then kicked his mount to get it moving. I waited until the second seetar had passed, then started moving, too. We went along a pure mud road that circled the nearby village, and once we'dtopped a small rise, even the embassy was gone from sight. Walking was hard inthat downpour, through that mud, all alone, but I preferred it to riding. Thebarbarian pulled ahead at the pace I was forced to keep to, but I just kept walking.The time went by, and my world narrowed down to the next step I had to take.There was a dripping forest to the left of the road, grey, empty fields to the right,but I could no longer see them. I felt the rain on my head, shoulders, and back,and let it drive me along the mud of the road. One foot in front of the other, put itdown and watch the mud splash up, covering the ram cape and the very bottom ofthe caldin. Put the other foot down and watch it splash again, no pat­terns made orat least none seen. 
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It had gotten darker without my noticing it Everything was wrapped in dingy, greymist, and I might have been the only person in the world on the only road in theworld. Td long since pulled my arms in closer to my body, but I was begin­ning toshiver from the chill that crept into me hi spite of the rain cape. I felt damp allover, damp and chilled and all alone. My feet were covered to the ankles withmud, and the bronze color of the bands was completely gone. The bands at myankles were spattered with the mud, and I could almost pretend they weren't there.I reached my last step before I knew it. Fd been moving more and more slowly,but that was only because I was tired, not because I intended to stop. I watchedmy foot take a step and waited for the next step to come, but it never did. Myknees refused to keep stiffened and I went down in the mud, down on my kneesand hands. I felt depressed then, knowing I would have to stand up again before Icould go any farther. 
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I tried to stand up, tried to push myself out of the mud, but it was just too hard.The mud pulled at me; it would be so easy just to lie down and sleep. I knew I hadto go on, but it was much too hard. Better just to sink down into the mud and let go.Then I was out of the mud, lifted high in the air by two arms that barely felt myweight. The barbarian carried me to his seetar and mounted, placing me sidewayson the saddle in front of him. His left hand held the reins, but his right held metightly to him. I leaned on his chest, my cheek against his rain cape, and the seetar started moving. Once, he muttered, "Stubborn, foolish woman!" and held metighter. I said noth­ing.I must have slept briefly; when I opened my eyes we'd left the road for the forest.The seetar moved calmly along be­tween the trees, trampKng down anything thatgot in its way. I stirred against the barbarian, wanting to tell him to put me downso I could walk the rest of the way, but his arm tightened again, holding me still.It was dark there, under the dripping trees. The roll and creak of the sector's saddle kept putting me to sleep and wak­ing me up again even though I tried tostay awake. The bar­barian changed direction once or twice, following signs thatmy eyes couldn't see, then abruptly we came to a stop in front of a large, square,tent. The entire tent was roofed over and floored, but the front face of it was open.Halfway back, a fun wall of leather closed off the inside, a veranda of sorts beingformed by the rest I saw the other seetar, then, without its load, hobbled and tied to a tree. My progress along the road had been so rapid, then, that the barbarianhad had time to stop and put up his camtah before I'd come anywhere near. Iwanted to cry about that, but I was much too tired.The barbarian dismounted, then carried me to the veranda of the camtah. He had 
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to bend over to get under the roof, but he didn't put me down until we were insidethe camtah. He took the rain cape from me, then the imad and caldin; I was beyond struggling, but struggling wasn't necessary. There were large pieces ofthick, luxuriant furs on the floor, and once I was free of the mud-covered clothing,he put me on one of them and covered me with another. Immediately I felt warmand snug, and my eyes began closing hi earnest.
"Before you sleep, wenda," he said softly, bending over 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 91 
me, "there is a word I was told to say to you. The word means nothing to me, but
perhaps it has meaning for you."
He said the word and I heard it, but it didn't register In my consciousness. Then I
could fight the waves of exhaustion no longer and I slept. 

* 7 * 

When I opened my eyes, light streamed in from the camtah's leather curtain, and I 
could see that I was alone. There was a vast excitement within me, and I dressed 
quickly in the clean yellow imad and blue caldin near my furs, then went outside.
The sky was still grey through the trees, but the rain had stopped falling. The
barbarian was nowhere in sight, and one of the seetarr was gone, too. The other
stood hobbled and tied to a tree, grumbling to itself in vague annoyance. There
was a flying thing in the tree above it, waiting patiently for some­thing, and
another flying thing shied nervously in the air at the sight of the sector below the 
tree. 
The world was wonderful, and I gloried in being fully alive again. I strolled away
from the camtah, reaching out to the living minds around me, feeling their
emotions and experienc­ing them. The blindfold was gone, the earplugs were
gone, and I was whole once more, free to be what I was.
The ground was still soggy underfoot, but I didn't care. I walked on for a few
minutes, then finally stopped and leaned against the trunk of a tree, feeling the
clean breeze on my face, the rough bark against my back. The night before, the
barbarian had said the triggering word that released me from the repressive
conditioning that kept me from using my gift, from even knowing that I had it. All
XenoMediators had to have the gift of full empathy, the ability to read the
emotions of others and also influence those emotions, but Primes were the 
strongest of all. Bitter misunderstandings and bruised sen­sibilities weren't
possible with an awakened and alerted Prime 

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92 
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in attendance, and agreements and treaties were easily reached.Many, many years ago, it was decided that awakened em-paths, no matter howvaluable they were to Central, couldn't be allowed to move about freely onCentral. Even if the gov­ernment had permitted it, the population would have beentoo uneasy for peace to last very long. Riots would have started, and even thestrongest of the Primes would have been unable to save himself from a mob thatscreamed for his blood. To avert such a disaster, empaths and Centralgovern­ment had made a pact: the empaths agreed to live half lives when onCentral, and in return they received everything else that they wanted. In acarefully formulated program, the people were told from their first days ofeducation that XM's, and especially Primes, were giving up the equivalent of sightand hearing just to live among them and serve them. The in­doctrination producedpity and awe in the people, and they all did what they could to make the lot of anempath easier.I moved away from the tree, smoothing the back of the caldin with a quick strokeso I could squat down without dip­ping it in the mud. There was a small, dirtypool of water near my feet, and I could almost see myself in it."Why do you keep going back there?" I asked my distorted reflection. "Why don'tyou live elsewhere so you can stay alive?"My reflection didn't answer, but it didn't have to. I already knew that after everyassignment was completed, someone came by with the countertrigger that tookmy gift away from me again, along with the very memory of it. You can't resentthe loss of something you don't know you have, something you can't even wonderabout, and you become dependent on the people who can give you your life back.We'd long since passed the need to fear the people of Central, but the govern­mentwas much too fond of the leash it had on i . to turn us loose again."What do you do so far from the camtahT the barbarian demanded suddenly,wrenching my thoughts back to,the present situation. I looked up at him, cursingmyself for being so deep in thought that I hadn't felt his approach. He blazed withanger, but there was a residual of fear there, too. Had he been afraid that he'd losthis Prime? "I felt like taking a walk," I told him, standing straight and brushing at the caldin. "You didn't say I couldn't" 
sharon green 
"I do say so now," he growled, staring down at me with the anger cooling a bit. 
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"You are not to leave the camtah save with me. These woods are not safe." I opened my mouth to say that I would have warning of any danger, but was hitso hard with a solid wave of hunger and viciousness that I staggered as if I'd beenstruck physi­cally. The barbarian took a step toward me, but I waved him away,pointing frantically in the direction that the emotion was coming from. Hewhirled around, sliding his mighty blade out of its sheath as he turned, bringing itup just barely in time to meet the charge of the beast I had feltThe thing raced from the brush on four legs, but it was tall­er at the shoulders thanthe top of my head. It was a tawny gold in color, with short, bristly hair all over it,long, flexing claws on its legs, sharp, slavering teeth in its mouth. Its eyes andmind were mad with kill lust, and I backed away a few paces, trembling morefrom the mental onslaught than from its physical appearance. A gentle, intelligentbeing may be housed in the most grotesque of bodies, and it doesn't matter in theleast. The mind is the thing that counts.The barbarian swung his blade at the beast as it closed with him, cutting deeplyinto its shoulder. It screamed out its pain and turned briefly aside, then chargedagain in renewed rage. The wound was a serious one, but I knew from its mindthat the berserk beast would not slow down until it was dead. The barbarian cut at its other shoulder then jumped aside, barely escaping the teeth and claws thathungered for his blood.I forced calm and control over myself, then reached out toward the beast. As I'dsuspected, there was a small node of fear behind the insane rage, a fear that inlarge part pro­duced the rage. I touched the fear, encouraging it and causing it togrow larger, unpenning it from the beast's denial.The beast had scrabbled around as Tammad backed up to a tree, preparing tolaunch itself at him in a desperate attack. The barbarian's sword was red with gore,his body so splat­tered with it that it was hard telling whether or not he was hurt.The animal took three short steps toward the man, then the fear flowed out intothe beast's mind, causing it to howl in an agony that tore at me. It stopped stillwith its legs spread and its head back, howling its fear and pain, and the barbarianstepped forward and swung his sword, cutting the 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 95 
beast's throat and almost severing its head from its body. The howling cut off asthe body collapsed, but the agony faded more slowly.The barbarian paused to look down at the dead beast, then turned away from itand walked to me. There had been no fear in him during the battle, but only, Ithought, because there had been no room for it. His emotions had been filled withthe need to win, the determination to win. Fear is ac­companied by doubt, andthere had been no doubt in him ei­ther. He carried his bloody sword in his hand, 
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and he walked slowly to where I stood."Your warning was timely," he said, staring down at me speculatively. "We arefortunate that you saw the beast as it attacked. I must have been distracted indeednot to have de­tected it myself. A strange fazee it was, insane as they all are, yetsomething more. Come, we will return to the camtah." I went with him, walking slightly ahead as I followed the grumbling of the seetarr that was clearer than any trail. We reached the camtah without further incident, but the bar­barian threw his sword down on the tent's veranda, then put his handson my shoulders so that he could stare down into my eyes. I could feel hiscuriosity as if it were an itch as yet unscratched."There is much strangeness here," he said, narrowing his eyes somewhat. "Youhave never seen a fazee before, I know, yet you made no outcry and did not run.The fazee did not behave as it should have before it died, and you returned here tothe camtah as if you knew the way well. I would hear what these things mean."I considered telling him exactly what they meant, exactly what I was now. I wouldhave told him, but telling that much, I would have had to tell him about mycrippled life, too, and I couldn't face the pity he would feel for me. His hands wereheavy on my shoulders, but not as heavy as the weight of his pity would be.I said, "They mean that I won't be as much of a burden to you as you thought.Primes are Primes because of their ability, not because of someone's arbitraryorder. You should be pleased with your bargain.""Bargain?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Ah, you mean with my house-gift,my belonging. No, wenda, I am not quite pleased. Take that cloth and clean mysword." 
He pointed to a piece of material sticking out of a partially 
96 sharon green 
open sack near the camtah, then went toward the seetarr. His curiosity was stillwith him, but he had taken all of his emo­tions tightly in hand, not allowing themto rule him, and they were too mixed together for me to read easily. My ownemo­tions, though, were a different matter entirely.Wenda he'd called me! My hand went to my banded throat and I grasped the chainhe'd put there. I was nothing but wenda to him, to be closed in chains and givenorders! The sector he'd been riding had the carcass of an animal strung across its neck. Hepulled the carcass down to the ground, then unsaddled the seetar, rubbing itbriefly before returning his attention to the carcass. He took the knife that waswedged in the back of bis swordbelt, and began skinning the thing.I glanced at his bloody sword, then got the material to wipe it with. Looking at thecarcass had reminded me how hungry I was, but I couldn't ask him for food. I 
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went back to the veranda and began to lift the sword—but it flatly refused to lift! Ihad to use two hands to get it off the ground, and then had to kneel down and layit across my lap before I could begin cleaning it It felt as if it had invisible rootsan­choring it to the ground, and I wondered how the barbarian handled it soeasily. The barbarian supposedly still had his eyes and attention on the carcass,but I felt his amusement and almost heard his chuckle. I ground my teeth togetherand rubbed at the sword. The barbarian skinned the animal quickly, then took a large bag of what lookedlike ordinary wood, dumped some of it on a scarred place in the front corner ofthe veranda, and started a fire. When the fire was going well, he cut a slab of meatfrom the carcass, stuck a long, sharp stick through it, and brought it over to me."Do you hold this over the fire, turning it from side to side, until I say it is done,"he directed, taking the clean sword from my lap and replacing it in its scabbard. Itook the stick with the meat, and went to the fire. The meat stick was too wet to burn, but that doesn't mean it didn't smoke nicely. Icoughed as I held it, squeezing my watering eyes shut, wondering if the meatwould take forever to cook. My arms felt like lead by the time the barbarian calledme, my stomach was knotting in cramps from the deli­cious smell, and I wasnearly drooling. I carried the meat to 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 97 
him where he was still cutting up the carcass; he took it and inspected it, noddedhis head, then took a bite. 'True dimral at last," he said around the mouthful, chew­ing away at it. "A bitunderdone, perhaps, but you will gain facility with experience."He squatted down and took another bite, and I could feel his contentment as wellas see it Without being able to stop it, I blurted, "But what about me?""You?" he asked with a surprise he didn't feel, his eyes looking up at me. "Youalso have need of dimral? I hadn't considered such. You have my permission toseek in the woods for dimral of your own."His tone was light and uncaring, but his mind was expect­ant, waiting forsomething to happen, and I knew what that something was. He was waiting forwenda to acknowledge him as the great warrior and hunter, to admit that shewould starve without him, to beg Mm for something to eat Well, a true wenda might, but despite the bands, I was still a Prime! I turned, grabbed up the knifehe'd left in the carcass, and ran into the woods. I listened hard as I ran through the bushes and between trees, both to avoid anyother carnivores and to find some­thing that would show I wasn't helpless, In afew minutes, I caught a wisp of shy thought lost it, then caught it again. I sentreassurance ahead of me to the shy animal, changed course slightly, and slowed 
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down. I rounded a tree and saw the animal I had felt, a long-legged, big-eyed innocent ofa beast. It was a dusty red in color, and it had taken the reassurance I'd sent andwas clinging to it, grasping it eagerly and accepting it. Ittame up to me withouthesitation, rubbing its soft nose gently on my arm, trust and affection clear in itsmind. I held the bloody knife behind me, telling myself that I had to do it if I didn't, I would starve. I touched the silken neck with my fingers, feeling the pleasure thecaress gave the beast seeing the trust clear in its eyes, then laughed bitterly atmy­self. I could starve more easily than destroy that trust in me, die more easilythan betray the confidence of a thing that was almost all emotion without defense.I let the knife slide out of my fingers and sank down into a crouch, giving myselfover to hopelessness and despair.The beast had been nuzzling me gently, but suddenly it turned and ran, radiatingterror. I scrabbled after the knife 
sharon green 
I'd dropped, searching for the terrible danger that had frightened the beast, findingthe barbarian staring at me from beside a tree not three steps away. His mind wasin a calm turmoil, sharp questioning prevailing, his eyes unblinkingly on me. Iknew he'd seen me fail to kill the animal, and I couldn't stand it. He'd make me admit that I was helpless, make me beg to be protected. I got to my feet to run justas the animal had. I'd barely taken a step before his hand was on my arm, pulling me around to facehim. His blue eyes showed the dis­turbance he felt, and I trembled, trying to holdmy own emo­tions in."The tenna did not fear you," he said, more a statement than a question. "The tenna cannot be approached, yet you approached it. The fazee, too, was touched by something out­side itself. What power do you have, woman, and why have Inot seen it before?" I didn't answer him, but he nodded just as if I had. "The word I spoke to you. Ibelieve it woke the power within you, did it not? That was the purpose of theword. You reach to the beasts some way, healing them or destroying them at yourpleasure. Yet you could not slay where you had healed, and this I understand. Isyour power over beasts alone, or may men also be touched?""Not as easily," I choked out, closing my eyes, but unable to close out the calmcontrol of him. "If I couldn't touch men, I would be of little use as a Prime." "Now do. I understand the awe of your people," he said slowly, letting my arm go."And why my friend Dennison spoke of you as he did. There is much yet I mustlearn of this. Let us return to the camtah before the dimral grows cold." 
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"Your dimral," I said as he started off wrapped hi thought. "I haven't caught mineyet."He turned back to look at me, and annoyance flared in him. "Enough, wenda!" he snapped. "Have you not yet learned your lesson? Bring the knife and come!"I tried to hold his commanding eyes, tried the way I'd tried to kill the tenna—and failed just as miserably. I picked up the knife and followed after him, hatingmyself because he let me walk behind him with a knife in my hands. He knewwell enough that he had nothing to fear.
When we got back to the camp, I put the knife back into 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 99 
the carcass while he went toward his meat. Without stopping, I hurried to thecamtah and inside, unable to watch him eat The furs I lay down oa were soft andcomfortable, but they did nothing to fill the belly. Feeling miserable, I stretchedout and lay still."What do you do in here?" the barbarian asked, poking his head and shoulders inpast the leather curtain. "Come outside and eat, so we may speak further aboutthis power you 
I turned slightly hi the furs so that I could look away from him. "I have nothing toeat," I answered, feeling my stomach roll around and knot. "What questions doyou have?""You possess too much pride for a woman," he said, some strangely mixedemotion filling him. "I was merely returning to you the courtesy I received in yourhouse. I did not bring you here to force you to hunt or starve, wenda, and youshall earn what you eat."That word again! "Stop calling me that," I hissed furiously, jerking my head backto him, then shouted, "Stop calling nw that name! And take these chains off! Ican't think if I'm in chains!" "Why do the bands disturb you so?" he asked curiously, unperturbed. "Theymerely show you to be a highly valued belonging. Would you prefer men to thinkyou completely unprotected, and therefore free for the taking?""I don't care what men think!" I snapped, sitting up on one elbow. "I want thesechains off!" Then I reached out to him, filling him with my desire to be free,forcing agreement on him.Mechanically, woodenly, he came farther into the camtah, reaching for my ankleto free me, but then he stopped, frowned, and shook his head hard. He'd beenabout to do as I'd demanded, but then he drew his hand back again, and there wasanger all through him."You will not again attempt to control me!" he Ordered, cold-eyed, completely in 
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possession of himself again. "You will wear the bands as long as you remain onthis world. Too long have you been allowed to force others to your bidding. Youcare nothing of consequences, only-of your own desires, but I shall teach youwhat others have not Out of the camtah, wenda, and to your food!"He grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me out, through the leather curtain andacross the veranda to the very edge of 
100 sharon green 
it I was drained by the projection I'd attempted, and I lay where he left me,astounded that he could resist me, appalled that he dragged me around, agonizedin that I still wore the bands. I was a Prime, and couldn't be treated so! "Eat this!" he ordered, coming back to hand me a piece of the meat I'd cooked. Isat up slowly, brushed the hair out of my face, then took the meat. It was cold andslightly gritty and not cooked all the way through, but the first bite was pureambrosia. I chewed it, savoring its taste, and the bar­barian crouched down nearme with the rest of it "I do now see more fully how you touch men," he said around a bite of his own."Had I not had some idea of your power, I would have been taken. I do not knowif I care to have those who oppose me twisted in this manner. It is not a thing todo to a man," "That's not what I'll be doing," I mumbled, looking only at my bit of meat. "Ill justbe seeing that they listen to your ar­guments wife an open mind, and findingarguments for you that will convince them. Forcing agreement on them isn'tsomething I'm allowed to do.""Ah!" He stirred, satisfaction strong in him. "Then how is it you-attempted thus totwist me?" "I don't want to be banded," I muttered, then looked up at him. "Nobody forces you to wear chains." "They are free to make the attempt" He shrugged. "But who would wish to have awarrior in wenda bands? And would you have all women go without them, so aman cannot know which belongs to another? With the bands, a man'soverfamiliarity with a woman belonging to another cannot be excused byignorance. He either forfeits his life, or wins the woman for his own.""And the woman has nothing to say about it," I returned heatedly, forgetting aboutthe meat in my hand. "You men chain her and beat her, and hand her around asyou please, and she's helpless to stop it.""For what reason should she wish to stop it?" he asked mildly, feeling completeconviction for the nonsense he was spouting. "A woman is rarely dissatisfied withthe man who chooses her. Her father seeks carefully before he gives agree­mentfor another to band her. Should she so dislike her fa­ther's choice that she cannot 
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accept him, she will not please him enough that he will band her further. A womanwith a single band, who has not been recently acquired may be 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 101 
bought for very little, all men knowing that she who does not belong with the manwho possesses her may be the very one for whom he has been searching. Awoman with one band may quickly acquire five with the proper man.""So she literally has to work her tail off for the privilege of being chained," Isummed up in disgust "And you don't see anything wrong with that?""Where is the wrong?" He laughed, shaking his head. "Would a woman behappier if she were allowed to choose him to whom she will belong? I think not.Should she choose wrong, she would thereafter be unsure of herself, hesitant lestshe make another mistake. Our women do not have this to plague them. They arefree but for the word of him to whom they belong.""Some freedom," I muttered, finishing off the last of my meat "Free to be barteredand beaten. Hooray for liberty.""A woman is not beaten without cause," he said, studying me carefully. "If a manprotects her, hunts for her, clothes her, he has the right to demand obedience fromher. Were he to obey her, he would be little more than her slave. But you shalllearn the ways of a woman on this world, and shall grow with them. Too longhave you been kept as a willful child, and it was no kindness. A child cannot trulybe a woman." I watched wide-eyed as he stood straight again and went back to carving up the carcass. He really believed everything he'd said, and he was completely confidentthat he could make me believe it, too! I didn't know what I should do, didn't even know if I could do anything! He'd decided to save me from a life that anyonewould be crazy to want to leave, and I was to have no say in the matter. I thoughtabout my house on Central, the ease with which Td had any­thing I'd wished, andfelt like crying.As the day wore on, I had little time for crying. He had me feed the seetarr while he finished with the carcass, then we went together to a stream not far away.Instead of being allowed to bathe, though, I was made to wash the muddy imad and caldin of the day before while he stood guard. The wet clothing was thentaken back to camp to be spread on the roof of our camtah, and we began cookingthe rest of the meat. As each piece came out of the fire, he placed it care­fully on alarge leaf, wrapped it up, and put it away in a sack. 
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I was sweating and soot-covered when we stopped to eat again, but my eyes 
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weren't watering. Standing upwind of the fire had helped. The sky stayed grey andthreatening, but it still hadn't rained when the last of the meat was sacked. Ithought I'd be able to rest a while then, but my tormentor handed me a brush thatwas to be used on the seetarr. I brushed seetarr until my arms ached, and waslaughed at for suggesting that the barbarian do some brushing, too. The mightywarrior was too well occupied with oiling his sword to be bothered with otherthings.At long last, every acre of seetar had been brushed. Again I thought I would rest,but again I was mistaken. I was taken, along with the clean imad and caldin and a good half-dozen waterskins, back to the stream. I carried the waterskins, and thebarbarian carried a long, thin spear.After washing the imad and caldin that I'd been wearing, I was finally allowed towash myself. The water was delight­fully refreshing, and the barbarian strippedhimself so that he, too, could bathe. When he entered the water, he handed me his strip of brown cloth and told me to wash it for him. I had the urge to let the streamcurrent take it, but the thought must have occurred to him, too. He watched mecarefully un­til the cloth was safely back on the bank.Although the barbarian had left his swordbelt pa the bank, he had taken the thinspear into the water with him. He buried the blade in' the streambed until he hadbathed, then he waded out farther with the spear raised high. He stood very stillfor a long time, then suddenly moved with flashing, speed. The spear went intothe water, then was pulled out again with a long, fat fish flapping on the end of it.He came back to the bank to put the fish down, and grinned at me."We will have enough of dimral before the rains cease," he said. "This night wedine on pantay."He went back out to spear two more pantay, then we left the stream. With the blood from the fazee and dimral carcass washed off him, I could see three longgashes near his left shoulderblade where the fazee must have caught him. Iqui­etly searched his mind for the pain he must have felt and did find it, but it wasso well controlled that it barely reached his consciousness. I soothed it downfarther still, then withdrew. It was nearly dark by the time the fish were ready. The barbarian had wrappedthem in more of the leaf that he had, then buried them under the still glowingashes of the fire. I 
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sat on the veranda of the camtah, comfortably clean in body and clothing,working at my hair with the seetar brush. The bristles were too short and stiff to be really good, but ft was better than nothing, and certainly better than helpingthe bar­barian stack what the seetar would carry the next day. My imad and 
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caldin, and the barbarian's body cloth—called had' din—-were hung up to dry onpegs on the walls of the veranda in case it rained again.The pantay was delicious, with a delicacy of flavor, givea to it by the leaf, that I'dnever tasted before. I ate almost aH of mine—from the leaf with my fingers—andthe barbarian finished his two almost including the bones. He then pro­duced adifferent-looking waterskin, and took a deep draught"Ah, I must remember to thank my friend Dennison for this unmentioned gift," hesaid, nearly smacking his lips. "I had not thought to taste drishnak again until Ihad returned to my people."
"What is it?" I asked, watching him take another swallow."It is a wine made by my people," he answered, then he grinned. "Would youcare to taste it?" "Why not?" I shrugged, taking the skin as he passed it to me. "I could use somewine right about now."I sniffed at it before drinking, and ft somehow had a spicy smell. I sighed a little,annoyed at myself for thinking it would have a bouquet Considering its source, itwould need a lot of apology. I took a swallow of it-^-and thought my throat wason fire! I could feel it burning all the way down to my stomach, and I gasped inlungfuls of air, trying to douse the flames. The barbarian quickly took the skinfrom me and pounded on my back."Did you swallow wrong?" he asked, his voice filled with a concern he wasn'tfeeling. Inside he was laughing, and he added, "May I help you in some way?""You've already done enough!" I rasped, moving away from his pounding hand."You did that on purpose so you could laugh at me. I hate you!"I got to my feet and ran into the darkness to escape his laughter, but the memoryof it followed even into the deeper shadow of the seetarr. I stood between them near the tree they were tied to, feeling the tears run down my cheeks. The tearswere partly from the still burning "wine," but mostly from the barbarian'samusement. I was< nothing but an object of ridicule to him, a willful child of bo consequence, evea 
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less than wenda. 1 leaned against the side of the larger of the two male seetarr, 
and his enormous head reached around to poke at me gently.
The seetar seems to have more sense than I," the bar­barian said softly from
behind me. "I did not know you would feel the arrow of my laughter, but that has
no bearing. I should not have done what I did and I ask your pardon."
I leaned closer to the seetar and didn't answer him, and he moved nearer to put his
hand on my shoulder.
"Drink this water," he urged, holding a skin where I could see it. "It will help 

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against the burning.""Why should you care?" I asked bitterly. "What difference would if make to youif I burned up? You could always get another Prime from Murdock McKenzie,and the next one might not be the total loss that I am. It would be a better bargainall the way around.""You speak again of bargains," he said, pulling me around to face him. It was toodark to see him, but his strength glowed like a mile-high beacon. "I would haveyou know now that you were given to me by the Murdock McKenzie, not just as aPrime, but as a woman I desired. He is more father to you than you know, wenda, and long has he searched for a man for you. He accepted my offer of payment,and now you are truly mine. There will be no others sent in your stead."My head was swimming, and what he said didn't make any sense. "But—I doatunderstand. Why would you make an of­fer for me when you already thought ofme as your house-gift from Sandy?"He chuckled, then rubbed gently at my shoulders with his thumbs. "Although Ihave traveled between the stars but once, I have traveled many places oq thisplanet .of my birth. The custom of house-gift, no matter how well known amongmy own people, is not followed by other people of this world. Why, then, would Ibelieve that it was followed by the people of another world?""But you insisted!" I said in outrage, feeling dizzier and dizzier. "You took meand used me, and insisted that I was your house-gift!""You were unhanded," he said, and I could feel his shrug. "On a world of darayse,a man insists on what he wills, does as he pleases. None came forward tochallenge my claim, but I wished to buy you in a proper manner and so spokewith the Murdock McKenzie." 
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"Murdock McKenzie can't sell me," I said weakly, trying to stop my head fromwhirling. "Even if he were my father he couldn't sell me! You don't own me andyou know itl You're just trying to—"I broke off because my knees refused to hold me any long* er. The barbariancaught me before I hit the ground, and lifted me in his arms with a soft laugh."The drishnak is not for wenda," he said. "Best you seek your furs now, for weleave with the new sun. There is still far to go before we reach my people."He carried me back to the camtah, and I could feel the vague thoughts of comfortfrom the seetarr. My own thoughts were all confusion as he helped me out of theimad and caldin. I wanted to argue with him, talk to him, tell him what I felt, but itwas as though I'd dropped all of my strings and couldn't gather them togetheragain. He took me hi his arms, and it had been so long since he'd last touched methat my body responded immediately. I tried to stop the feelings of desire I was 
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sending to him, but it was beyond my control. His own desire filled me, shrank meto nothing, the fierceness of it like nothing I'd ever experienced before. He blazedup like a star gone nova, and I was dwarfed and consumed to ashes. I still don'tknow if I fell asleep that night or passed out. 
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I woke alone again, but this time the light at the leather curtain was the palest ofgreys. I could hear the stirring-trees sound of heavily falling rain, underlining theannoyance I immediately felt. Didn't that stupid planet every have any­thing butrain or the threat of it? I crawled to the leather curtain, intending to get the clean tmad and caldin, but in the dim light of pre-dawn I could see that they were gone from the peg. My raincape hung there instead, and that annoyed me, too. I went back to the furs, gropeduntil I found the clothing I'd worn the day before, and put it on.As I went through the leather curtain, the barbarian ap­peared at the edge of theveranda, stepped onto it, and crouched down. He had two pieces of the meat I'dcooked the day before, and he handed me one of them with a grin."After we have eaten, we will pack the camtah and go," he said, pushing back thehood of his rain cape. "I would be at this night's camping place as soon as possibleso that I may take you quickly to the furs. Never again will a woman with­out thepower have the ability to satisfy me. You are wenda without equal.""Is that so," I muttered, chewing on the meat and staring at him. No- men had evertouched me when I was awakened before, and it had been completely my choice. Ihadn't really known what I would feel from them, but the polite words thatcovered hot emotions annoyed me too much to give me an interest in trying. I hada blurred memory of the night be­fore, and I didn't care to feel that small again. 
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"You and I have a few things to discuss, barbarian," I told him coldly. "I don't likebeing had. It finally came to me last night that when you agreed with MurdockMcKenzie that you would be taking your 'house-gift' home with you, you werebluffing. You were lying to back up his threat.""The Murdock McKenzie had chosen you to accompany me." He shrugged. "Thathe did not use a switch to Obtain obedience was also his choice. la the face of that, his gener­osity to you, could I do other than support him?""Generosity?" I exploded. "He blackmails me into some­thing I wanted no part of, 
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and you call it generosity? But of course! You would! Well, the game is over. I'mgoing back to the embassy, and from there I'm going home. Find another fool todo your dirty work for you!""I return to my people and my belongings return with me," he answered, refusingto react to my outburst. "I will not find my people at the embassy.""I can manage on my own," I said, wiping the meat grease on my fingers off onthe caldin. "It will be my pleasure to tell Murdock McKenzie that you needanother victim. As impor­tant as he thinks this is, he'll find someone fast enough.""He has already found someone," the barbarian returned. "And have you forgottenthat you were also given to me to band as my own? I paid well for you, wenda, and shall not lose my purchase price.""You might as well forget that nonsense," I snorted. "How long do you think youcan fool me with it? You know as well as I do that I'm not for sale and never have been. Even you admittted that your barbaric customs don't apply to my world, I'ma free woman and always have been!""But we do not now stand upon your world." He grinned. "We stand upon mine,where the Murdock McKenzie said I might band you. I have banded you, and willtake you to my people where you shall aid me. Fold the furs, wenda, so that I might place them on the seetar." He pulled his hood back on, and went out into the rain again, leaving me to fume.If he thought I would be doing any more of his housekeeping for him, he wascrazy. I took the rain cape down from the peg, put it on, then slipped out of the
camtah. The barbarian had his back turned, too busy with the pack seetar to see me go. Imade my way deeper into the woods, fairly sure that I knew the way back to theroad. I splashed 
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through the mud beneath the dripping trees, watching for signs of the road,listening for thoughts of predators. I picked up a few fleeting emotions, but theywere too far away to worry about.Reaching the road took longer than I thought it would, but I finally found it. Fdhad one close call in the woods when something hungry had picked up my scent,but I'd done the right thing. Fd projected the feeling of being enormous,unconquerable, and very hungry too, and had pretended to turn in the direction ofthe predator. The thing had felt my projections clearly, and had slunk quickly away.I walked down the center of the road, wondering what walking there was likewhen if wasn't raining. The quiet hum of satisfied burrow animals came to mefrom both sides of the road, keeping me company. I sloshed along in the 
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monot­ony of the mud, remembering every sloppy step of it to add to my hatredof Murdock McKenzie. I had almost no warning at all. I picked up stray feelings of boredom and resignedannoyance almost at the same time that I heard the sound of hoofbeats. I lookedup in surprise to see three seetarr and riders coming down the road toward me,but they were still some distance away. I darted quickly off the road into the trees,hoping I hadn't been seen, but no such hick. The feelings changed to curiosity andinterest, and the rhythm of the hoofbeats increased.I cursed myself for an idiot, and went deeper into the woods. If Fd had the senseto walk at the side of the road, I could have been into the woods before anyonehad a chance to see me. Now I had to avoid the riders without getting hopelesslylost Suddenly, I felt the curiosity searching in front of me in­stead of behind. Irealized that the riders must have left the road farther up and had swung around tocut me off. I turned back to the road again, sweating under the rain cape.I was halfway back to the road when the burst of exulta­tion told me Fd been afool. The man stepped out in front of me, grabbing me easily when I tried to run,He had been on foot, stalking me with the patience and lack of emotion thatmarked the true hunter, and I'd been wasting my time worry­ing about the oneswho came openly."What do you do here alone, wenda?" the man asked as I struggled against him.He was almost as big as the barbarian, 
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but I still had to try. "Why do you travel the road without a man, eh?"
"Perhaps she has run away from him to whom she be­longs," another voice put in.
The other two men had ridden up to us, and were dismounting.
"If she has run away," the third man said with an ugly grin, "we shall not displease
her by returning her. She shall find much to occupy her in our company, and shall
not run away again."
"She has green eyes." The first one laughed, holding my back up against him with
my head up so the others could see my eyes. '-I have never had a woman with
green eyes."
"It is not her eyes I care to see," the third one said, step­ping closer. He opened
the ram cape with a single tug, then pulled it off me. They stared at me in silence,
their emotions rolling.
"Five-banded," the second man said at last "Dark-haired, green-eyed, and five-
banded. A woman for no ordinary man."
"I too, would keep her five-banded!" the third man snarled, fear trying to fill his
mind. The ram rolled off his rain cape, but it soaked into my clothes and hair. 

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"The one who owns her cannot be the greatest of warriors, else she .would nothave run away. Do you fear the wrath of one who cannot keep his woman besidehim?" "Perhaps he is but a wealthy merchant," the first said, grabbing at the thought tocalm his own fear. "Yes, a fat, wealthy merchant who has the price of such awoman, but not the ability to keep her,""Aye!" the third laughed, relief flooding him. "She tired of empty furs and wentseeking a man. She may now rejoice that she has found three!""She is five-banded," the second said quietly. "No mer­chant would five-band awoman, save were he warrior, too. Let us return her from whence she came." "No!" the third man said angrily, his blue eyes flashing at the second man. "Shehas fallen to us, and we shall keep her! My sword is sharp enough to answer anyman, merchant or not! Has yours grown dull from lack of use, you may ride onalone! I do not care to ride with darayse!"The second man's jaw set and his hand moved beneath hfe rain cape, but hecontrolled the burst of anger he'd felt at the insult.
"I shall not kill you," he told the third man coldly. "I shall 
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leave that to be done by the warrior to whom she belongs. It is his right."He turned to his seetar, mounted quickly, then rode away without looking back.The third man watched him go, then snorted."That one is wenda himself!" he said in disgust. "Should he find a woman in hisfurs, he would not know what to do with her. But I, my pretty, do not have thatlack. How are you called?"'That does not concern you," I answered the interest in his eyes. "Would you careto have the price of many women? A price that you yourself may set?""What do you say, wenda?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "No woman would beallowed the possession of dinga.""Nor do I have dinga" I answered, trying to keep the quiver out of my voice. If Ihad had any of their money, he would have had it, and me with it. "The dingawould be given you if I were taken to the house of the offworiders. It is not distantfrom here, and the offworlder called Dennison would pay well for me. He haslittle knowledge of the value of dinga, and can easily be convinced to part withmuch of it" "It is a thought," the first man said hopefully. "The offworiders are fools, and willpay many times the worth of a woman.""Perhaps," the third man said, staring down at me thought­fully. "I would knowwhy the offworlder should wish to buy you, wenda. Have you value other thanthat which may be seen?" 
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"I have value only to the offworlder," I said carefully, not liking the calculatingturn of his thoughts. "The sooner we reach there, the sooner you may have your
dinga.""If the dinga is there, it shall not stray," he said, putting his hand out to finger astrand of my dripping hair. "I shall see for myself what your worth may be, thenwe shall speak again of additional value. I will know what I sell before I sell it""You cannot..." I started, but he pulled me toward him, the heat beginning to buildin him. I could feel the first man's desire too, and it made me frantic. They'd bothuse me be­fore, they decided whether or not to take me to the embassy, and they'dspend some tune trying to find out why Denny 
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would pay for me. I had no chance of escaping them, but maybe I could distractthem. As the third man slid his hand into the open side of my imad, I searched the first man's mind and found the faint jealousy there. It was mostly envy that the otherman would have me first, but it was enough. I fanned it carefully and en­couragedit a little, and the first man stepped closer to us."Hold!" he said sharply. "It was I who captured this woman. Why are you to haveher first?" "It is my right," the third man answered coldly. "Am I not a greater warrior thanyou?"I prodded a resentment, and anger flared in the first man, "I am not so poor awarrior that I may be ignored!" he snapped. "Do you think me darayse?"Instead of the anger I expected in return, the third man grew thoughtful. "You are not darayse" he said quietly. "We have ridden together under many suns. As itmatters to you, do you have the woman first."The first man was instantly mollified, and I was almost in shock. They weren'tgoing to fight over ,me—you only fight for something you don't want to share.They had no qualms about sharing me, so there was no basis for argument. Imight have had enough strength to force one of them away from me with myempathetic abilities, but I could never have handled two and the necessaryrunning as well; not to men­tion that I didn't want to give them even a hint as towhat I was able to do. The first man pulled me to him with a big grin, taking upwhere the other had left off, and I struggled ineffectually, trying to think ofsomething else.Then I caught the flash of fear from the third man, feeling him cover it instantlyand stiffen. The first man loosened his hold on me to look over his shoulder where the third man was looking, then released me altogether with a sinking feelingstrong within him. I moved to one side where I could see too, and saw an icy 
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mountain of coldly enraged bar­barian. Tammad sat stiff on his sector, staring atthe other two men. I moved away farther still, and there wasn't a single word spoken among the threemen. Tammad dismounted and they all three drew their swords, the two strangersgripped in despair, but grimly determined to do what they could. First one, thenthe other of them slipped out of their rain capes, finding themselves appalled tosee Tammad merely fold un­
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der the right side of his. They needed all the freedom of movement they could get,but he had enough as he was.The two men separated, going against the slightly bigger barbarian from twosides. Tammad watched them with com­plete unconcern, waiting patiently forsomething. When the two men suddenly charged him, his patience changed to"satis­faction and the waiting was over.He moved with the speed that had saved him from the jaws of the fazee, and the two men never had a chance. He blocked the sword of the one on Ms left with his own sword, then cut viciously back toward the one on his right. The man on theright had Ms sword up for a downward stroke, and the barbarian's blade openedhim from side to side. His blood rushed out to join the pouring rain, and the mancollapsed to join the trampled mud. He felt no surprise at his death, just a deep,wailing sadness.The other man had staggered back a step, but by the time he raised his swordagain, he stood alone in the battle. He was the one who had been the third man,and his mind cried with a fear that never reached his face. Tammad moved at him almost casually, bringing Ms sword down at the man'shead with no attempt at deception. The man blocked the blow with Ms ownsword, two-handed, but it still staggered Mm. Another blow came and another,and each time he had to move back a step. His arms seemed to be having troubleholding the sword up, and finally they could no longer do so. The sword fell fromnerveless fingers, and with numbed mind, the man slid to Ms knees hi front of thebarbarian. I didn't understand why the core of Mm screamed and gibbered andshook with a sickness of fear that was worse than the fazee's had been, a sickness that was foam-flecked and rancid blue, until I saw the barbarian raise his sword again, high, high, and bring it crashing down....I cringed away and quickly turned my back, but couldn't turn away from thevoiceless shriek. The man had been so afraid of dying, and Ms sickness soured mysoul. To suffer a man's death with him put a big question mark next to the value ofthe gift I'd thought so much of.Through the trees I saw the road, and shakily prodded my­self into moving toward 
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it. Once I got back to the embassy I'd be all right I'd bathe, and change into myown clothes, and sleep in a real bed. I was a free woman, and— 
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"No," the barbarian said, suddenly there to take me by the hair. "We go the otherway,"He dragged me over to a small tree, forced my arms around it, then tooksomething from his swordbelt. When he let go of me my wrists stayed together,held by something that hooked the two wrist bands to each other. ' "Turn meloose!" I screamed, fighting the chains that held me. "You have no right to do thisto me!" He didn't even bother answering. He moved around behind me, doing something Icouldn't see, and there was nothing but calm in his mind—calm and a small knotof anger that made me want to hide. The tree was hard and I was dripping wet,and I couldn't pull loose from the bands that had been forced on me.When he finished with whatever he had been doing, he came to get me. Heseparated the wrist bands again and pulled me over to his sector, where the reins of the dead man's seetar were already attached to his saddle. He lifted me into thesaddle, mounted himself, then headed us toward the road. When we reached it, we collected the second seetar, no longer needed by a dead man, and turned up theroad. "I want to go back to the embassy," I moaned, shivering against the chill. I was aswet as if I'd fallen hi a river, and the barbarian's rain cape was cold against myback. "This is kidnapping and you know it!""A man cannot steal what is his," he told me in that calm, even way of his. After aminute he added, "The camtah was left without my permission."I knew immediately what he meant and tried to slide out of his grip and off the seetar, but his arm was a sixth band around my waist. I rocked back and forthfutilely, screaming and cursing in every language I knew, but it helped not at all.He was going to beat me again, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.The pack seetar was standing quietly when we reached it The camtah had been rolled and tied onto its back, and there was nothing left of the camp. Thebarbarian lifted me off his seetar, chained me to another tree, then went to the pack seetar. When he finally came back to unchain me, the camtah was standingagain.He dragged me to the camtah without a word, and I was shivering too much tospeak. It was difficult to believe that I had ever been dry or warm hi my entirelife. Once inside the 
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camtah, my clothes came off fast, and the barbarian gave me a small cloth to wipemyself with. It didn't go very far, and the wat^r still dripped from the ends of myhair even after I'd wiped it. My furs were on the floor, and I didn't have to be toldtwice to get into them, but I wasn't just left lying there. The barbarian attachedsomething to the ankle bands that held them together, then he left the camtah. Even with the furs it took a while to stop the violent shivering. The chill wasslowly sucked out of my marrow, and by concentrating on the calm, ponderousthoughts of the seetarr, I was able to submerge the memory of the deaths of themen. Seeing a man die, no matter how violently, can't compare with feeling himdie. The memory would be with me forever, but one day I might be able to copewith' it. My curiosity finally got the better of me, and I moved the furs aside to see whatthe bands were being held with. If I could remove it, I still had a chance to reachthe embassy. My feet were stained with the memory of mud, and the ankle bands,once a bright bronze, were dull with still remaining traces of the mud. The bandsthemselves were held together with a bronze clip that gleamed between one linkof each band. I tried to remove fee clip, tried to loosen at least one side of it, but itworked on the same principle that the bands themselves did. I didn't have thestrength needed for pressing the thing open."Still you do not learn," the barbarian said from the leather curtain. There is workwhich must be done before you may return to your people. Before I allow you toreturn to your people."He held the dry imad and caldin, but lie also held the switch. I licked my lipsfrom a suddenly dry mouth, then took a breath."And how well do you think I'll work if I'm beaten?" I asked weakly. "You'll haveto take my word about things that can't be seen by you. If I tell you the wrongthings, you'll have no way of knowing that they're wrong, and you won't get whatyou're after. You need me on your side, not against you."He sighed heavily, threw the Imad and caldin to the floor, then crouched down to shake his head at me. "Wenda, this thought had not occurred-to me," he said withconsiderable patience. "Had I been reluctant to take your council, I would nothave accepted you from the Murdock McKenzie. All 
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have assured me that toy cause may be won with your aid. Should this fail tooccur, I will know that true council was not given me. You will then be rewardedby being unbanded and.given away to any who would have you. Perhaps one dayyou may see your people again, but many men will have passed between thetimes. If this is what you wish, tha deci­sion is yours to make. But for the time 
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yon remain my belong­ing, I will have your obedience."He forced me to my stomach then, and the switching was terrible. He held medown with one hand and used the switch with the other, and the pain made me fillthe camtah with my screams. I'd never been treated the way this man, thisbar­barian, was treating me, and I hated it and hated him. I lost control and let mypain and desperation Sow loose, and the seetarr bellowed an accompaniment, butthe barbarian re­fused to be touched by it and continued to beat me with calm inhis mind. Afterward, he sat and oiled his sword until I'd stopped cry­ing, then he had medress and fold the sleeping furs. He took the furs and my wet clothes outsidewhile I put on the rain cape he had retrieved, then I stood by while he folded thecamtah. The roof braces lay flat when he pushed on them, and the whole thingrolled up into something a sector could easily carry. The packs had beendistributed among the three spare seetarr, and none of them noticed the amount they had to carry.In order to resume the journey, the barbarian sat me be­hind him on his seetar, not on the saddle but on the saddle fur, even though I would have much preferredwalking. I sat astride, the caldin being full enough to permit it, and was forced tohold the barbarian around his broad waist to keep myself from falling. I cursedmyself for a triple-damned fool, but couldn't stop what touching him did to me inspite of the pain he had caused, and when the chill came back, I slid my handsbeneath his rain cape to share his warmth.We rode continuously through the day, eating in the saddle to make up for thetime we'd lost that morning. When we stopped for the night, I was almost too stiffto stand, let alone walk. I'd spent the entire, almost endless, day thinking, and theconclusions I'd come to were inescapable.I was to be trapped on that terrible planet forever. Some­thing would go wrongwith the barbarian's plans, I would be blamed, and then I would be given away. Noone would lis­
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ten when I asked to be taken to the embassy, and I would never see Central or myfriends again. Throughout the long day I'd thought about that, and I wascompletely resigned to my fate. I had no chance of escaping the brute whoclaimed to own me, and I would never escape the ones who owned me after him. Iwould be lost forever. I wasn't able to eat that night, and even the barbarian's touch failed to rouse me. Ipictured myself at the mercy of endless brutes, and I cried with deep, hurting sobs.The bar­barian was puzzled and held me to him with gentle arms, but it was nocomfort. I cried until I had no more strength left, and then I slept 
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The rain still fell the next day, and my world, too, was grey and cold. I found itimpossible to look at the barbarian without tears starting in my eyes, so I avoidedthe sight of him as best I could. I was still able to eat none of the cold meat, so Ithrew it away when the barbarian turned his back, then folded the sleeping furswithout comment when told to do so. The camtah was put on another of the seetarr, and we began traveling again.We might have been traveling continuously over the same stretch of road for allthat I could tell. The rain fell in thick, steady torrents, the road was an endlessstretch of mud, the trees looked the same, the fields looked the same. Sometimes the trees were to the right and the fields were to the left, sometimes the other wayaround, and sometimes there were no fields at all. Other than that, there was no variation. We stopped at midday for another meal, but the sight of the meat, white-dottedwith its own congealed fat, turned my stomach. I managed to throw it away again,wishing only for & place where the rain would not beat at me, one that did notcontinually rock from side to side. I could feel the bar­barian's eyes on me, feel thepuzzlement he felt, but happily he said nothing.It was late in the day when I almost fell. The dizziness had crept up on me andslowly increased until I clung to the bar­barian's rain cape in desperation. Mycheek was tight against it, trying to draw every bit of coolness from it, coolnessthat would drive the dizziness away. The coolness wasn't enough, the dizzinesscontinued to increase, aad then my fingers lost 
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their grip. I slid to the left, drawn by the sea of mud beneath, expecting to godown to meet it, but was stopped instead by the giant hand of my captor. Hegripped my arm tightly and drew me to the saddle in front of him, frowning as hestudied me. "What ails you, woman?" he muttered, putting his hand to my face. The touch ofit was like ice, and I shivered even as it revived me somewhat. He drew his hand away again, leaned me against him, men changed the direction of the seetar. We entered the woods again, found another clearing, and stopped. I didn't knowwhy we'd stopped when there was still light left, but I was too dizzy to care. I saton the seetar while the camtah went up, drawing what comfort I could from its 
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grumbling concern.
Once again I was carried to the camtah, and.once again my clothes were removed.
The steadiness of my sleeping furs was a heavenly delight, but they were too
warm to have on me. I kicked off the covering one, then held tight to the one
beneath me. 
'You must remain covered," the barbarian said, waking me from a light doze. He
threw the furs over me with one hand, the other holding a small metal bowl from
which steam arose. Behind him, through the leather curtain, I saw that it was full
night out, and that he had built a small, shielded fire on the edge of the verandah.
"You will eat this and the fever will be gone in hours," he said, folding into his
usual crouch. "Why did you not say you were fll?"
"I'm just tired," I mumbled, turning away from him. I wanted to go back to sleep,
the only place I could escape to where he couldn't follow.
"This must be eaten first," he said, pulling me back. "Then you may sleep."
I needed help to sit up, and I needed help to drink from the bowl. He'd made a
broth from some of the meat, but there was an pdd, pleasing taste to it that the
meat didn't have. I slowly swallowed it all, then lay down again.
The next time I woke, the barbarian's hand on my face was a good deal warmer.
Blurrily, I felt his satisfaction and, through half-closed eyes, saw his smile.
"The fever is gone," he said softly. "The next sun will find you well again." 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 119 
"I don't want to be well," I mumbled, still feeling the weight of my fate on me. "Iwant to die and have done with it. Then I'll be free again. Free again."The sobs came before the tears, and they hurt my chest But I was too sleepy to cryfor long.The never-ending rain was still there the next morning. 1 opened my eyes, thendecided not to move anymore. If I lay still long enough, it would all be over anddone with. I lay there for a few minutes, trying not to notice how hungry I was,and then the barbarian came in. "Do you now dress," he said, "then we shall eat and be on our way. The day doesnot grow longer.""I'm not going with you," I mumbled into the furs. "You said that anyone whodidn't prefer death to slavery deserved to be a slave, and you were right. I'm goingto stay here and die now, then I won't be a slave any longer,""So now you feel yourself slave," he said in annoyance, "Very well. It is againstthe laws of my people to hold slaves, therefore shall I leave you behind me. I willnow pack my furs, camtah, imad and caldin. Do you now remove your­self fromthem." I stared at his broad, stubborn face for a minute, then set my lips. He was taking 
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everything and leaving me nothing, but I shouldn't have expected anything else.
Everything and everyone was his. 
I got out of the furs without saying another word, then moved past him to the
curtain. I didn't like the idea of being outside without clothes on, but I would have
died rather than ask him for anything. I moved to the end of the verandah, then
remembered something and turned back to him.
"If you're taking everything else," I said coldly, "you can take these chains, too.
They do belong to you."
"I cannot," he answered, watching me where I'd paused at the end of the veranda.
"In honor I may not unhand a woman save there be another man there willing to
band her himself. The bands you may keep."
"But I don't want them!" I insisted, then forced myself to turn away from him.
He'd never listen to a thing I said, and there was no sense wasting my breath. I
stepped off the veranda, stood straight, then looked around.
The faint light of dawn put everything in half shadows. As I'd known, the rain still
fell, but it fell softly and with more warmth than it had yet had. I was quickly
soaked, but it 

120 sharon green 

didn't really matter. I went to a tree on the other side of the camp and stood under
it. 
By the time the barbarian had everything packed, the rain had stopped. He didn't
look at me again until he was in his saddle, then he sat for a moment, as if waiting
for me to say something. When I didn't, he turned the seetarr and rode away.
I waited for something to happen, then I got tired of stand­ing up. I squatted down
and waited, but still nothing hap­pened, except that I got hungrier. I looked
around again, wondering how long it would take to die. I didn't like just squatting
there, wearing not a stitch of clothing, still trapped in those chains. It was
embarrassing—and it was boring.
The sun came up, brighter than I had ever seen it Flying things fluttered around
the trees, beasts stretched happily in the woods, and even the mud seemed to settle
down quietly. I stood straight and walked out from under the tree, wondering what
to do. 
The morning wore on and I got thirsty. The waterskins were gone with the
barbarian, and the small pools on the ground were too dirty to drink from. I
wandered away from the clearing, but didn't go in the direction the barbarian had
gone hi. With do clothes on, I didn't want to be near the road.
I listened to the feelings of the beings around me, annoyed that they could be so
happy when I was so miserable. I hadn't done anything that merited being brought
to a strange planet and then abandoned, but I was there just the same, waiting for 

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the one thing that would free me from bondage. Now that I was resigned to dying,
how long did it take any­way?
Then I picked up the emotion of a hunting beast, no differ­ent from the others in
the woods, except that it was closer. I felt its pleasure when it found a scent, and
its determination when it began following that scent I waited a moment to be sure,
but there was really no doubt The scent it had found was mine.
I moved off in the opposite direction, feeling faintly uneasy. How many of the
hunting things in the forest would come across me? How many of them would I
have to evade? I put together the feelings of being very big, very hungry, and very
unbeatable, and projected them at the following animal. 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 121 
I felt it pause, considering what had just come to it, then it continued on,following my scentMy heart started pounding and I began moving faster, ap­palled by what hadhappened. The beast hadn't believed my projection, or it hadn't cared. It thoughtof itself as very big and completely unbeatable, and its hunger was greater thanmine. It was determined to eat well, and would fight for the opportunity to do so.I stumbled through the woods, being scratched by branches, fear filling me as itnever had before. I projected peace at the beast, contentment, weariness, and evenfear, but nothing stopped it. It came inexorably on, patiently seeking the source ofthe scent Suddenly, I stopped dead, feeling the attention of another predator. This one wasahead of me, and ft had been attract­ed by the noise of my passage through thewoods. It, too, picked up my scent and came eagerly toward me.I looked wildly around at the silent and uncaring trees and bushes, not knowingwhich way to go. They were both so close, and I had no way of defending myself.I grasped the tree I stood near, looking up at the branches that were too far abovemy head to be reached, then my insides twisted and my eyes were pulled awayfrom the tree. The second preda­tor, the one that had been ahead of me, steppedinto sight.It stood no taller than my waist, but it was lean and muscled all along its five footlength. Its grey and black pelt was wet from the bushes it had passed through, itsblack eyes gleaming as it opened its fanged muzzle to snarl. I stood pet­rified,unable to move in any way, and the thing started toward me.Then a furious roar sounded from the other direction. My head snapped around,knowing that the first predator had ar­rived, too. It was twice the size of the other,was covered all over with long, silky brown fur, and was absolutely furious thatits prey was about to be taken by another beast. The smaller predator hissed andsnarled in frustration at the sight of the larger, but it slunk off rather than fight 
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what it knew would be a losing battle.
The big predator turned its head back to me, and I could feel its deep satisfaction
and gnawing hunger. It had what it had been after, and it would take it now. From 
twenty feet away, it began to launch itself at me.

My mind found no way to attack it from within, but I 
122 sharon green 
couldn't turn my eyes away. In two bounds it was ten feet closer, and I knew thatrunning would be useless—even if I'd been able to run. Then it left the ground in asavage spring—and twisted in the air, screaming at the shaft in its chest-that wasending its life. I watched as it struck the ground, thrashing in the mud in spite ofbeing already dead.There was a pain in my chest and I gulped in air, not hav­ing realized that Tdbeen holding my breath. Weakly I turned my head and saw the barbarian standingonly five feet away with a bow in his hand, and never bad he looked somag­nificent—or welcome. I wanted to go to him, but instead I squatted downwhere I was to keep from collapsing in the mud."My apologies," he said as he came closer to where I squatted with whirling headin trembling hands. "I am hunt­ing for fresh meat, and did not mean to comebetween you and the death you seek. I shall continue on my way at once."He started away again, his thoughts calm, but I was fran­tic. "No!" I screamed,staggering erect and running after him to throw my arms around him. "Don'tleave me again! I'll admit it if you have to hear it, but don't leave me again!""What is it that you would admit, wenda?' he asked softly, stroking my hair as Ishivered against him.I had to swallow the sour taste in my mouth before I could answer him. "I admitI'm afraid to die," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I'm afraid to die, so I must be aslave. You were right to put chains on me.""You are a great trial to me," he sighed, continuing to smooth my hair. "It is trulysaid that the smallest of bands may surround the greatest of difficulties. Know you, wenda, that there is much difference between fearing death and not wishingto die. Because you do not wish to die, you do not, prelta, become a slave. I, too, do not wish to die, yet I am no slave.""I don't understand," I moaned in misery, clinging to the pulse beat I could feel inhis chest. "I just know that I don't want to be hunted again. That thing was alreadytasting me, it could feel its teeth sinking into me—"I broke off at the sickening memory, shuddering beyond my control to stop. I feltagain the death of the two men, and I knew that I had almost shared it. Thebarbarian held me tight against him, and I knew, too, that the shudderingdis­turbed him. 
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"I had not realized you would feel this so sharply," he said, almost to himself.The .thing was a mistake. Come, the camp is not far."He urged me along with him, and I couldnt bring myself to loosen my hold onhim. I had come so close! If I couldn't submerge the memory, I would never beable to stop shaking again.When we reached the camp, he made me sit down on the camtah's veranda,' dryand wanned now from the sun. I hugged myself, rocking back and forth, trying togain control of my emotions. I was almost to the point of projecting what I felt,and that couldn't be allowed to happen. The seetarr were already snorting andthrowing their heads around, and if I let loose, they might stampede.The barbarian came back with the metal bowl, but it wasn't steaming. He helpedme put it to my lips and I swal­lowed gratefully—until I realized it was that viledrishnak. It had had water added to it, but it was still awful, yet he made me drinkit all. I coughed and choked until it was down, then he put the bowl aside."The drishnak will help to calm you,"-he said, taking my face hi his hands tostudy me. "You are pale yet, but there are no tears. Why do you not cry whenthere is reason to cry?""Don't say I cry for no reason," I muttered, trying to rid my mouth of the drishnak taste. "If you were never going to see your home or friends again, you'd cry,,too." "Truly, an excellent reason for tears," he agreed solemnly, but there was someemotion he was holding back on. "I would know how the knowledge of this cameto you.""You told me so yourself," I said, starting to feel warm and a little drowsy."You're going to give me away to anyone who wants me, and I'll never be able togo home.""I had thought this was but a possibility," he murmured, his eyes half closed."Have you decided then to give me no help in my cause?" "No," I answered vaguely, my eyes meeting his. "But I know something will goWrong, and 111 be blamed. Then you'll give me. away because I'm. your slave. Iwant to go home." "And so you shall," he said softly, letting me lie down right there on the veranda."Did I not give my word to return you to your embassy? You will give me youraid to the best 
124 sharon green of your ability, wenda, and I shall keep my word. Now you may sleep awhile to 
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restore yourself. Later, we shall continue on.""Nothing but wenda to him," I mumbled, getting very comfortable. "Why can'the see me as more? I'm not crippled any longer...."I let it trail off because it was useless. I would never be anything but wenda to one like him. I wanted it not to mat­ter, but it did matter. It mattered a lot I slept for a few hours, and the sun was still bright when I woke. I sat up groggilyand stiffly, looking around at the peaceful camp, and then the barbarian noticedme. He brought over a piece of meat and a waterskin, watched silently as I bolteddown the meat, then sat himself cross-legged near me."Have you restored yourself?" he asked, concern and something else touching histhoughts. I wanted to see what the something else was, but it was too wellcovered. "I'm all right," I answered, trying to see through his beau­tiful blue eyes. "Didyou mean what you said before I slept? That you would let me go home?""I did." He nodded. "I gave my word. I ask only that you aid me as you gave yourword to do. Is it agreed?"His gaze was level and serious, as though the decision were really mine. "Whatchoice do I have?" I asked with a shrug, picking at the outside of the waterskin."I'm your slave, aren't I?""Belonging, not slave," he corrected, and I could feel the flash of impatience thathe didn't allow to show. "There is a difference between belonging and slave. TheHamarda, in the desert to the west of my people's lands, hold slaves. These slavesare chained closely and beaten upon whim. Do you not see the difference?"I fingered the chain around my neck and remembered the last switching. "There'sa difference?" He stared at me, fighting hard to keep his temper, then he took a deep breath andmuttered, "There is much to be said to the benefit of tears. Let us see, wenda, if we may find a difference. Fetch for me that saddle strap."I stood up and got the saddle strap he'd pointed to, then brought it back. "Good."He nodded, taking the thing out of my hand. It was heavy leather, thick and stiff,and its edges felt sharp. "Now do you kneel here beside me." 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 125 
I knelt down, wondering what he was getting at, and, was surprised when he tookme across his lap and put my arms behind me. When he let go of my arms I triedto get them apart, but the wrist bands were clipped together. He lifted my anklesto him, and in another minute they were clipped tight, too!"What are you doing?" I asked, squirming on his lap to see if I could get loose. Igot nowhere, of course, and his hand stroked my bare bottom."I am about to beat you," he announced calmly. "With this strap you so kindly 
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brought. I shall tie you by the throat to a tree, and then I shall beat you. It will,you must know, cut your body terribly, but I may do as I wish with my slave."
"But why?" I asked in anguish. "What have I done?""You have done nothing," he answered, his calm com­pletely unchanged. "Aslave may be beaten for any reason or no reason. Why do you not run from me?""How can I?" I asked miserably. "You've tied me so I can't move.""But surely this is something you are familiar with?" he pursued in a reasonabletone. "If you are slave and chained, it is never possible for you to run. And youare also always beaten terribly without reason. Is this not so?"I opened my mouth, then closed it again and bit at the in­side of my lip. I knewdamned well that he had never tied me up like that before, and that's why I'd beenable to run away from him. And I had to admit that the switch, though it hurtawfully, never did more than bruise me a little. I felt the bar­barian waiting forsomething, and I sighed."All right," I grudged, staring down at the dirt and grass at the edge of theveranda. "You've made your point. But I still don't like wearing bands or gettingswitched." "The bands are necessary and you will grow used to them," he answered withsatisfaction. "The switching you may avoid simply by obeying me. I do not giveyou orders for my pleasure, wenda, but for your safety. You do not know thehazards of this world." He threw the strap away, then reached down to unclip my ankles. I waited for himto do the same for my wrists, but it didn't happen. Instead, his hand stroked meagain."Now what are you doing?" I asked in exasperation. "I want to get up and getdressed." 
"There is no need for haste," he murmured, turning me 
126 sharon green 
over in his lap so I could see Ms grin. "Know you that I have seen slave womentaken by the Hamarda made to serve their masters well. I would teach you theway of this, so that should you someday find yourself true slave, you will knowwhat is required of you."At that point I didn't know what to say, but words were entirely unnecessary, andtruthfully I was speechless anyway. I'd thought I knew something about male-female possibilities, but those Hamarda were totally unbelievable. The barbarianswore that the slave women always had their wrists chained behind them, but hewas enjoying himself too much to be overly concerned with the truth. When Inearly had hysterics he relented and removed the clip, then comforted me in amore conventional manner. I wasn't exactly comforted, but it was a good deal 
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better than hysterics.
Much later, the barbarian had my ankle in his hand and was trying to tickle the
bottom of my foot, when I felt some­thing unexpected. I listened hard to make
sure, then leaned up on my elbows.

"Someone's coming," I told him quietly. "From that way."He was on his feet and reaching for his haddin and sword-belt so fast that I blinked. "How many?" he asked calmly while dressing himself. "How far are they?""There are two," I answered, "and they're about five minutes or so away. A manand a woman." He nodded without taking his eyes from the direction in which I'd pointed. "Ishall greet our visitors. Do you go now and dress yourself."I suddenly realized that I was stark naked, and people were coming! I hurried tothe pack that held my imad and caldin, then went into the camtah. By the time Ihad everything tied that should be tied and went back out again, the people wereriding into the camp. The girl rode behiflS the man on his seetar, a pack seetar following along after the first The man was grinning broadly, and so was thebarbarian. "Aldana, Tammad," the man said in greeting. "This camp-nig place brings anunexpected surprise. I am pleased to see that you have returned—and in time forthe Ratanan." "Aldana, Faddan," the barbarian answered. "It was always my intention to be atthe Ratanan, This Great Meeting shall see changes."
"My sword is yours, denday" the man said simply, ac-
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 127 
knowledging the barbarian as his leader. "May we share your camp and join youon the journey home?""Of course, Faddan," the barbarian said pleasantly. "Do you step down now and set your camtah beside mine. We may use the time of this day to dry from therains. Have you hunted?""Not this day," the man answered, swinging the girl down to the ground anddismounting himself. He was nearly the size of the barbarian, but the girl wasmore my size. They seemed to grow men larger than average on that world.Both newcomers had blond hair and blue eyes, and the girl stood quietly behindthe warrior. She wore imad and caldin, but in bright patterns rather than solidslike mine, and he wore a dark green haddin. The girl glanced over at me, and Icould see the gleam of a bronze-colored band on her neck.
"I have peral," the barbarian'told the other man, "also dimral against furtherrams. Your wenda may join mine in the preparation of it I shalj build a fire the 
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while you see to your camtah" 
The other man nodded and led his seetarr over to ours. He paused to examine
the two seetarr that the barbarian had ac­quired, smiled slightly, then began
unpacking.

In no time at all, the fire was blazing and the second camtah was up. A largecarcass, like the one we'd cooked oa the last nonrainy day, was already cut up.The barbarian pro­duced more of the wrapping leaves, and the other man ges-,tured to the girl. She went to him and he stood her in front of him, putting hishands on her shoulders. 
'Tammad, I would have you know my wenda," Faddan • said quietly. "She iscalled Doran, and I would ask the den-day to honor me." "Gladly will I do so," Tammad answered with a grin. "Doran, you are lovelierthan your name, and the honor is mine."The girl smiled sweetly and looked up at Tammad. "The denday shall have to earn his honor," she quipped. "I am not minded to agree with Faddan."The two men laughed and Faddan shook her slightly. "Ybur agreement is not necessary, wenda," he said, trying to sound stern. "This is a matter betweenl'lendaa! Go you now and see to the dimral" 
"My,wenda shall aid her," the barbarian said, and all eyes immediately turned inmy direction. "She was a gift to me 
128 sharon green 

from her father, whose land lies far beyond the house of the offworlders. They
know nothing there of the banding and training of wendaa, nor are our customs 
understood by them. It will require a good deal of teaching, but I shall one day see
her a proper wenda." 
"A glorious gift," Faddan murmured, examining me with his eyes, his mind full of
approval. "Dark-haired and green-eyed. And one such as she went unhanded?"
"Unhanded and living as she would," Tammad nodded. "It is a land of darayse,
and though many sought her, she ac­cepted none. Her father despaired until my
appearance, then contrived to send her with me upon my departure. Her look
pleased me, else I would not have taken the bother. She is called Terril."
"An odd name," Faddan mused, "yet one that suits her. Though she be five-
banded, denday, she will draw the eyes of many men."
"This is known to me," Tammad agreed with a shrug. "It shall make little
difference as the wenda is now my belonging. See to the dimral with Doran, 
Terril." 
The two men turned away toward Faddan's camtah and the girl came over to me,
staring curiously. We put two pieces of the dimral on sticks, and when the meat 
was hi the fire, her curiosity turned vocal. 

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"Are wendaa truly unhanded in your land?" she asked, and I could feel her
disbelief. "How, then, do men know if they may have the wenda they see?"
"The men ask," I told her, studying the five bands she also wore. "If the man
pleases her, she accepts him. If he does not please her, she sends him away."
"How many wendaa send away l'lenda?" She laughed. "You are no larger than I,
perhaps even smaller. Should Faddan displease me and I attempt to send him
away, his laughter would sound out for all to hear."
"The men of my land are better than Flendaa" I answered, feeling my tone going
stiff. "They need not be forced to leave. If they are not wanted, they go of their
own accord." 
"At the bidding of wenda?" she snickered. "They must truly be darayse—and 
more, to care so little for the wendaa of their land. I would not care to live there." 
"I do care to live there," I countered. "And I shall return there soon. Then I will no 
longer need to wear bands as a man's belonging." 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 129 
"The denday Tammad is a man among men," she mur­mured, glancing sidewaysto where Tammad and Faddan sat talking and laughing. "I have heard much saidof him, and many are the wendaa who would gladly be his belonging. If you donot please him, why does he allow you to wear the fifth band?""I please him well enough," I sniffed, feeling slightly put out "And he does notallow me to wear his bands, but rather forces me to wear them. But he does not please me at all, and soon I shall return home.""Do not speak foolishly, Terril," she grinned. "If you please the denday, you .shallremain his belonging. If you do not please him, he shall unband you and findanother to care for you, as he has done many times with other wendaa. He is not darayse, and shall not allow you to be unprotected.""In my land, I need no one's protection," I said airily. "My standing is such that alllook upon me with respect. I shall re­turn home as soon as I wish to.""And you shall not wish to, save Tammad gives his word," she laughed. "Wereyou to make the attempt sooner, it would be your wish to remain unseated thatday, and perhaps the next as well The denday Tammad will accept naught saveobedience from wendaa" "The denday Tammad may accept naught in all!" I snapped, feeling my cheeksredden. "I have given my word to accompany him for the while, and shall do sodespite my own wishes to the contrary. I, too, know something of honor."I know my head was up as I said that, and she stared at me again in uncertainty.Wendaa are supposed to be upin-volved with honor as honor is supposedly aman's province alone. I found that I meant every word I'd said to her, and that itgave me a sense of satisfaction. I was honor bound to complete the barbarian's 
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assignment, even if I had been tricked into accepting it I'd been wrong in trying torun away, because acceptance is acceptance. I'd complete the as­signment, andreturn home with no unpaid debts left behind me.The girl Doran—whose name was that of a pretty blue flower that grewwild—and I finished cooking and wrapping the dimral while the men socialized and drank drishnak. The fact that they did nothing to help didn't bother Doran inthe least, but it annoyed me quite a bit In spite of my own ex­
130 sharon green 
periences to the contrary, I can't help feeling that catching the beast is the easy partWhen the dimral was all wrapped, it was clothes washing time again. Anotherstream—or a different part of the same stream—helped to take care of that chore,and then Doran and I were allowed to bathe. I was slightly upset because Faddanwas there in addition to the barbarian, but I was too desperate to let that stop me.I'd always considered bathing something to be taken for granted, but on Rimilia itwas a luxury.The barbarian insisted that Faddan bathe first, so the man stripped and entered thewater while Tammad stood guard. Faddan let Doran hold onto his shoulderswhile he swam to the middle of the stream and back, and she acted as thoughshe'd just had a brush with death. When he offered to teach her how to swim andshe refused with a firm headshake and a large shudder, it made a little moresense, but not much. I'd been swimming since I was a child, and fear of water wassomething I could fed in others, but not understand on a per­sonal level.When Faddan climbed out, Tammad took his turn. After he'd splashed around abit to get wet, he came over to me."Would you care to visit the center of the stream, too?" he asked. "Fra a strongswimmer, and there is nothing to fear.""I believe I would enjoy that," I answered his smile. "The water holds no fear forme." "Good." He grinned. "Take hold of my shoulders and do not let go."He turned around and ducked low in the water to allow me to reach him more easily, and I had a nice ride out to the middle of the stream. The barbarian'smuscles rippled under his skin, his stroke even and sure, but I was a goodswimmer, too. The light stream current was no hazard, so when the bar­barianpaused to turn around, I let go of him and floated away on my own.He turned immediately fin the water, searching for me frantically; I waved to him 
with a laugh, then dived under. I didn't go very deep or very far, but when Isurfaced again I didn't need the thunder in his thoughts to bring me his 
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dis­pleasure. The look on his face was enough to make Sandy's quadriwagon stopenveloping again, and I didn't understand it, so I swam closer to him. 
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"What's the matter?" I asked-in a low voice. "I've been swimming for years.""This should have been told to me sooner," he said coldly, anger and annoyanceand an odd tinge of fear filling him. "Do you now return to the bank—above water!" He shoved me in that direction to start me off, then paced me as I swam. I stilldidn't know what he was so upset about, but he wasn't the only one. Faddan stoodon the bank look­ing and thinking pure grim, and Doran, who stood next to him,wasn't doing much better. When I got to the bank, Fad-dan reached down andhauled me onto it by one wrist, and the barbarian vaulted out alone a minute later.I stood there dripping and being dripped on by a coldly irate Tammad."I do not understand what troubles you," I said to him. That I am able to swimshould not cause such anger.""That you did not say you are able to swim is reason enough for anger," heanswered in a hard voice. "I had thought you close to drowning when you left me!But to be­have so foolishly as to swim beneath the water! Do you seek to end yourlife, wendaT' "You cannot swim underwater!" I laughed, finally under­standing. "That is whattroubles you! There is little to it, I'lenda. Would you have me teach you?"I was feeling pleased that I'd finally found something that that so-superiorbarbarian couldn't do, but his feelings and reactions confused me."Dress yourself!" he ordered, controlling his fury with much difficulty. "Wereturn to the camp."There was no longer anything to grin at, so I quietly put on the relatively cleanimad and caldin and gathered up the recently washed ones, plus some of thewaterskins. Faddan was still glaring at me, and Doran stood behind and to oneside of him, shaking her head ruefully at me. The way they all acted, you'd thinkI'd committed some terrible crime, but I hadn't done anything! The barbariandidn't say another word, and we all walked back to the camp in silence.Once we got there, Doran went to spread her wet imad and caldin on the roof of Faddan's camtah, and I did the same on the roof of Tammad's. I'd barely finishedwhen I was grabbed roughly by the arm and pushed by the barbarian ahead of himinto the camtah. I was able to turn to look at him when he paused to close theleather curtain, and the gloom wasn't so deep that I couldn't see the switch he was 
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holding. The fury in him hadn't eased off much, and I suddenly afraid."What did I do?" I demanded in a voice I couldn't keep from trembling. "Youhave to tell me what I did!" But he didn't tell me. Without a word he held me in place, bared me, and gave mea switching worse than any he had yet given me. I screamed and begged him totell me what I'd done, but he had no patience for explanations. With the fury wasoutrage and bitterness, and in my pain I, too, raged and called him barbarian. Iwas able to keep from projecting, but the barbarian's arm was stronger than mydetermination to give him no satisfaction. The tears came long before he let mego, and when he was gone, I lay on the floor of the camtah near my furs, cryinguncontrollably.A short while later, the curtain was moved aside and Doran came in. She sat next to me and stroked my hair, sym­pathy and compassion clear in her thoughts. Sheleaned over me to see what had been done, and a pang of strong, empai theticpain flashed before she sat back with a sigh, smoothing my hair again.'Truly, Terril, his anger was greater than it seemed," she said softly. "The insult was grave, yet tlendaa do not often take such strong measures with wendaa. A lighter switching is sufficient to teach her her place.""He hates me as I hate him," I choked out, feeling pain deep inside me, too. "Igave him no insult, yet he beat me I hate him!""Can you not see the insult you gavef she asked gently. "I had wondered at yourfoolish behavior. Know then, Terril, that to taunt a warrior with some lack of ability is insult enough, but to offer him instruction before others is to call himdarayse. Had you been warrior yourself, it would have meant your life orTammad's, but the double sound within your name does not make you Flenda. You are still wenda, and subject to Tammad's switch.""I wish I were Flendal" I answered bitterly, wiping at the wetness on my facewith the back of my hand. "It would give me such pleasure to endthat—that—barbarian! I hate him as I have never hated another!" '""You hate him, you are untutored in our ways, you insult him deeply, yet hekeeps you," she mused, curiosity and con­fusion mingled within her. "I wouldknow the why of it, but the denday's thoughts are not for me to know. Best you rest 
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now till the greater of the pain is past. I shall begin the peral, and you may aid melater." She went out, leaving me alone in the camtah, but I couldn't rest I stretched out on the leather, a fistful of the sleeping furs hi my hand, the ache inside and out ofme con­suming me. I finally knew what had caused the beating, but that didn't 
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make me hate him any less. I hadn't insulted him on purpose, but that had madeno difference to him. He beat me as if I were less than a seetar, and he kept meonly for the help he needed. Not a woman but a thing, to be endured until it was used and then discarded with relief. The tears flowed easily down my cheeksagain to my outstretched arms and I lay still, wishing that the predator's hunt hadbeen suc­cessful. The feel of its teeth in my flesh could not have been as severe apain as what I felt inside me then.
When Doran called me, I went outside the camtah. The sun was low in the sky,and the two warriors were with the seetarr, checking hooves and mouths,running their hands over high, broad backs. Neither one of them turned as Dbrangestured irie over."The pearl must be turned constantly," she directed, nod­ding at the relativelysmall animal that was skinned and spitted over the fire. It had been seasoned withbits of the wrapping leaf, and had already been cooking awhile.I took over at the crank of the spit, squatted down, and turned the thing as Istared into the fire. Doran went inside Faddan's camtah, but I was grateful forwhat she'd already done. I was sure she wouldn't have called me at all if shehadn't had to. As I turned the animal, I tried to pretend to myself that I was unawakened, that Ididn't know the feelings of the war­riors near the seetarr. They were both awareof me as I crouched near the fire, but pretending didn't help. I still felt Faddan'sfaint sympathy and curiosity; I also felt the hard knot of tangle in the barbarian,not the least trace of tender­ness or regret in him. A stone he was, and he carednothing for me.When Doran pronounced the animal done, Faddan lifted it off the spit, placed iton a leaf, and cut it up into quarters. There was more in my quarter than I couldpossibly eat, but I accepted it silently and carried it away from the fire that theother three sat themselves near. It was dark enough to 
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find a good shadow, and I crouched in it, waiting for the meat to cool.The conversation between the men slowly came to include Doran, and there waslaughter shared among them. I crouched in my shadow and ate as I watched themeat, real­izing there was more than physical distance separating me from them.They belonged together on their world, but I was an intruder who didn't fit in, anoutsider, for all that I knew their language. Before very long, I put the meat asideand simply watched them.The conversation continued for a short while after they'd finished eating, then thebarbarian stood up. Doran stood too, but with an odd sort of hesitation. Faddanstayed seated, but he smiled and nodded at her with deep satisfaction, so she 
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turned, still hesitantly, to the barbarian. He reached his hand out and stroked hercheek gently, then took her arm and drew her into his camtah. Faddan made himself more comfortable by the fire.I closed my eyes, but eyes are easily closed, and even open they wouldn't haveseen what there was to be felt inside the camtah. Doran teased lightly for a shortwhile, but only to hide the tinge of fear she felt. Her mind quivered slightly whenshe was first touched, but she soon settled down to pleasurable acceptance. Thefear disappeared completely and didn't return, because he was gentle with her, gentle and ten­der! Tenderness for her, beatings and no regret for me. I lay downon the dark ground and curled up tight, feeling his sat­isfaction grow higher."It is late, Terril," Faddan's voice came suddenly from above me. "Come, you areto share my camtah this night."I curled up tighter, wishing him away from me, but he was flenda. He picked meup with no effort, carried me to his camtah, and put me down on furs. The smellof the camtah was different, and the furs were hers, but she didn't need them. She had my furs, and she had—I wanted to cry, but it hurt too much."The denday honors me this night," Faddan said, feeling very pleased,deliberately ignoring my tight-clenched eyes and fists. "As it is Doran's time, it ismy hope that Tammad will give her his child so that I may raise it among those ofmy own that Doran shall give me. It is high honor to raise the child of a denday"
I didn't answer him, and couldn't keep myself from prob-
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ing at the other camtah, searching for the least indication of dissatisfaction. Ireached to his mind and .hers, but there was nothing but shared pleasure there,nothing but the happiness of two people together. I put my fingers in the bandaround my neck and pulled at it, not caring how the chain dug into my neck andfingers."It is our way, Terril," Faddan said gently, forcing my fin­gers away from theband. "It does not mean that Tammad no longer considers you his belonging. Hehas told me that he shall not unhand you."I opened my eyes to the shadows to find that his swordbelt and haddin were gone,and I' suddenly realized that he was untying my imad and caldin! I tried to getaway from him, tried to get out of the camtah—but he was I'lenda. His strengthkept me where he wanted me, the imad and caldin were removed, then he laydown to take me hi Ms arms. "The denday does not wish you to be alone this night," he murmured, holding meup against the warmth of his body. "He does me further honor by asking that I seeto you. I shall ease your hurt as best I may."He used me then as I'lendaa do, and his gentleness was bit­ter to me. I didn't want 
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to be used, but more than that I didn't want his gentleness! I struggled only a shorttime, then lay quietly and let him do as he wished. I wasn't a slave to be chainedand beaten, oh no. I was no less than a belonging— to be given to any manapproved of by him to whom I be­longed. I lay quietly in the cloaking darkness,seeing the difference clearly. 
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I was awake before everyone the next morning. I dressed quickly and quietly,leaving Faddan asleep in his furs, then went out into the pre-dawn stillness.The dark mass of seetarr were aware of me and I could feel their hunger, so Igathered tip the leftovers of the last night's meal and divided it among them. Igave a little extra to the barbarian's mount, and the gigantic male rested hisface on my shoulder as he chewed, thinking soothing thoughts at me. Istroked his neck awhile, letting him feel my gratitude, then turned back to the camp."How long have you been awake?" the barbarian askedsoftly as I stopped short to keep from running into him. His Jdeep calm was back, and I hadn't even felt it through the tur- ; 
x
moil in my own mind.
"Not long," I answered, dropping my eyes and starting to I step around him.
His hand touched my arm, and I was stopped. "No, I won't run again," I said,
answering the ques­tion I knew was in his mind. "I gave my word and I'll keep it." 
"The switching was too harsh," he said, still touching my arm. "I would offer
my apologies."
I nodded without saying anything, feeling the way my throat burned, making
it hard to swallow. There was no sense of apology or regret anywhere in him.
His hand went down, and I continued on back to the camp.
The first rays of the sun were just beginning to put color back into everything
when Doran appeared, looking radiantly happy. She hugged me in an effort to
express the joy of her feelings, and I patted her arm hi understanding. A
minute 

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later Faddan emerged from his camtah and she ran to him, throwing herself intohis arms. He laughed softly and hugged her, and she nestled close to him. 
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"How passed the night, Faddan?" the barbarian asked con­versationally as hehanded out pieces of dimral to all of us. "My wenda treated you well?""Aye, denday," Faddan answered, and I could feel his eyes on me where I stood,slightly off to one side. "I did not lack in the absence of Doran.""Good," the barbarian said. "And what thought you of the special gift she bringsto the furs?" "Special gift?" Faddan echoed in confusion. "My apolo­gies, Tammad, but I sawno special gift."There was a giant surge in the barbarian, but he had con­trol of it again before Icould analyze it and he said, "Per­haps I am mistaken, Faddan. Her ways are stillstrange to me. Let us eat and seek the road once more."We all ate in silence, then Doran and I gathered up the things to be packed by themen. With the camtahh rolled and tied in place we were ready, and Faddan putDoran behind his saddle before he mounted. The barbarian turned in his own saddle and put his arm out to me, but I knew where I belonged, where it was bestfor me to be. The day is clear," I said, looking at the ground. "I am to walk in your track."He backed the sector slightly, then leaned down to grasp my arm and swing meup to the saddle fur behind him."You are to do as you are bidden," he answered evenly, but I could feel the angertoward me again. "You shall not walk when you are told to ride."His mind was made up, and there was nothing I could do about it. We moved offtoward the road, Faddan and his seetarr going first. Doran held tightly to him,pressing herself as close as possible, indescribable contentment in her at thecontact. I put my fingers in the barbarian's swordbelt, said held on that way.At sundown we made camp again, and I helped Doran with the animal Faddan hadshot late in the day. She skinned the thing herself because I didn't know how to,and I realized that skinning was supposed to be a woman's job. There were a lot ofthings I didn't know how to do, and the barbarian had had to do them all. Nomatter how I tried to deny it, I was helpless in the barbarian's frame of reference,helpless 
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and worthless. It was enough to make any able person want to avoid mecompletely, and it was no wonder that the bar­barian looked at me as be did.When the meal was done, Faddan and Doran went happily to their camtah. There had been vegetables of some sort with the meat, and Doran had found them. I hadmerely washed them at her direction, then watched her wrap and place thembeneath the fire. The men had been full of praise for both of us, but theaccomplishment hadn't been mine, so the praise hadn't touched me. 
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I had wandered down to the seetarr again, and was assur­ing Tammad's largemale that I was fine, when I felt the bar­barian near me. His usual calm had been interrupted by a flash of annoyance, and that had brought him to my atten­tion. Isighed a little, wondering briefly what I had done this time, then turned to facehim. "It is time to be in one's camtah, not among the shadows," he said, looking downat me with no trace of the annoyance reaching his face. "Do you now come withme." I followed him without comment to the camtah, and then inside. He turned awayto remove his swordbelt and haddin, and when he turned back, he saw that I was already out of the imad and caldin. He hesitated briefly, strong control over hisemotions, then he sat next to me on my furs."Read for me this man Faddan," he said softly. Tell me what you see of him."So I was to be tested. Well, the notion wasn't unreasonable, and I'd been close enough to- Fadan long enough to have formed a few conclusions. I composedmyself for serious work, and closed my eyes."Faddan is a strong man," I reported, rechecking my data, "strong in his loyaltiesand strong in his beliefs. He is not as quick-tempered as some, and will use hisanger rather than let ft use him. 'He believes hi you and is loyal to you, but doesnot fear you. His fears are well known to him and ac­cepted by him, and aretherefore manageable to him. He weighs both sides of a question before makingup his mind, and would make a good leader, but needs someone to look up to."I opened my eyes, and could see his face pointed toward me, his attention sharpon every word I'd said.
"It is true," he mused. "You know the maa as I do, yet I 
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have known him since we were boys together. Truly, your gift shall be of greatvalue to me." He took me in his arms then, but I felt no satisfaction over the value I had to him. It was a value any Prime would have had, not a personal value. I made no effort tostop my desire from reaching him, and his satisfaction was so close to that ofFaddan's with Doran that I couldn't tell them apart. Of course, he was onlyreceiving my projections and building on them, but for the time I could tell myselfthat his feelings were his own. I knew then that I could never mean anything tohim other than as a Prime, but at least I could pretend. I was his belonging, but hewould never belong to me. 
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We traveled another two days and Doran taught me what she could, but I had littleaptitude for being a woman on Rimilia. The first night I tried putting thevegetables to cook on my own, and managed to burn my hand well in the process.It was all I could do to keep from projecting the in­tense pain, and the seetarr, especially the barbarian's mount, bellowed frantically until the rider hadsmothered my hand in a salve that deadened it I had been so shocked at the burnthat I hadn't even had the sense to dampen the pain myself, and when thebarbarian had finished with the salve I ran from him, shame making me want tohide. I used my own in­tense emotions as a block between me and the barbarian,un­willing to face the disgust I knew he would be feeling. I was still a burden tohim, Prime or no. I stayed with the seetarr, taking comfort from them, resigned tothe fact that many things were beyond me, but the barbarian's increasedannoy­ance and frustration when he came for me, still cut deep.We reached cultivated fields early on the last day, and by late afternoon weentered a surprisingly large town that was on the bank of a river. MurdockMcKenzie's report had men­tioned that there were many such towns, inhabited bythe most advanced group on the planet, Tammad's people. We rode downhill intothe town, the road becoming a broad cen­tral street There were a lot of peoplemoving around busily, making the place alive with the activity of their doings.Most of the men were dressed as warriors, but some few of them wore long, loose,wide-sleeved robes over their haddinn, and of these, most wore no swordbelt The women, all in imad 
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and caldin, were banded to a greater or lesser degree, but all were banded. I was
almost shocked to see how many of them had small children with them.We rode slowly down the street, and every man we passedgreeted Tammad by name. The barbarian returned the greet-t ings, also by name, and many of the women stopped to stare 
at him, longing clear in their faces and thoughts. When theysaw me behind him they frowned, but they weren't overly up­set. Obviously I wasn't the first to be banded by him, al­though my dark hair might be something new. Almostwithout exception, every man, woman and child's hair wassome shade of blond. ,
 The buildings we passed were of various sizes, but all wereone-story affairs and each stood close to the next, some of 
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them separated by a cloth-covered stall with items for sale onthe counters. The items were examined by people near thestalls, but only men did the buying. If a woman was alone,all she could do was look.
 We pulled up hi front of a wide building that had extra wide and high doors,with a large sign on it that had a pic­ture of a sector. Doran and I were swung tothe ground, and the men dismounted."Remain here," the barbarian said as he and Faddan tied their seetarr to tall poststhat seemed to be provided for the purpose. "We will not be long."He and Faddan disappeared inside the building, and I glanced at Doran, Shestood calmly and patiently, waiting un­til the men would finish their businessand return. I sighed a little, then tried to match her.In a very few minutes, standing in the hot dirt of the street becameuncomfortable. I shifted from foot to foot, wishing the barbarian had given methose buskins Denny had men­tioned. Mud might be messy, but at least it didn'tburn. I looked around to help me forget about my feet, and found that almostevery man passing by had his attention on me. I was stared at frankly and openly,and their grins said the same thing that their minds did. I expected to be annoyedbut I wasn't, and I didn't understand it. There was a small, narrow patch of shadow on the ground to my left, thrown by atying post, so I moved over to it It wasn't large enough to shade anything, but itfelt good on the bottoms of my feet. Men and women went by on the street, andlittle children played in the dust 
142 sharon green 
I felt the rage suddenly then, and it was almost unbeliev­able that everyone elsehadn't felt it, too. It was so strong it pounded at me, but people continued to passby unconcerned. I turned quickly in the direction it came from, seeing the seetar standing to the right of the building that the barbarian had gone into. It stood inan alleyway that probably led to the back of the building, staring out at the crowdof people, its rage increasing.Abruptly it trotted out of the alleyway into full view, in­creasing its pace,bellowing its intention to trample and destroy. It wore no bridle or halter, andwhen the passersby saw it they moved fast to get out of its path. Everyone ran—except some of the children who were paralyzed with fear. A number of thewarriors turned back and ran toward the chil­dren, but from the speed the seetar had picked up it was easy to see they'd never make it,I blocked out the horrified screams and desperate shouts and drew calm aboutmyself, moving at a run toward the seetar at the same time. I knew that the greatmass of emo­tions was too much for the seetar, that it was more sensitive ihan 
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normal to the people around it. It didn't understand what it was feeling, and theresult was intense rage. If it wasn't stopped, it would kill everyone it could reach.I projected calm at the seetar, and its giant head snapped around to me. Changingcourse without slowing down, it came directly toward me. I stopped running andwaited, urg­ing it to come and share my peace. I put my hand out, sym­pathizingwith its pain and offering understanding, and I felt its rage ease, allowing itsloneliness and confusion to show through. I comforted the confusion, soothed theloneliness, and the giant beast stopped in front of me, nudging me gently with itsnose. I stroked the nose, assuring the beast whatever help it was in my power togive."Never have I seen such a thing!" a man said from the awed and silent crowds.There was a murmur of agreement from the others, but mostly they were toonumb even to think. I took the opportunity to help the beast raise a small andfeeble barrier in its mind, and the barrier calmed it even more. "What has happened?" another voice demanded, a voice that was all too familiar.I turned to see the barbarian and Faddan coming out of the building, accompaniedby a third 
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man. Faddan hurried over to a pale and shaking Doran, but the barbarian and theother man came over to me. "Denday, I do not believe what I have seen with my own eyes!" a man said,coming out of the crowd. He was the same man who had spoken before, and hestared at me with the disbelief he spoke of. "The seetar was mad, yet she stoppedit with naught save the sweep of her arm!""I know this seetar," the man who had come out of the building with thebarbarian said shakily. "It was left with me for resale, yet I could find none tocontrol it. A mad beast, locked away from all it would destroy, and here itstands! How came it here?" "From there," I said, pointing toward the alleyway. "It stood there seeminglylost, and I but called it to me." "Called it to her!" the man from the crowd snorted. "It would have trampled allin its path, and nearly trampled her. The why of its stopping is beyond me!""She has great facility with seetar" the barbarian said evenly, but his mind boiledwith a monstrous anger—aimed again at me. I knew I'd somehow failed him yetagain, and I looked down at the dirt in defeat. "I shall send the seetarr to youwhen they are unburdened, Jezzar," he continued to the man who had come outof the building with him. "Do you see to their sale. Come, wenda." I started to follow him back to his mount, but discovered that I, too, was belingfollowed. The seetar kept directly be­hind me, and I stopped in confusion. 
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"I shall take the seetar," the man from the building said in a kindly way. Heproduced a leather rope from behind him and started to put it around the seetar's neck, but the seetar's^ eyes blazed and it rumbled warningly. He stepped backimme-'" diately, as did everyone else, but the beast calmed again when I put myhand on its neck. It lowered its head to my shoul­der, and leaned therecomfortably."The beast wishes to band her as its own," the man from the crowd laughed."Tammad, you must needs do battle for your wenda." The barbarian folded his arms across his chest and grinned with true amusement."I have often done battle," he said, "but never with a seetar. And what need would it have for my wendal It is wenda itself." The crowd roared laughter at this, and it was true. The seetar was a female. I had to calm her again because of the 
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laughter, but it was becoming increasingly easier to do. The barbarian came closerand studied the sector carefully, then turned to the man Jezzar."I would buy her from you, Jezzar," he said. "As the only alternative seems to beto sell my wenda to you, I shall have to offer a good price." "I would prefer the alternative, denday.n Jezzar grinned, looking at meappreciatively. "The wenda is one I, too, would keep five-banded. Yet I cannottake your price for the seetar. It would have done great damage had it not beenstopped, and in gratitude I would gift it to you. It will do well as breeding stock.""My thanks, Jezzar," the barbarian said warmly. "You shall have the first of itsoffspring. Come you now, wenda, and bring my seetar." He turned back to his mount again and I followed, feeling the old annoyance allover again. I let him lift me to the saddle behind him, the female seetar still sticking close to me, and we continued up the street through the parting crowd.
After we had gone a short way I muttered, "She's mine.""Did you speak?" the barbarian asked mildly, turning slightly in the saddle."I said the seetar is mine," I repeated in a louder voice. "She did not come to youfor comfort" "Ah, I see," he murmured. "You called to the seetar, but not aloud. And she needed naught save comfort?""She needed understanding, too," I said, "but comfort most of all. I comforted herand she's mine." "But wenda cannot own property here," he said in' a smooth, easy way. "You aremy belonging, and what was yours is now mine. How, then, may the seetar be yours?"
"She is mine!" I insisted stubbornly. "Take her if you can!" 
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"Now you give my own words back to me." He laughed. "You are able to call toher and I cannot The seetar is yours."He faced forward, and I sat there behind him trying to fig­ure him out I'd expecteda fight from him over the seetar, but he'd given up any claim to her just like that Itcould have been that he thought he would own her anyway when I left, but I didn'tthink that was it. It was almost as if he didn't need to prove his superiority in sosmall a thing, al­most as if he were rewarding me for proving my point with 
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his own arguments. He was feeling pleased, and I didn't un­derstand why.Faddan and Doran turned off at a building, raising their hands in farewell, but wekept going until we came to a much larger building than any of the others, eventhough it was still single-story. It stood to the left of the road, was faced withsome sort of stone, and had a double-doored en­trance at the top of two steps. Thedoors were made of wood, but were metal braced, and a higher, seetar-sized door was all the way to the right. We made our way to the sector door, and it openedfor us. An older man stood there, grin­ning up at Tammad."It is good you are returned home, denday," he said. "All is as you left it."*'I would expect no less, Bollan," the barbarian answered. "I shall unburden the seetarr, and would have your Gilor await me in the hall.""It shall be done, Tammad." The man nodded, then stepped back out of the way.We rode past him, my seetar a bit nervous, and entered a covered alleyway thatled to the rear of the building. There was a heavily fenced in, partially roofedcorral about twenty feet from the back of the build­ing, and that's where we went.When we were all inside the corral, the man called Bollan closed the corral gatebehind us. "Do you now see to your seetar," the barbarian said, set­ting me down on theground. "I shall be occupied with the others, and there is fodder aplenty.""I don't mind taking care of her," I said, watching him dismount. "As long as youremember that she is mine." He snorted briefly in amusement, then turned to the four seetarr he had to tend to,. I looked around and found a nice piece of carcass for my girl, thenencouraged her to eat it She didn't need much encouragement as she was veryhungry, but she wasn't used to being fed without an aura of fear about her. Istroked her side as she chewed, aware of her deepening happiness.Suddenly I was nudged very gently from behind, and turned to see Tammad'ssaddle seetar, less his saddle and bridle. He snorted very softly at me, and let it beknown that he was hungry. I shook my head in mock annoyance, then choseanother piece of carcass for him to eat. I went back to my girl then, but the bigmale picked up the meat in bis teeth 
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146 sharon green 
and carried it over to us before he began eating. I laughed softly, and stroked him, too. "My seetar cares for you," the barbarian said from where he stood watching mygroup. He had all of the packs and halters off the animals, and they weresearching for food. "I had not understood this, but you knew of it"It was more a statement than a question, but I nodded any­way. "I knew. Histhoughts are very lovely and calm—and comforting.""So you sought comfort from him—and not escape from me," he said with a smallsmile. "I had thought it the latter. Come to the house with me, wenda." I assured my girl that I would not be far away, then walked over to him. Helooked down at me in a strange way, his emotions confusing me for a minute, butmen their mean­ing was obvious. His pleasure came from being home again, hisrelief due to the fact that I was still relatively in one piece. If I had managed to dosomething serious to myself, it would have been inconvenient to, his cause. Hestroked my hair briefly, then led the way to the house.The back door opened into a moderate-sized entrance hall, which had fourdoorways. A handsome older woman stood quietly in the hall, smiling warmlywhen she saw the bar­barian. "I am much relieved that you have returned, Tammad," she said. "I feared that thisjourney would swallow you forever.""There are still many journeys to make, Gilor." The bar­barian grinned. "I am notyet to be swallowed. I would have you know my wenda Terril, and ask that yousee to her hand. It was burned on our journey here.""Gladly will I do so," Gilor answered, looking me over. "Bollan has already hadme put furs for her near yours. Do you wish food?""See to her hand first, then we both shall eat," he directed. "And do not allow her to aid in the cooking of it! She must heal before she faces further peril."He strode out through one of the doorways and Gilor watched him go, then turnedto me with a grin."Such a sour expression!" She laughed. "The denday'a wenda does not care for his humor?" "It was not humor," I told her dismally. "I burned my hand attempting to cook forhim. I shall not make the at­tempt again." 
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"You must do more than make the attempt," she said firmly, wagging a finger atme. "Think you the denday shall keep his bands on one who cannot tend to his 
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needs? One may spend only so much time in the furs.""I am banded for reasons other than cooking or furs," I told her, staring at thefloor without seeing it "Your denday cares nothing for me, and shall soon returnme to my own land. Then shall he search for one who knows the way of his needs.That one is not I." "I would see the burn," she said after a moment, holding her hand out. Althoughreserved, she was a friendly person, but would not allow her curiosity to askfurther questions. I gave her my left hand, and she unwrapped the dirty bandagefrom it "It has begun to heal," she said, studying the large, round, shiny-red sear on theback of my hand. "It is fortunate that salve was applied to it Come, I shall addmore salve and a clean bandage."I followed her through one of the doorways other than the one the barbarian hadtaken, finding a short hall that led to a large kitchen. There were four young girlsmoving about in there, but they stopped to stare at me when we walked in. Gilorwas wearing four bands, but the younger blondes had only one each, and that ontheir left ankles. Not only was there little friendliness in them, but two of themwere down­right hostile—inside. Overtly, they smiled."Do you return to your work," Gilor said to them. "Is the denday to turn awayguests at his door so that you may stand about and gape? Terril shall notdisappear, and you may know her when the men are seen to. Quickly, now!"The girls grinned and turned back to what they'd been do­ing, but they still hadtheir attention on me. I was being sized up, but with different feelings from theones the men had shown. Gilor found a pot of salve and a clean rag and took careof my hand, then went to a large kettle that hung on a hearth and scooped out twometal platesful of what looked like stew. An oversized goblet was filled from apitcher, two smaller shallow-bowled, long-handled versions of the kettle-scoopwere put near the plates, then she turned back to me."Do you carry your own plate," she directed. "I shall take Taramad's." 
"I would take the denday's trejna to him," one of the girls 
148 sharon green 
interrupted, coming over to stand in Gilor's way. She was tall and big-busted, witha very pretty face."It matters not" Gilor shrugged, looking around her. There are other thingsrequiring my attention. Terril, go you with Rapan. She will show you toTanunad." Hie girl Rapan smirked and picked up the plate, scoop, and goblet, then gesturedwith her head for me to follow. I took the other plate and scoop and went along, 
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bat not hap­pily. Rapan was one of the two who had felt hostility at myappearance, and that hadn't changed. She still felt hostile, but she was alsodetermined about something. I followed her, wondering what she was going todo. We went back to the entrance hall, then through the door­way that the barbarianhad taken. The doorway was hung with a piece of material, and the materialparted to show a large room that was wood-paneled and decorated with weapons.It had long, wide windows, but the windows were barred and could be shuttered.Tall torches hung as yet unlit from sconces on the walls, and what seemed likehundreds of pillows were scattered all over die floor on top of a furlike carpet.The barbarian stood looking out of one of the win­dows, but he turned when weentered. "Trejna at last!" he said, grinning at what Rapan was car­rying. "I shall not miss the taste of dimral after so long a time with little else. Give it here, Rapan.""Aye, Tammad," the girl said with a coy smfle aimed at the barbarian. "I, myself,prepared it for you, hoping it would please you. You have been so long away, wethought you had forsaken us." She handed him the plate, but held the goblet to theside and back away from him as he reached for it, rubbing herself on him as hemoved closer. "My father win be here to greet you this night, Tammad. He wouldnot be displeased were you to speak with him of me.""And so I shall, Rapan," he answered, leaning over just a little farther to take thegoblet from her. "His switch has too long been kept from its proper use, and heshall know of it" "But—you would notl" she protested, feeling a deep upset and frustration.Tammad, I long to be yours! I would please you more than she whom you havethis time banded. I beg you to ask my father for me."The barbarian had crouched to set his plate and goblet on a small, very low table,but he stood straight again to place his hands on the girl's shoulders. 
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"Rapan, it is not seemly that you speak so," he told her gently. "Your father sent
you to me so that you might be seen by my warriors more easily than in his house.
He hoped for a good match for you, and had found one even as I prepared to leave
on my journey. You shall be banded this night, wenda, but not as mine." 
"I shall not!" she screamed, twisting away from bis hands. "I shall go with no
other!" 
She raced out of the room, anger and hurt filling her so completely that she had
forgotten all about me. I sighed for her, then turned to see the barbarian watching 
me. 
"Do you sit beside me as we eat," be said, folding himself onto a large pillow. 

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"There shall be many warriors here this night, and I wish your presence as well.Tell me, wenda, are you able to know truth from falsehood too in a man?""Sometimes," I answered, sitting on a pillow near Ms. I wasn't used to the angle,and almost tumbled off ft onto the floor. His control was masterly—not a trace ofthe vast amusement he felt reached his face. "But there's no need to try beingdiplomatic," I added; "Your laughter is something I can always feel.""I but remembered my experience with your chairr," He grinned, leaning over tothe small table to scoop up some of the stew. "Each man does best with his ownbelongings about him. This night you are to read my warriors, wenda, 1 sus­pect afollower of my enemies is among them, but each has been with me too long to belightly accused. I would be pleased to learn that I am mistaken, yet are you to seekear­nestly.""I'll do what I can." I shrugged. "If the man feels no guilt over betraying you, or ifthere's someone who dislikes you personally but would never betray you, therecould be some confusion. Keep the point in mind.""I shall." He nodded. "The final decision is ever mine to make. Why do you noteat?" I looked down at the plate of stew in my hand, then used the small scoop to trysome of it It was spicy and very tasty, so I began eating. After a minute or two, Ilooked up again."That girl Rapan is in love with you," I told him quietly. "You still see nothingwrong in giving her away to someone else?""The girl is very young," he answered, giving most of his attention to his food."Yet even that has no bearing. She is 
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not mine to give, wenda, but her father's, and he, too, knows that what she feels for me is not as deep as what she may one day feel for another. He has made awise choice for her, and awaited only my return to give her to the warrior whodesires her. In this manner, she will not think herself stolen from me in myabsence." We went back to eating in silence, but I was still disturbed. The giant barbarianwas as calm as ever—wasn't there a woman anywhere he cared about?He kept bis eyes on me until both our plates were empty, causing me to growincreasingly uncomfortable under that light-blue stare. I knew he was waiting tosay something else, but I had a feeling it had nothing to do with the men hewanted me to read. After the last bite was down, I found I was right"Wenda, there is yet another matter to speak of," he said, and his mind and tonehad hardened. The last switching you received was, as I have said, too harsh. Butfor that, you would now ache mightily, Never again shall I see you risk yourself 
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as was done this day, else you shall feel my wrath in your deepest parts. Are mywords clear to you?""But I was in no danger," I protested, feeling the blazing edges of the wrath he'dmentioned. "That seetar wouldn't have...." "That seetar had to step but once to put an end to your he interrupted hi that coldfury he was so good at projecting. "Best you remember what I have said, as I shallnot warn you again! Return these plates now to Gilor, and say that she is to findclean imad and caldin for you. I shall send for you when I require your presence."He handed me his plate and scoop, but kept the goblet. I took the things withoutanother word, then went looking for Gilor, finding her easily just outside thecurtain hi the small entrance hall. She laughed softly and led the way back to thekitchen to get rid of the plates, then again to the hall and through yet anotherdoorway and hall to a large room with sleeping furs hi the middle of it. It hadpillows scattered around the floor, a tall, barred window and little else, but I wassure the room was the barbarian's. Gilor closed the room's door, then turned to me. "I shall fetch the imad and caldin in a moment," she said with a twinkle in her eye."First, I wished to ask if you still 
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believe the denday does not care for you. I had thought you to be wrong, and nowI am sure of it." "And I am sure I am not wrong," I answered, curious as to ter interest. "Nothinghas occurred to make me believe other­wise." "Heard you not his words?" she demanded in outrage, her fists on her hips. "Hedoes not wish you to risk yourself. Are those the words of a man who caresnothing for his wenda?" "Those are the words of a man who cares only for his Prime," I answered bitterly."Were I to die now, he would be inconvenienced, therefore he threatens to beat me to make me obey him. Yet I, too, care nothing for him or his beatings. I shalldo as I please.""So you care nothing for him, eh?" she mused, staring at me through narrowedeyes. "I know not the ways of such in your land, Terril, yet do I know the look ofa woman who longs for a man. Your need seems deeper than Rapan's yetstrangely, for you wear his bands, more hopeless. This I do not understand.""There is little to understand, Gilor." I shrugged, feeling that understanding wasimportant to her. "He does not see me as a woman, though he uses me as one.And gives me to other I'lendaa as one. I am not accustomed to obeying men, noram I accustomed to being handed about among them. I shall not allow it anylonger."'Terril, these are l'lendaa you speak of, not darayse," she warned. "Have a care as 
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to how you anger them. Tammad will not hesitate to teach you your place."
"He has already taught me my place," I answered, begin­ning to feel the anger that
had been building so long. "Beside him when he has need of me, beneath him
when he desires me, behind him when he tires of me. I shall now find my own
place."
"Which will be where?" she asked, a bit nervously. "There are no others."
"Then I shall create a place," I said, starting to think about it "It cannot be
impossible for one of determination. I shall consider it."

I sank down onto the furs, then stretched out comfortably. There had to be a way
out of the rut of wenda, and if I didn't look for ft, I deserved whatever I got. I
couldn't very well complain about how he treated me if I let him get away with it
without a murmur. 

152 sharon green 

Gilor stood where she was for another minute, then turned silently and went out. Itossed some ideas around until "she came back with the clean clothing, then askedabout a drink of water. The barbarian had gotten a drink with his meal, but I hadn't. The request resulted in a pitcher and goblet being brought in, so I decidedto see how far things could go."Gilor, I would also like a bath," I announced. "Is there a place for bathing here?""We bathe in the river," she answered, "but the sun is nearly gone. Best you waitfor the new sun." "I have little care for waiting," I insisted. "Surely some­thing may be done?""I know not what." She shrugged. "There has been no provision made for suchthings. Do you now change to the new imad and caldin, so that...." ' "I shall not," I interrupted with determination. "I shall not wear clean clothing if Imay not bathe.""The word was not mine." She shrugged again. "The den-day will not be pleased.""I care little for his pleasure." I shrugged too. "You may tell him if you wish.""I shall," she said, giving me a calculating stare. "If you wish his attention in sucha manner, so be it I would not care for attention of that sort." She turned and went out, and I leaned back in the furs. I wasn't very eager for thesort of attention Gilor was talking about, but it had to be risked if things weregoing to change. The barbarian might never see me as a woman, but I'd force himto see me as something other than a tool.It didn't take very long before the door opened again, but this time it was mynemesis himself, filling the doorway as he came through it. My insides twingedwhen I saw the switch he carried, but I tried not to let it ruffle my calm.As he came toward me I said, "What made yon change your plans?"He broke stride and frowned. "My plans have not changed," he said. "They are as 
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they were."
"Not if you use that on me, they're not," I countered, nod­ding toward the switch.
"I can't control myself well enough after a beating."
He thought about it in annoyance for a minute, but as far as he knew, I was telling
the truth. I'd been too far off-bal-

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 153 
ance to use pain control when I should have, but I was begin­ning to pull myselftogether again."There is perhaps enough time for a light switching," he mused, studying me as Ilay in the furs. I wanted to be so many things to him, wanted so much to haveeverything I couldn't have. Beat the Prime and use her in the furs, force her to doher job and then return her with indecent haste. He couldn't see me in his world,but at least he would know I was there. "Could be," I agreed evenly. "I know by now that I can't stop you, but it might notbe the best of ideas. I won't go back on my word to help you, but there are otherthings I can do to make my presence even more unpleasant than it has been. I'vebeen conditioned against doing most of those things, but I think I can breakthrough it now. Would you like me to try?""What things do you speak of?" he asked curiously, and it was interesting to seethat his curiosity was genuine. He really did want to know more about my"power.""Well, I can project to men just as I do to animals," I said slowly. "You've feltnothing but general or accidental projec­tions, and those not even at full strength.Try this."I put together a clear picture of my emotions during the last switching, the pain,the shame, the frustration of not being able to stop it, and imposed the picture onhis mind. There was a great deal of resistance in my own mind during the process,but I worked in spite of it. His face flushed red when he had the picture, and hisfree hand went back behind him as he literally felt everything I had felt."Pain is an emotion too, you see," I explained as I felt him clamp down to easewhat he was experiencing. "As an emo­tion, I can project it any time I wish, andin future I shall, but not only to you. If I'm given pain, everyone within my radiuswill feel it 111 leave it to you to make the explana­tions.""I now understand your point," he said in a choked voice. Truly, wenda, you havelearned the lesson well. Right lies in the ability to do, and you have proven yourright. What is it you wish?""Merely a bath," I answered. "Then I'll be glad to change my clothes.""You shall have it," he said coldly, then turned and walked out As soon as thedoor closed, I gave in to the exhaustion 
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154 sharon green 
that had been trying to claim me and lay without moving. Projecting a specific
picture to humans is extremely draining, and my top range was about twenty-five
feet, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that the barbarian
believed me, and he did. My place was beginning to change.
It took a while to restore myself, but by the time I did, my bath was ready. Water
had been heated in the kitchen, and a large wooden tub had been brought in, but I
had no intention of being too choosy. I bathed in the kitchen with a good deal of
contentment, barely noticing the giggles of the three girls. What I did notice was
that Rapan was no longer with them.
By the time I was dressed in clean clothes and had my hafr brushed, it was full
night outside and the torches bad been lit Drying around the five bands had been
extremely annoying, and my success with the switching episode tempted me to
see what could be done about those chains. I'd have to give it some thought, but
the next day would be soon enough.
I was just coming in from checking on my seetar, when I met Gilor in the 
entrance hal|. She smiled briefly and said, Tammad would have you join him in
the meeting hall. You may take a plate to him at the same time."
I almost protested the idea of serving him, but then real­ized I might need an
excuse to be where he was. I followed her to the kitchen to collect a big platter of
meat chunks, then went back through the curtain to the large room, which was
now torchlit and no longer empty. At least forty men lay about on the pillows,
each holding a goblet, some few helping themselves from the platters the three
young girls were pass­ing around. The strong, blond l'lendaa laughed and spoke
with each other, and in the midst of them sat a relaxed Tam­mad. I made my way among the men on the floor, trying to be casual but having a hardtime of it. The men I passed fol­lowed me with their eyes, their appreciation vocalas well as emotional, more than a few of them snatching at the hem of my caldin. It came to me then to wonder what would become of me if the barbarian were somehow killed. Those men were nearly the same size as their denday, and it struck me hard that the only thing that kept their hands off me was the fact I worebands. Unbanded, I could have been taken by any or all of them, and the nearestpeacemen would be too far away to do any good. I hurried a little, and got to thebarbarian as soon as I could. 
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Tammad looked up as I reached him with the platter, and he gestured toward thelow table near him. 
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"Do you set it there, wenda" he directed with a faint grin. I looked in his eyes, andsuddenly knew that he'd guessed my thoughts about his men. I put the plate down,feeling that I'd lost more ground than I'd gained, and he pulled me to the floornear him. "You must have a care how you deal with me," he murmured in my ear."Should I be unable to defend my right to you, you would pass to another who hasnot given his word to return you to your people. Your power would then be oflittle aid to you, as possession of an offworlder wenda would be jealously foughtfor. Think on it." He leaned away from me to greet some newcomers, and I did think about it.Needless to say, I didn't like the trend of the thoughts.In another minute, two men walked in together and came directly over to thebarbarian. One of them was a good deal younger than the other, but they wereboth trim fighting men in their prime. They crouched down near us and grinned."Aldana, Tammad," the older man said. "It is good that you have returned.Kennan here has been most impatient.""Aye, denday." The one called Kennan grinned. "Though had I known youtraveled to band a wenda such as this one, I might have traveled with you."The older man laughed along with Tammad and clapped Kennan on the back."Truly said, Kennan," he chuckled. "The wenda is Indeed worth a man's travelingfor. Faddan, too, speaks highly of her in the furs. Are there others of her sort inthe land which you visited?""Many." The barbarian grinned, enjoying the blush on ray cheeks. "She and hersisters are unused to the ways of I'lendaa and have much to learn, yet should shedo well, the others will not prove difficult to take. They live among darayse and welcome the appearance of a man.""So you say!" I snapped, finding it impossible not to remember how the womenhad clustered around him at Jan's party. "My sisters care nothing for great hulkingbrutes, and would welcome you with the lack of their presence did they but knowyour purpose!"The three men laughed at that and the older man said, "She has a sharp tongue,denday, and does not seem to enjoy her place as your belonging. Was she takenduring battle?" f "No battle, Loddar," the barbarian said, taking a strand of 
156 sharon green 

my hair to toy with. "She was gifted to me by her father, he knowing full well
that the darayse of bis land would not chal­lenge my taking of her. Though
broken in body, her father is true l'lenda." 
"I do not see Rapan," Kennan commented, looking around the room, "She has
not taken ill?" 
"Rapan remains near her furs," Tammad answered, glanc­ing at the older man. 

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"She insists she will belong to no man, and refuses to join us here.""Ah, wendaa" Loddar sighed, shaking his head. "And she is but the first of mydaughters, I wish you joy in the banding of her, Kennan. You may find little joythereafter." "Kennan shall not be father to her, Loddar." The bar­barian laughed. "Thereinlies a great difference,"True," Loddar grinned, "and a difference all men may ap­preciate. I shall fetchher, Kennan." He stood straight again and left the room, and Kennan watched him go with agrin. "I see I shall have little peace for a time," he said to Tammad. "My wenda, too, does not come willingly.''"It keeps a man from becoming set in his ways," the bar­barian commented, hiseyes on me. "Spirited wendaa make the struggle more interesting."The men of my land have more pride than to force them­selves where they are notwanted," I put in casually, exam­ining my nails. "Do l'lendaa know nothing ofpride."Both men stiffened slightly, then the barbarian shook his head. "Fortunate is thisone that she was bora wenda" he said to Kennan, then tugged at my hair. "Know,would-be warrior, that it is ever a part of wenda to challenge the man who wouldtake her. To submit meekly would make her slave, and l'lendaa do not care to possess slaves. A man's true match, however, may be taught to accept him totune, and thereafter give herself to him willingly. It would be foolish to expectsuch acceptance on first meeting.""I have heard that your wenda is called Terril." Kennan chuckled. "Has she also been taught the use of a sword?""She must first be taught the lifting of one," the barbarian answered dryly. "Nowcomes Loddar with your wenda" We all turned to see Loddar coming back through the cur­tain with a strugglingbundle of girl over his brawny shoul­der. The other men in the room roaredlaughter and pointed, and the three other girls stared in reluctant fascination. Lod-
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dar brought Rapan over to us, and set her on her feet in front of him, turning her toface Kennan. "Know, daughter, that this warrior has purchased the right to band you," he saidwith his bands on her shoulders. "He is called Kennan, and shall take you thisnight.""He shall not!" Rapan said stubbornly. "If I may not have the man of my heart, Ishall have none at all!" "The matter is one for l'lendaa to decide," Loddar an­swered her. "L'lendaa have 
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decided. You may now band her, Kennah."Kennan grinned and pulled a small chain from his sword-belt, catching Rapan asshe tried to slip away from Loddar's hands. Loddar made no attempt to stop her,nor did he touch her again, but Kennan didn't need his help. He forced thestruggling girl to the floor, put his band around her right ankle, then removed theband from her left ankle with one surge of his well developed muscles. Hehanded the open band to Loddar, then pulled Rapan to her feet"Now are you my belonging, Rapan," he said, stroking her long, blond hair."You shall not regret ft.""I shall give you no pleasure," Rapan said through her teeth. "You will notpossess me long?""He will possess you as long as be wishes to," Tammad put in from beside me."Do not forget he is I'lenda. Do you use my house as yours, Kennan.""My thanks, denday" Kennan grinned. "I shall do so now."Kennan took Rapan by the wrist, then headed toward the curtained exit. Rapanwas pulled along, but she turned to give Tammad a desperate, pleading lookbefore the curtain closed her from sight. She was feeling miserable andfrightened, not nearly as defiant as she'd pretended to be.Loddar sighed, sat himself down near Tammad, and helped himself to one of anumber of goblets that stood on a nearby low table."Kennan shall be a good man for her," he said to Tam­mad, "yet her pleasuremay be slow in coming. She pines for you, denday, and she is as yet unbroached.Too, Kennan has waited overtong to possess her, and patience comes with greaterage than he has yet achieved."
"The matter will be seen to between them," Tammad said quietly. "Should she behis true wenda, it shall require the ef­fort of none save them to prove." The twomen sat in silence 
158 sharon green 
for a minute, then the barbarian tugged harder at my hair. "Come you closer to me, wenda," he directed. "I am weary from our travels, and the new sun shallshow much work as yet undone."He pulled me to his chest and folded his arms around me, but I knew it was justcamouflage. He had pinched me on the word, "work," reminding me what I wasthere for. I put Ra-pan out of my thoughts, closed my eyes, and went to work.It's sometimes difficult for empaths not to be accidently caught up by andsubmerged in the sea of emotions always surrounding them, and purposefulsubmersion is a relief and a release both at the same time. To me, it had alwaysfelt like taking a deep breath after ages of being forced to breathe in small,unsatisfying gasps, and I let myself slide into the sea current with a good deal of 
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pleasure. The general sense of emotions swirled and blended and I bathed in itfreely, some­times floating, sometimes swimming against the current. There wereso many men there, all feeling relaxed and happy. I touched each lightly, just inpassing, moved on to the next, then abruptly stumbled over a well-hidden rockand didn't need to float any longer. Most of the men who saw the barbarianholding me felt amused over it, some with wry, lighthearted envy, but the lastman Fd come to felt no lightheartedness. He was forcing complete unconcern, butun­derneath was a well-controlled mass of jealousy and hate. There was noloyalty there, I knew, and never would be.I checked the others in the room, finding a man who was scornful of thebarbarian, but there was no active hate in­volved. The rest were unremarkable, lacking criticism of any sort. I withdrew from the sea and opened my eyes again,then decided on a way to announce that the job was done."There is very little air in here," I said, sliding quickly out of the barbarian's grasp."I shall return to my quarters."I started to get to my feet, but the sash of my caldin was pulled hard, throwing meback onto the barbarian's chest. "You have not been given my permission to leave," he said in a mild tone, faintannoyance tinging Ms thoughts. "Do you now ask for such permission."I studied his broad, handsome face for a minute, then said, The air elsewhere is preferable to that which is here, O den-day. May I go in search of it?"A choking sound came from Loddar which was quickly muffled by his hand andturned-away head, The barbarian 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 159 
threw Mm an annoyed glance, then turned his attention back to me."Indeed you may, wenda," he answered evenly. "And I shall aid you in yoursearch." He got to his feet in one fluid motion, pulling me up with him, then headed out ofthe room, hauling me along behind him by the sash. I had a good chance to lookaround before the curtains closed behind me, and had no difficulty spotting thetwo men I'd found earlier. I was pulled all the way back to the barbarian's room,and die door was slammed closed behind us. "Who's the man sitting directly under that overgrown axe?" I asked beforemy—"owner" could open his mouth. All of the emotions roiling and building inhim stopped abruptly and he frowned down at me.
"That is Caffar," he answered. "Why do you ask?" * "Because he doesn't care for you," I said. "Such deep, strong hatred and jealousyisn't an everyday thing. If I had to bet on someone, it would be him, with theextreme left-hand man in the group of five over on the other side of the room as 
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possible second choice. He thinks he's better than you are, but who knows? He
may be right"
Tammad stood for a few moments deep in thought, then fi­nally remembered I
was there and nodded at me. 
"You have done well," be said quietly. "I had not known it could be accomplished
so quickly." He started toward the door, but stopped short of it and turned back to
me. "Should you again speak td me as you did this night, wenda, you shall feel
the switch no matter what the consequences. You have my word."
He continued on out and closed the door behind him, leav­ing me disgusted and
depressed. I hadn't wanted to dig at him, either in front of his people or alone
there in the room, but there was something about him that made me want to reach
him and jostle him around. I wanted to shake him out of that rigid control and
know what he was feeling deep in­side him, but all I'd succeeded in doing was to
set myself up for another switching. Which would bring me even more trouble
when he discovered that I'd been lying about project­ing. 
I got slowly out of my clothes then into the furs, tired from the long, eventful day.
I looked around in the dim torchlight, seeing things that were alien to my way of
life, also seeing 

160 shakon green 

the empty furs next to mine. Those furs were longer and wider than mine, quite a
bit longer and wider. It was foolish of me to want to sleep there instead, as it was
obvious I would never fit I turned my back on them and tried to sleep. 

The presence of someone else brought me partway out of a deep, sound sleep. The
someone moved around briefly then came closer, and the furs were tucked a little
more tightly about me. 
"Wenda sed Prime," a deep, soft voice murmured tone-lessly. "Ti l'lenda queren?" 

The voice said nothing more, and deep sleep came again. 
* 12 * 
When I woke in the morning, I dressed and went to the kitchen for something toeat Gilor and the three girls were there, and I had the impression they'd been upfor hours. Gi­lor looked at my hand but didn't change the bandage, and then gaveme a large bowl of something thick."I do not believe I care for the appearance of this," I said, studying the coarse-grained contents of the bowl. "Is there no meat at hand?" 
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"The meat is for l'lendaa," she said with slight annoyance. *Wendaa make do with such as you have. Eat quickly, Terril, as there are many things which mustbe done this day. The denday's house does not exist of its own." She turned away to do something else and I watched her for a minute; then lookedback at the bowl of thick meal. It wasn't very appetizing, and rd grown used ^tohaving meat for breakfast Leaving the bowl on the nearest board, I waited untileveryone's attention was definitely elsewhere, feelped myself to a chunk of meat,then left the kitchen. The meat wasn't dimral, and it was very tasty. I ate it with enjoyment, then wentback to the kitchen to refill the water pitcher. Gilor, having noticed the still-fullbowl, watched me curiously,, but she didn't comment. I had my drink, replacedthe pitcher in the barbarian's room, then went outside.My sector was happy to see me, and I was happy to feel her contentment. Shechewed at her own breakfast as I stood near her, and once again I was pushed atgently from behind. The barbarian's mount had come to greet me, but this time hewasn't hungry. He rumbled at me softly, pleased with the 
161 
162 sharon green 
calmer tenor of my mind, then turned his attention to my girl. She felt hisattention and was puzzled by it, and he was amused.I stayed with the seetarr, brushing first my girl, then the. barbarian's male, untilthey both shone a glossy black. When I finally stepped back to wipe away thesweat and admire my work, the two seetarr, understanding that I was through,proceeded to lower themselves to the ground and roll around contentedly. I don'tknow whether or not they heard my groan, but their comforting thoughts reachedme at the same time as the barbarian's laughter.He stood just outside the corral fence, and it was fairly ob­vious that he'd beenthere for some time. His calm thoughts never brought him to my attention when Iwasn't seeing him, and I didn't care for it I resolved to be on the alert for him inthe future. That is ever the way with seetarr" He grinned, letting himself into the corral.They must be well tied if the brush­ing is not to be undone.""From now on they can stay unbrusbed," I said sourly, watching the two ingratesgrunt and roll around with the deepest of enjoyment "Who am I to interfere withtheir con­tentment?" "Learning will come to you with experience," he said, looking me over with'acritical eye. "You, too, appear to have rolled in the dust. You may bathe in theriver when you join the others for the washing of clothing. My warriors will bethereto guard you." 
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"Your warriors can guard whatever they like," I answered, brushing my hair backout of my eyes. "Ill be bathing in my tub in the kitchen.""The tub has been removed," he said, folding his arms. "You shall bathe in theriver or not bathe at all. Here, / am denday. Do you wish to take my position, youmust face me with sword in hand. Is this your wish, O would-be warrior?""Why is my bathing in the kitchen a challenge to your position?" I asked inannoyance. "I didn't say you had to bathe me!" "I should not have allowed the tub to begin with," he an­swered, his tone stilleven. "Your obedience is not so remark­able as to merit reward. I was taken bythe surprise of your power, but shall not allow such to occur again. Do as youwill, wenda, but know that disobedience shall bring you pun-
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ishment—as with other wendaa. You may bathe in the river, but may not swim.Come you now to the house."He headed back toward the house and I threw the sector brush away and followed,silently cursing his stubbornness. He was determined to keep me as nothing butwenda, and if I tried to disagree he'd reach for the nearest switch. I'd tried to bluffmy way out of the corner, but he'd called my bluff and now I had to walk morewarily than before. If he ever found out that he'd backed down on nothing but anempty threat—Gilor was waiting in the entrance hall, and she smiled pleasantly when she sawme, then spoke to the barbarian. "May I now have the use of her, Tammad? Thereis much to do with Rapan otherwise engaged.""You may have her, Gilor," he answered with a faint grin, looking me over with agood deal more amusement than he was showing. 'Teach her what there is ofkitchen work, so that it shall no longer be a mystery to her."He strode on out through the curtains, and Gilor laughed softly. "You have nowfound a new place, Terril, yet shall it soon become familiar to you. Come, I shallexplain your du­ties."She led the way to the kitchen while I seethed quietly. She and the barbarian bothwere having a grand time at my ex­pense, but it might be possible to disappointthem. The mys­teries of a kitchen were ones I had no intentions of reading.Gilor had me wash off some of the seetar smell, then gave me a large bowl filledwith some sort of pod vegetable. She showed me how to open the pod to reach thevegetable in­side, providing another bowl to hold the shelled results. When she'dwatched me do it once and was satisfied, she started to turn away, then changedher mind. Terril,'' she said hesitantly, "during the last sun you spoke of being a—a Prime. Iwould know the meaning of such." 
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"It is merely my position in my own land," I answered, in­specting the podvegetable unenthusiastically. "A position of high respect—and no menial labor.""I know of such." She nodded, the hesitation immediately gone. "In a manner ofspeaking, a wenda denday. The Re-vanas to the south are ruled by wendaa, and sacrifice all cap­tured l'lendaa to them. Yet now are you the belonging ofTammad. Best you forget that which is past, and learn ways of your new land. It isin my mind that the denday shall not unband you." 
164 sharon green 
Not until Tve done his job for him, I added silently as she walked away. And a jobthat would not be long in coming. There was no telling how long I would spend atTammad's house, but it couldn't be too long. The Ratanan was soon due to 
convene. I spent the next hour or so getting on Gilor's nerves. When she came back tocheck on the pod vegetables, she found that I'd damaged most of them and hadmixed in a fair amount of shell with the vegetable. Her annoyance was of apleasing intensity, and it didn't take much of a touch to make her pull the wholething away from me. She tried me on stirring a thick soup next, and was appalledat the amount of soup I managed to slosh onto the floor. After she'd inspected themetal plates and bowls I'd supposedly scrubbed with sand, she gave up altogether."I shall inform Tammad that should he wish to have sus­tenance for his guests, hemust find other use for you," she said with her fists on her hips. "It is beyond mycomprehen­sion how -wenda may grow to your size and still have learnednothing. Here, take to him this trejna and be gone!"I took the bowl of stew she thrust at me and escaped, pausing near the curtain tothe meeting room only long enough to remove all traces of my grin. Wholeheartedcoop­eration can often get you out of unpleasant situations a good deal faster thanstubborn balking.I pushed the curtain aside to see about a dozen men sitting in a loose semicirclenear the barbarian. The men were wear­ing those robes I'd noticed earlier, andmost of them held piles of cured animal skins and pieces of charcoal. One of themen to the barbarian's right was speaking to him.". . . and should the raids continue, denday, I shall have nothing for the people ofour city," he said firmly. "How may my caravans arrive intact when the savagesare allowed to ride unmolested?" "I shall have a number of my warriors accompany your next caravan, Voldar," thebarbarian answered. "And should there be the need, we shall ride out in full strength at the conclusion of the Ratanan. We cannot survive without the caravans." "It is good you have returned, denday? another of them said. "As merchants, we 
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must have the support of Warriors if we are to see our city live and grow, but notmany of the Fkndaa are able to speak with us without insult, uninten-
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 165 
tional as it may be. To be merchant does not make a man darayse.""You yourself are proof of that, Naggas." The barbarian grinned. "Though amerchant these many years, you still re­main true I'lenda. It is good for a man toshow others that new ways may be learned with ease.""Less with ease than with hard work." Naggas laughed. "Though there is much tocommend the life of I'lenda, still do I find the many demands of a merchant's lifemore fasci­nating. And you, Tammad, have done exceedingly well as denday of our city, far better than the denday who was." "The man knew little of a city's needs." The barbarian shrugged. "We arefortunate that he knew equally little of the use of a sword. Bring the trejna here, wenda, 1 would taste it before the mold sets in." The other men chuckled, and I realized I'd just been stand­ing there listening. As Icarried the bowl toward him, I tried to control the light blush on my cheeks, butcouldn't seem to do it. I always did something wrong in front of him."A wenda worth the banding," the man Naggas comment­ed in approval as hestared at me. "Should you tire of this one as you did the others, Tammad, I wouldbuy her from you.""Best you bear in mind what you have learned as a mer­chant, Naggas." Thebarbarian grinned. "The most attractive bolt of cloth may be useless for practicalpurposes. This one shall take much teaching yet before she is worth theband­ing—if ever she is worth it,""You misbegotten son of strangers," I choked as the mer­chants laughed. As if Iwere there because I'd asked to be! I took the bowl of trejna and threw it at him with all my strength, then turned and ran from the room.I slammed the sleep room door behind me and went to the window, totally unableto control the misery I felt. "Useless" he'd called me, and it wouldn't have hurtnearly so much if it hadn't been true. On Central, I was respected as a Prime; onRimilia, I was useless. I put my hand on one of the window bars, and thegleaming, bronze-colored wrist band caught my eye. I looked around, saw anempty dagger sheath on the floor in the corner, went and got it quickly, thenforced it un­der the band. If I pushed hard enough, the band would open, and Ididn't care how much it hurt as long as the bands were 
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"No," the barbarian said, suddenly right behind me. "The bands shall stay as they 
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are." 
He twisted the dagger sheath oat of my hand, making me furious. "What for?" I
demanded harshly. "I'm obviously not fit to wear them. Go and find a kitchen
queen to band and leave me alone! And I don't care if you beat me for throwing
things at you. If I ever get another chance, 111 do it again!""You shall not be beaten," he said gently, holding me - against him in spite of mystruggles. "Do you not know, war­rior, that it is fitting for a man to speak well ofanother man's wenda, but not of his own? It was not my intention to give youinsult, yet I had forgotten how deep ran your pride. I ask your pardon."
"Just leave me alone," I repeated in a whisper, not even struggling any longer.
"Take your bands and your furs, and forget about me until it's time for me to do
my job. Til sit in a back room somewhere and not bother anybody."
"You shall remain in my bands as well as my furs," he said softly, stroking my
hair, "All know of your presence, yet even had they not known, I would not
allow you to do such a thing. It would not be fitting."
He picked me up then and carried me to his furs, and it was impossible not to
respond to him. He echoed my projec­tion more strongly than ever, showing that
my projection was stronger than it had been, which wasn't surprising. He finally
left me there in the furs, and when he was gone I had the usual trouble moving.
The upset reached me before I was physically aware of anyone's presence. I
turned my head to see Rapan in the doorway, and she stared at me, shaking her
head. "I do not understand," she said in confusion. "Had he just visited me, I
would be wrapped in bliss, yet you seem less happy even than L Does it mean
nothing to you that you wear his bands?"
"Wearing his bands means more than you know," I an­swered bitterly. "Were it
possible, I would gift them all to you, then you might have the pain of his touch."
"There is none more gentle than Tammad!" she said indig­nantly, holding her
head angrily high. "His every word and gesture, the wisdom of his ways—none
may compare! Though Kennan's touch was pain to begin with, even he has 
gentleness within him. Am I to believe die denday is less than Kennan?" 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 167 
"You may believe as you wish," I said tiredly. "A man need not be concerned withbeing gentle with one whom he cares nothing for. He keeps me in his bands andfurs as a monument to the fitting. For all else, I am useless."She started again, unable to understand or answer me, then said, "Gilor bade mefetch you to a meal. Afterward, we go to the river to wash clothing and bathe. Youare to come now." You are to come now. There was always something to do or somewhere to go onthat world. I got to my feet, straightened the imad and caldln, then followed her to 
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the kitchen. Gilor looked at me and frowned, then gestured toward a bowl oftrejna without saying anything. I took the bowl, ate what I could of the trejna,then left the rest and picked up my pile of dirty clothing. Beneath the two sets ofimad and caldin was a familiar looking brown haddin, which made me wonder how strong the river current was.When everyone was finished eating, we took our bundles of wash to the frontdoor, where a half-dozen l'lendaa were waiting to escort us. A small dirt road tothe right of the main road led to the river, and Rapan and the other girls walkedahead, the girls whispering question after question, Rapan answering eachcasually and with a shrug. The riendaa followed along a short distance behindGilor and me, and Gilor chuckled. "The others ask Rapan of Kennan," she said softly to me. "They, too, look forwardto first banding, and have great curiosity. Is it not so with all wendaa?" "It is not,so in my land." I shrugged. "My friends and I chose our first mencasually, knowing there was little differ* ence between them. It mattered notwhich we chose first" "And now you yourself have been chosen, and it matters a great deal," shemurmured. "Tammad is l'lenda, and shall do with you as he pleases. It is thiswhich disturbs you, is it not?""I care nothing for what pleases your denday," I said, kick­ing a small stone downthe road ahead of me. "He deems me useless, and I would be free of his bands and gone from the sight of him.""He does not deem you useless in all ways," she comment-ed, looking at me fromthe sides of her eyes. "I have rarely seen him in such high spirits as when he leftyou earlier, yet 
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you do not share bis high spirits. Is it possible to give a man such pleasure and yetbe untouched yourself?""I am touched," I answered heavily. "I am touched with pain as always. Why musthe take me so hard, Gilor? Though he cares nothing for me, is it beyond him to seewhat he does to me? He sees the pain of others, so why does he not see miner"Do yon show pain in his sight?" she asked gently, shifting the things she carriedto her left arm so she could put the right one around my shoulders. Hercompassion was strong, and I wanted to cling to it the way the tenna had clung tome. "From the little I have seen, Terril, you show him noth­ing of your pain. Aman often loses himself in the enjoyment of his wenda—the deeper his enjoyment,the deeper is he lost Yet Tammad is a man who would guard himself did he butknow of your difficulty. Why do you not speak to him of it?""And be deemed more useless still?" I asked. "I would sooner have the pain than 
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ease it in such a manner. I have shown him weakness too many tunes to wish toadd to it" "There is no shame in showing weakness." She smiled softly. It is one of the wayswendaa are more fortunate than I'lendaa. It is for I'lendaa to be strong come whatmay; we need not be troubled by so foolish a thing. To be free to show weaknessbrings a strength of its own.""Strength," I echoed, staring at the small clouds of dust our feet kicked up. "OnceI, too, had strength. Now it is gone, taken from me by the one who has taken me. Soon I shall be returned to my own land. Will my strength be returned also?""A woman gives her strength to the man she favors." Gilor smiled more broadly,squeezing me. "In such a way may she then share his strength. Tammad shall notunband you as quickly as you believe, Terril. I have seen him many times withwendaa he has banded, yet never has he seemed so satis­fied. He shall keep youlong, I think, and perhaps allow you to bear his child. It is a great honor to bear thechild of a denday*"Bear his what?" I asked in shock, staring at her wide-eyed. "I shall do nothing ofthe sort!" "The choice is his." She laughed contentedly. "Should he wish you to have hischild, you shall have it within you in spite of your protests. Have you never bornea man's child?" "Never!" I answered with a shudder. I knew the man was a barbarian, but to do something like that! Happily, I was 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 169 
well protected, and would remain protected until I was safely back on Central.We heard the sound of seetar hooves, and turned to see twenty I'lendaa riding upthe main road toward the far end of the town. After thinking about them for aminute, I de­cided that they were road guards like the ones we'd passed oa theway into town. There hadn't been a sign of them showing, but I'd hardly been ableto miss the alert attention of so many minds. The town looked to be wide-openand un­defended, but that wasn't the case. We reached the river after another few minutes of walking, and there wasn'tanyone else in sight Gilor mentioned with a grin that they usually went earlier,but the denday could not be denied his enjoyment. The guarding I'lendaa laughedat that and looked at me, and the young girls giggled. All, that is, but Rapan. Shejust took her clothes and began washing them.When all the clothes were washed—with soft, lumpy soap that Gilor had broughtalong—ft was time to bathe. Three of the I'lendaa had their backs to us, eyesmoving constantly in all directions, hands resting lightly on weapons, but theother three stood with folded arms and lazy grins, staring straight at us. The 
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wendaa didn't seem to notice the stares; they just stripped happily before slippinginto the water. I did the same but more quickly, wondering if there really wasdanger around. Wenda guard detail could always be a reward for good behavior.I used some of the harsh, lumpy soap fa my hair, then relaxed a bit and justsoaked. I was disturbed slightly by what Gilor had said about the barbarian'ssatisfaction, but finally decided that she was wrong. He was pleased with me inthe furs and in my job capacity, but he wouldn't dare try keeping me after theRatanan. I wasn't just any stray girl, I was a Prime! He couldn't decide to keep mein his bands and in his house forever. Bracing myself against the river current, Imade myself believe that.The I'lendaa didnt let us bathe long as the river was higher than normal due to allthe rain that had fallen. The current wasn't impossibly strong, but the other womendidn't know how to swim and the men were nervous. I climbed out with reluctance and dressed quickly, sneering at myself for not swimming in spite of thebarbarian's orders. Myself sneered back with a very vivid picture of the switch thatwould save 
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been used on me, and asked dryly how well I would have been able to control thepain during the switching. I said nothing to that, but added the question to the restof my wor­ries.When we got back to the house, we went around to the rear and spread the wetclothes over tightly stretched pieces of netting, then weighted the corners of theclothes down with rocks. I thought we'd be going back into the house then, butonly Rapan went in. The rest of us followed Gilor around the house to the mainroad, and from there into the town. There were just as many people about as had been the last time, and we made ourway slowly through the crowds. There were many women there, some alone,some with men, but the majority of them had small children either in their arms orby one hand, and some had both. I found myself curious about the older children,but seeing one of the men with a boy about seven and a girl about eight remindedme of another of their customs. The women looked after the chil­dren until theywere about five, then the men took over their training, boy and girl alike. Thewomen bore children for their men, but the children belonged solely to the men. Ifa woman was sold after having a man's child, the child did not go with her."See you there," Gilor said softly to me, nodding toward a woman who wore twousual bands and also a leather head­band. The woman was well advanced in pregnancy, but moved her swollen body easily. "That wenda swore to us all that never would she bear a man's child; she now carries his third, just as reluctantly asthe first two. The I'lenda to whom she belongs cares more for the getting of his 
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children than for her humor. Should he find a more willing and attractive woman,be will sell her, yet until he does, she acts as she is bidden. The choice everbeongs to I'lendaa." "There are some choices even beyond l'lendaa," I answered with a good deal of satisfaction. "Why does she wear theband about her hair?" ' "The headband is to show that she is with child," Gilor ex­plained. "There areI'lendaa who would buy a woman with child sooner than one who is not It isproof that the woman is not barren.""Your ways are exceedingly strange to me," I admitted. "On our journey here, your denday and I were joined by one 
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of the l'lendaa and his wenda. The Flenda asked the denday to honor him by usinghis wenda. I was told that the flenda hoped to see his woman with child by thedenday, but he was given no more than the single opportunity. Should she indeedfind herself with child, how are they to know if the child is truly that of thedenday, or merely of the flenda himselff "Tammad rarely seeds further opportunity." Gilor laughed. "Yet it matters not Thechild shall be considered as belonging to the Flenda, and shall be watched carefully for signs of greatness. Should the signs become apparent, the child mayclaim kinship to the denday and thereby further himself. The l'lenda shall have the honor of raising the child, and thereby gain greater stature. In such a thing, there issat­isfaction for all." "Strange," I repeated, shaking my head, "There is much to think upon here. Wheredo we go now, Gilor?""We go to replenish the stores of the denday," she an­swered. "Other flendaa mayhunt and trap for the dinga to buy that which they wish to have, or they may sellthe use of their swords to the city in return for the dinga. Tammad is too burdened with the problems of all, and therefore must have his needs supplied withoutdingo. The merchants give willingly, glad that he is there to aid them. We go firstfor the vegetables our own gardens do not produce."We made our way into a building that had shelves and boxes filled withvegetables of all sorts. Gilor picked and chose what she wanted then led the wayout again. I'd never seen a building filled with food like that, and it was an oddsight My own house's chef had the food delivered to it al­ready cooked and placedin stasis. The chef had only to re­move the stasis field and deliver the dish. I'donce, as a child, seen raw food, but in nothing like the quantity that that buildinghad held. We made the rounds of an the food buildings, passing now and then at the stalls 
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that held cloth and jewelry. There was finer cloth than that which our imadd and caldinn were made of, and the women stared at it lovingly. I had the feeling thatthe cloth was ours for the asking, but Gilor didn't ask. She fust sighed a little, thenwent on to the next building.We got back to the barbarian's house loaded down with packages, but I waswearier than carrying them around ac­counted for. I'd had to spend a good deal ofenergy defend­ing myself from (he people of the town, and I wasn't used to 
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it. Men and women alike seemed to know who I was, and the feelings of desireand envy and curiosity had almost been staggering. O'd noticed that very, very few of the women were even four-banded, let alone five, and that seemed to add something to the emotional overtones. I felt pale with my ef­forts, and the relativepeace of the house was very welcome.Meat and vegetables were put up quickly to cook, and Gi-lor set me to puttingclean goblets on trays. I did it automati­cally, encouraging ray inner self to relaxand regather strength, and by the time the food was ready Fd almost come back tonormal. Rapan came in, saying that Tammad and Kennan were ready to eat, andthat she and I were to join them. Two platters were given to each of us, one of thegirls coming along to carry the goblets. The men were alone in the meeting roomand were naturally served first, then Rapan and I were able to sit and eatKennan and the barbarian were in a good mood, joking with each other as theyate. They each listed all sorts of defi­ciencies in their respective wendaa, but with big grins and broad winks. Rapan blushed and looked down at her food, but Istared at the men and weighed my plate in my hand. The barbarian got themessage and laughingly changed the subjectWhen all the food was eaten, the two men drank briefly from their goblets, thenstood up, inspecting Rapan and me lazily. Rapan got quickly to her feet too, but Istood more slowly, wondering what the men were up to. Kennan felt a strongsense of expectation, and the barbarian was controlling himself firmly."Kennan and I have spoken," the barbarian announced with his usual calm. "Ihave been asked to honor my guest and have agreed to do so. In return, I havegifted to my guest the use of my own wenda, whom he shall use as his until the return of his. Rapan, you are to come with me."Rapan was delirious in her excitement but the announce­ment affected medifferently. He always seemed to be taking one woman or another with him,palming me off on the man who was wendaless. I said, "The denday may take allof the city to his furs, but I grow weary of I'lendaa without end. Find another to console Kennan. I have no interest in him." I started to turn away, but Kennan grabbed my arm in his oversized hand. "The 
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denday has spoken, Terril." He grinned. THE WARRIOR WITHIN 173 
"You are mine until Rapan is returned to me. Come you now and show the properrespect"''Respect for whom?" I snorted. "There are none about worthy of respect!" Iwaited until the flash of anger loosened his grip the least little bit, then pulledaway and ran out of the room. I could feel him right behind me, but I wasn'trun­ning aimlessly. I went straight out the back door, across the twenty feet, andinto the corral. My seetar was on her way to me even before I'd shut the corral gate. She knewthat something was upsetting me, and she was concerned and angry. I met her ashort distance away from the gate, leaning against her huge side as she nuzzledmy shoulder comfortingly. I'd sleep with the meteor if I had to, but I would not gowith Kennan-. Just because that barbarian periodically tired of me didn't mean that I wanted to go searching for new talent, too. And Gilor had been so certain abouthis satisfaction. A lot she knew. The corral gate opened again almost immediately, showing Kennan standingthere. He was as big as all l'lendaa and his annoyance was completely inproportion to his size, but I had an ally of my own and my ally made Kennan looksmall. He started toward tee without hesitation, but a snort and deep Tumble from my seetar made him falter, then stop altogether."Come you here, wendal" he ordered sternly. "You must emerge from there atsome time, so this action avails you naught! The denday has gifted you to me forthe present, and with me you shall be!""The denday may fill your furs himself," I called in an­swer. "I shall not! Thinkyou to deal with this wenda I stand beside as easily as you deal with Rapan? Youmay make the attempt if you wish, Kennan, but I shall not leave herel"Kennan put angry fists on his hips, but I was answered from another quarter. "Youshall leave here, wenda," the bar­barian said as he came into the corral behind Kennan. Rapan stayed at the fence and watched us an wide-eyed. » The barbarianstarted toward me, ignoring the warning rumble of my seetar, slapping his handsharply against his thigh. Suddenly his saddle mount appeared next to him, andthe big male let his nose be rubbed with a good deal of satis­faction, then joinedhis rider in advancing toward me.It all happened so quickly, I barely had time to see it, let alone anticipate ft. Istood to my seetar's left, and the bar­barian walked to his sector's right When thetwo males were 
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three feet away, my sector charged the man with a squeal of rage, but the male seetar moved unbelievably fast to block her. The man darted around the two seetarr, grabbed me be­fore I could even blink, threw me up on his shoulder, thenraced out of the corral. His male was having a hard time stopping my femalewithout hurting her, and when Kennan slammed the gate closed behind us, themale seetar simply got out of the way. My female came crashing into the fence,but the heavy, reinforced wood held her weight, and she was helpless to keep thebarbarian from carrying me back into the house.I was taken to his sleeping room, and wasn't put back on my feet until the doorwas closed firmly behind us. The bar­barian stood and studied me, so I folded myarms and stared back at him. "Again you disobey me," he said with a curious lack of an­ger. "Kennan shallhave you for as long as I have Rapan."The Ratanan will be long since forgotten before she gives you up," I snorted. "Ididn't come here to settle down with Kennan." "I am aware that you came only to serve me, wenda." He grinned, enjoying thedouble or triple meaning. "Yet there are other services to be performed, and youshall obey me in an things. Return to Kennan and ask his pardon.""I won't do it," I said with a headshake. "Why do you al­ways have to include mein your bed-hopping? If you want me out of the way, just say so. I wouldn'tdream of interfer­ing in your—affairs of honor.""The matter with Rapan is more important than it seems," he said softly, comingover to run his hand over my back beneath the imad, I shivered slightly andmoved away, but he just grinned a little. "Sooner would I have you in my furs,l'lenda-wenda, yet I must wait until Rapan is seen to. I can­not give her child, butmust do all possible to give her freedom from the attraction she still feels for me,if not for her sake, then for Kennan's. Go you now to Kennan in obedience to myword." 
"I refuse," I answered, steeling myself for the beating I knew was coming. Iwould not go willingly to any l'lenda,The barbarian shook his head with a sigh, then took my wrist and towed me outof the room. Kennan and Rapan stood a short way down the hall, and we stoppedin front of them. 
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"My wenda is now yours," he said to Kennan, pulling me closer to the bigl'lenda. "You have my permission to punish her lightly for the insult she gaveyon. It is more-fitting than punishment at my hand.""The insult shall be totally wiped away." Kennan grinned, getting a good grip on 
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my arm. "Come, Terril, and we shall discuss the giving of insult—and itsconsequences. Rapan, go you with Tammad."Kennan dragged me back up the hall past the barbarian's room, and I turned onceto see the barbarian standing there watching us, seemingly totally oblivious toRapan who gazed up at him lovingly. Once again, someone else had gentlenessto look forward to, while all I had in store was punishment. I looked away fromthe man who had put me in chains, and didn't look back again.Kennan's sleeping room was no different from the bar­barian's. He threw medown on bis sleeping furs, then crouched to tell me what would have happened tome had I been male and spoken as I had. He didn't leave out the least gory detail,and when he was through, he stood again to re­move his haddin. "Rejoice that you be wenda, Terra," he summed up, throwing the haddin from him. "You may not lose your life through insult, yet still shall you regret yourwords. The darayse of your land do not dwell in ours."He caught me as I tried for the door, then proceeded to make me regret what I'dsaid. My imad and ceddin were quickly removed, and he used me as Plendaa do, but he also used me in the most embarrassing and humiliating of ways. I washelpless to stop him, my tears of frustration and shame simply giving him greaterpleasure. He felt himself morally right, and there was nothing that would changehis mind. I lay in misery next to him as he rested, asking myself what he would do next,when the door to the room flew open and Rapan ran in. She threw herself into hisarms sobbing wildly, and his surprise was genuine.
• "Rapan, what ails you?" he asked, holding her tight to comfort her, "What hashappened?" "Take me away from here!" she begged, trying to get evencloser to him. "I had thought him gentle, but Terril spoke
truly! He—he—caused me such pain, Kennan! Please takeme away!""As quickly as I am clad," he assured her with a gentle 
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hug, then disengaged himself from her viselike grip. He dressed fast, added hisswordbelt, then helped her to her feet and out of the room. His emotions weretender concern, great happiness, and deep gratitude. He had also completelyforgotten about me.I tried to soothe down my own emotions, but often that's too much like a medictrying to fix a wound on his own back. I could calm myself in times of crisis, butordinary emotional upheaval was too much to work through. My own emotionsblocked my control, and made the effort a waste of time. 
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"So Terril spoke truly," a quiet voice said from behind me, "And why did Terrilnot say to me that which she said to others?"
•Would it have made a difference?" I asked tonelessly, not even turning to look athim. "What do you care about what happens to me as long as I'm here and healthyenough to at-tend the Ratanan? I'm a useless female, wearing your bands onlybecause you have no other choice. Ahresta wenda." "You are not ahrestal" he said angrily. "If you were truly unwanted and kept onlyout of pity, five bands would not be necessary. I have already been asked manytimes if I have tired of you as yet! Such does not occur with ahresta wenda!" "That's only because they don't know," I said, lowering my cheek to the furs."Maybe if you give me away often enough, they'll begin to believe you.""It was my duty as host to gift you to Kennan," he said harshly, moving towardme. "Also you must learn to soften your words with l'lenda lest they take insult!Too long have you been used to the men of your world who—"'He had unexpectedly crouched down to turn me to face him, and my gasp cut hissentence short. I'd been unprepared for the sudden movement, and the pain hadgotten away from me. I controlled it quickly, but not before he had seen."What has been done to you?" he demanded with a frown, looking me overcarefully. "Kennan was told he might punish you lightly. Did he mistake mymeaning?""He understood you," I told him stiffly. "What he did wouldn't have hurt so muchif it hadn't been for— "My use of you earlier," he finished heavily when I didnt. "It is now completelyclear to me why you seek comfort and protection from seetan. You have no I'lenda you may turn to. Lie still until the pain has passed." 
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He stretched out next to roe and took me gently in his arms, stroking my hairsoothingly. When I felt him trying to project safety and peace at me I could havecried—particu­larly because that's exactly what I did feel just then. He held me asif I meant something to him, and in spite of the pain I understood Rapan'scomment about bliss. I was almost lost between his giant arms and mighty chest;but I never wanted to be found again.The pain eventually eased as most pain does, and I told him so because I felt hehad something else he was waiting to do. It was cold when he took his arms away,and I dressed quickly as he stood there, then followed him out into the hall. Hehesitated near the door to his sleeping room, but made up his mind fast and threwthe door open."Go you now to your furs," he directed. "I would have had you with me at themeeting this night, but it is not neces­sary. It is more important that you rest." 
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For the Ratanan, I thought, and / straightened up a little. "I'm all right," I told him."What did you want done at the meeting?""Will you never learn to obey my word?" he asked with fists on hips. "You weretold to seek your furs, and you had best do so lest I seek my switch! Go you now!"His thoughts were as hard as his tone of voice, so I went into the room withoutfurther comment. He stood and waited again until I was between the furs, then hecame and tucked them closer before going out and closing the door behind him.I lay very still after the door had closed, because his action with the furs hadtriggered a half memory. I remembered someone tucking me in before, and I wassure it had been he. He'd said something that other time, and it took a few minutesbefore I had the words back, then I was shocked. 
"Wenda sed Prime," he'd said. "Ti l'lenda quereri?""A woman who is called Prime. How may a warrior contend with such?" 
I couldn't believe it, but it had to be true! There had been such a strong feeling oflonging to go with the words that I was surprised I could have forgotten it Hewanted me, but felt that I was beyond him, out of his reach. And thinking that he was too good for me, I'd taunted him and called him—barbarian. His patience withme, his protection of me, 
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the times he'd apologized—never once had I apologized to him, yet / had calledhim barbarian! I searched for his calm control, wanting to go to him, but found his familiarpattern among many others. I lay back in the furs, remembering the meeting andcursing it soundly. Why did he have to be among so many men just at that time? It wasn't fair, but very few things are fair. I'd just have to wait until he got back.The furs were very soft and comfortable, I waited for him to come back until myeyes closed of their own accord. 
13 * 
When I woke in the morning, I stretched lazily then groaned when I realized that
Tammad was gone again. I had a faint memory of his holding me as we both slept,
but he hadn't awakened me and he hadn't touched me otherwise. I dressed quickly,
determined to find him, but his pattern was nowhere in the house, so I went to the
kitchen instead to find Gilor. 
"Where has Tammad gone?" I asked as soon as I saw her. She was-patiently 

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stirring a big kettle of something and didn't answer immediately."The denday has gone about his business," she finally said. "He has instructed methat you are to rest this day, eat well, and be given no work. For one who caresnothing for you, he is indeed generous.""Have you never been in error?" I asked defensively. "He keeps close to himselfand does not allow his feelings to reach me, but now the truth is known to me.Gilor, what may I do for him?""You may obey him." She laughed, looking over at me with happiness in hereyes. "You are to eat, rest, and do no work.""But I wish to do something for him!" I protested. "Is there no plate to carry, nohaddin to be washed, no—" I broke off and closed my eyes, feeling the meager list of useless, menial choresecho and ache inside of me. There was nothing I could do for him that other women couldn't do ten times better. I was still useless, and couldn't imagine whyhe would want me. 
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"Do not let sadness touch you," Gilor said gently and com­passionately, comingover to put her arm around me. "That he cares for you is the telling point All elsemay be easily seen to and learned by one who is willing. Are you now willing?"1 looked at her, understanding that my "cooperative'' as­sistance of the day beforehadn't fooled her, then nodded my head. I might be left with no unburned skin onmy hands, but Fd do my damnedest to learn."Good," she said and patted my shoulder. "I shall be pleased to teach you thatwhich you must know the moment Tammad gives his permission. This day youmust eat and rest, therefore shall you take a bowl and begin to do so."She dippered out a bowlful of thick whatever and handed it to me, and I could seethere was no sense in arguing with her. She was not about to disobey Tammad,and her mind was firm. I took the bowl glumly, used the small scoop—and feltmy eyebrows rise at the taste. It was coarse and gritty, but it had a light, sweetflavor unlike anything Fd ever eaten. I emptied the bowl quickly, but had it takenfirmly out of my hands when I tried to clean it Gilor was annoyed, and I wasbanished from the kitchen. I wandered around for a while, bored by total inactivity, then went outside. My sector waited anxiously at the corral gate, and I hastened to assure her that I wasall right She half-sensed my still twisting emotions and snorted dubiously, butcalmed down enough to lie hi the sunny grass where I could sit too and leanagainst her. I relaxed in the sun with partially closed eyes, trying to arrange mythinking into something resembling lucidity. When Tammad's male came over 
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hesitantly, I stroked the nose he put in my lap without really seeing itI spent the rest of the day with the seetarr, and there wasn't a sign of Tammad. Itried to go with the other women when they left for the river, but one of thel'lendaa marched me firmly back into the house. The denday had left word that I wasn't to go to the river, and there was no arguing them out of it I managed toavoid insulting anyone, but I was left with such a sour mood that I took some meatto nibble on and went back to the seetarr. For the rest of the afternoon I wondered why everyone else found it so easy obeying the denday, while I always had suchdifficulty. Maybe it was a matter of point of view. 
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At sundown I went back to the house, knowing in advance that Tammad hadn'tyet returned. Gilor wrinkled her nose when I got within sniffing distance, andimmediately sent for the large wooden tab. I didn't want a bath just then, but I gotone anyway, as well as a lecture on what a man dislikes in a woman. As thestrong smell of sector was high on the list of dislikes, Gilor was not about to letme hurt my own cause.After I was dry, brushed, and into clean clothes, I was al­lowed to eat I crouchednear one of the sputtering kitchen torches, eating mechanically and staring outinto the night. It was quiet and peaceful outside, warm and comfortable inside,and not much different from Central. Oh, there were a lot of broad differences, but specific items like sky and trees and food and shelter were all the same. It wasnot difficult think­ing myself home.When the meal was finished, Gilor came by to take the plate and tell me it wastime to sleep. I Sally refused to budge from the spot until Tammad got back, andshe just shrugged and walked away. Five minutes later Bollan took her place, andthere was no refusing with him. He might have been older than most of the othermen I'd seen, but he was still straight and tall, and he was still Tlenda. He escorted me to Tammad's sleeping room, waited with folded arms un­til Fd undressed, thenquietly shut the door.I lay in the furs, determined to stay awake mis time until Tammad came back, andI wasn't sleepy enough to lose con­trol I waited half the night, but he never didshow up. 
"Time to awaken, small warrior," a voice murmured in my ear. I knewimmediately who it was, and couldn't help smiling."About time you got back," I mumbled, putting my arms around his neck. "Whattook so long?""The preparations were many." He chuckled, putting his hands somewhere otherthan near my neck. "All is now com­plete, and we must be on our way. The 
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Ratanan comes whether we attend or no." 
"The RettananT' I said, trying to sit up straight "Are we leaving today?"
"If ever you arise," he said, moving back to look at me. "Was my word obeyed
during the last sun?"
"For the most part," I hedged. "I didn't know we were leaving today. You could
have told me." 

182 sharon green 

"There was no need for you to be told," he answered, watching as I got into theimad and caldin. "Had you obeyed my word, you wauld have been properlyprepared. Come you now for something to eat. We leave as soon as we are done."He straightened from his crouch and led the way to the kitchen, where a sleepy-looking Gilor was waiting with a bowl of thick whatever for me and a chunk ofspiced meat for him. I ate the whatever without comment, but much of its flavordisappeared in the face of the meat. The good part about the upcoming trip wasthat I, too, would soon have meat for breakfast Thick whatever is not enough toface the day on.We went out the front of the house to find a double line of fifty Flendaa alreadymounted and waiting for us in the just-dawn chirping. There were a good numberof pack-see/arr on leather leads, and quite a few of the flendaa had women mounted behind them. Tammad's big mate was saddled and ready, and Tammadwalked up to him."A moment," I said quietly, putting my hand on his arm, "I do not see my seetar here." "Nor shall you," he answered, checking the saddle straps. That one is too easilyenraged to be taken along." He turned, lifted me by the waist, and set me downon the saddle fur. "Your place is there, and there you shall stay."He was up into the saddle before I could even begin to ar­gue, and then we wereoff down the road. I was so annoyed I just held onto his swordbelt with myfingers as the rest of the party moved off with us, but after a few minutes I put myarms around his waist and leaned against him. His pleasure was so apparent that itmade me glad my seetar wasn't there. 
We stopped for lunch by the side of the road, and the dim-ral was passed around.Dimral isn't as good as the spiced meat Gilor makes, but it stands up to spoilagebetter, and is almost always used when traveling. Some of the l'lendaa came over to eat with Tammad, and there was a lot of good-natured joking around. When thefood had been finished and everyone started back to his own seetar, one of the men paused near Tammad."My wenda feels certain that the night shall produce the desired results, denday,"he grinned, slapping Tammad on the shoulder. "Again I must thank you for 
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honoring me."Tammad grinned back and turned to lift me to the saddle fur, not missing thenarrow-eyed look I gave him. His grin 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 183 
broadened as he climbed into the saddle, but when I mut­tered, "Preparations,huh?" he laughed out loud. He contin­ued to laugh when I resolutely put myfingers back in his swordbelt, and stubbornly refused to stop until I held himaround the waist again.O'd expected us to camp in the woods that night, but sun­down came close andthere was no sign of our stopping. Just at dark the column paused, and one of thel'lendaa rode up to us to hand Tammad a bundle of material. Tammad took it andturned off into the woods, leaving the rest of the column on the road."You shall wear this imad and caldin," he said, handing me the bundle when wewere out of sight of the column. "The Ratanan ground is not far ahead of us, and Iwish you to have the status of rella wenda. Thus shall you be able to enter thedendarsa camtah with me." I nodded and let him slide me to the ground, then started changing clothes. Theimad and caldin were brand new, of a soft, rich-feeling material, and I knew, thecolors would be bright and compelling. Rella wendaa were not for breeding butfor showing off, and only some of the most prominent leaders had them. If being arella wenda would gain me en­trance to the denday's tent, then I would be a rella wenda. It was better than sneaking up on the outside of the dendarsa camtah. I found a pair of buskins in the center of the bundle, and put those on, too. Itseemed so long since the last time I'd worn shoes of any sort that the buskins feltstrange to my feet I rolled up the old imad and caldin, and handed them up toTammad. "Before we continue on, I have one question," I said as he swung me up behindhim. "You have a habit of telling me nothing I don't need to know on the spot, solet me be as general as possible. Is there anything that I'll need to know once we reach the Ratanan grounds? Having surprises sprung on me doesn't make for goodworking conditions."There is nothing that comes to mind," he said, thinking about it carefully. "Shouldyou find something you do not un­derstand, ask me and I shall explain. I do notwish you to be at a disadvantage.""Fair enough," I agreed, and we headed back toward the column. When wereached it, we all continued up the road, and in less than an hour came to theRatanan ground. 
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The area was to the left of the road in a broad, clear field that stretched for miles. Hundreds of camtahh were pitched in the field in groups, and in the midst of eachlarge group was an oversized camtah, more a pavilion than anything else. It wastoo dark to count the exact number of pavilions, but there should have beentwenty-four, one for each of the other twenty-four towns represented. Tammadand his people made the twenty-fifth, but the Ratanan would have begun on timeeven if some of the twenty-five hadn't been there.The separate groups were dotted with campfires, which made ft easier to seewhere we were going. We made our way between two of the groups, the l'lendaa of each group com­ing out to greet Tammad as we passed, then reached a wide,empty space. Most of our l'lendaa began choosing places to dismount, but five ofthem, all without wendaa, stayed near Tammad as he changed direction slightlyfor a pavilion that was even larger than the others, and also stood alone. There were l'lendaa standing near it, and we stopped among them."Aldana, Tammad, aldanal" many of them called with broad grins, then camecloser as I was swung to the ground. "You are a welcome sight, as is your wenda. There are few about to equal her.""Aye, Hamas." Tammad laughed as he dismounted. "She is comely to a smalldegree. Is Rommar as yet in attend­ance?""He sits within," the one called Hannas answered with his own laugh. "Besideshim, one may also see his retta wenda. Garrad will be pleased at your arrival."All the flendaa within hearing laughed aloud at that, which made me curious.There was some amusement they were sharing, and I wondered what it could be.Tammad removed his swordbelt, handed it, along with the extra dagger, to one ofhis flendaa, then went toward the pa­vilion entrance. I followed behind, feelingthe itch of what I usually called a hunch. It was more a matter of receivingdefinite signals, and worked a good deal more accurately when I was awakened. Ihad the feeling that my presence there had been well planned for, and would notarouse undue curiosity where it shouldn't be aroused. It would be inter­esting tosee if I was rightTammad pushed the entrance hanging aside, and the light from the interior spilledout into the night. He opened it only wide enough to let himself step through, thenstood there for 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 185 
a moment, to let his eyes adjust, I thought. There were greet­ings called to himfrom within the pavilion, and I stopped just behind him, feeling the patterns ofmany men, but not able to see them. Then he stepped suddenly aside and I wasframed in the opening, almost two dozen pairs of eyes staring directly at me. 
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There was complete silence for a very brief time, then nor­mal conversation beganagain and one of the men rose and came toward us, a big grin on his face as helooked at me. "Tammad, I expected you before this," he said, pausing near us to study me."Though I believe I see the reason for your delay. Sarella wenda." I smiled pleasantly at the man who had called me an un­usually beautiful woman,and Tammad grinned back at him. "She is adequate, Garrad," he said fondly."How has the time passed for you?""All too quickly," the man called Garrad answered with a rueful smile. "There aremany more things requiring a den-day's time than he has the time to give them. Asyou well know. Come and seat yourself, and share the drishnak," He turned and led the way back toward his place among the cushions, not far fromthe silken back wall of the pavil­ion. A group of men sat there, grins on their facesand wel­come in their minds, but Tammad stopped in the middle of the fur-covered floor to grin at a man on the far right The man stared back withoutexpression, but furious hate was strong within him. A really beautiful woman satnear him, long silky blond hair falling past her waist, a definite green tinge to herlovely blue eyes."Aldana, Rommar," Tammad said in a casual drawl. "I see you are againaccompanied by your rella wenda. She is even more tempting than I hadremembered, and you are generous to share the sight of her.""No more generous than you, Tammad," Rommar an­swered, almost in a growl."A wenda such as yours is rare indeed, and I would know how you came by her.""She took a fancy to my furs and followed me." Tammad grinned broadly. "Was Ito see her walking the roads unpro­tected? I shall keep her for the time, andperhaps she may one day suit me."Rommar outwardly controlled himself at that, but the ban­ter made his mindseethe even more furiously. It was obvious now that I was supposed to be acounter to the other man's 
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rella wenda, and I was forced to admire Tammad's thought processes. He musthave had that eventuality in mind as far back as our first metting on Central,accepting me as the help he needed, knowing how easily I would fit in. SadayinI'lenda, brainy indeed.Rommar leaned back slightly, pulling his wenda to him. The girl looked at himwith an adoring but cowed gaze, then curled up tightly against his chest"So you fail to suit him, eh, wenda?" Rommar said to me. "My Nalar would notdare to fail to suit me. She is just as I wish her to be.""That is easily seen, l'lenda," I answered with an easy nod. "Perhaps it is more 
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difficult suiting one such as Tammad."Every man in the pavilion roared with laughter, but Rocs-mar didn't see anyhumor in the comment He scowled at me, strong anger filling his mind, butTammad's pleasure came to me even more strongly. He reached out and strokedmy hair, then led the way to where Garrad was awiting."A rare wenda indeed." Garrad grinned as Tammad low­ered himself to thecushions. "She has almost the sound of l'lenda to her. I, too, would know how youcame by her.""She was gifted to me by her father," Tammad answered, pulling me down, notnext to him, but into his lap. "He found her pride too great for so slight a form,and asked only that she be taught moderation and obedience. Do yon now heedmy words, Terril. I am flattered by your exalted opinion of me, yet did you cometoo close to insult with Rommar. Have you need of another lesson in theconsequences of in­sult?""I spoke very carefully so as not to give insult," I told him, and grinned up into hishalf-amused eyes. "Had I intended insult, I should have added that Tammad doesnot use fear to see himself suited. No true l'lenda would." Tammad wearily tubbed his eyes with one hand while the other l'lendaa around us guffawed. Garrad was vastly amused, and he clapped Tammad on the shoulder."She is well named, my friend," he said with a huge grin. "I have no doubt but thatyour sword has often needed hon­ing since the acquisition of her. Have you yetworn out a switch?" "Not through lack of effort," Tammad answered dryly, giv­ing me a stern look."Should Terril wish me to again make the attempt, she need but speak in such afashion once more. 
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The laws of the Ratanan forbid the use of weapons, yet say nothing of the use of aswitch." "Does Tammad truly seek to make me fear the switch?" I asked innocently,running a finger over his chest "I bad not thought be had need of such.""All men have need of aid with wendaa." Tammad grinned. "And should youcontinue to do as you now do, you may be sure that I shall take you in this veryplace, in spite of the amusement of my brothers. This, too, would be fittingpunishment for your pride."I snatched my finger away from his chest as the men laughed again, wondering ifhe was really telling the truth. That he was easily aroused by me I already knew,but would he really—right there in front of everybody—I took a shaky breathand decided not to try to find outTammad was given drishnak by an ordinary serving wenda, and the evening 
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wore on. When large platters of meat chunks were passed among the l'lenda, I 
tried to take a chunk and got my hand slapped. Tammad chose one for me
instead, but I didn't make a fuss about it—I was too hungry, and too busy
studying the men in the pavilion.
All the men in Garrad's group had their attention on Tam­mad so they were easy
to read, as was the group around Rom-mar, who were constantly taking turns
glancing our way, but the uncommitted dendayy who ranged themselves with
nei­ther side were another matter entirely. They were trying hard for neutrality,
but most of them tended to lean more toward Rommar, and that wasn't good. It
hadn't been bard to see that Rommarwas leader of the opposition.I stayed in Tammad's lap, facing away from everyone else and holding himaround with my eyes closed, but I wasn't trying to snuggle or hide. I was preparingreports on the uncommitted dendayy, pinpointing what I could of them so as tomake identification easier, too.- It wouldn't have helped - much to try to describethe large, blond l'lendaa, and I didn't know their names. 
I finished what I could of the preliminary reports, coming back to awareness of
my surroundings to find that Tammad and his friends had had more of the
drishnak than the meat chunks. Their minds were as blurry as their laughter, and
when one looked at me it was with a good deal more heat than previously.
I made the mistake of trying to get out of Tammad's lap, 
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and was pulled back firmly and smacked hard on the bottom for not having firstasked permission. Tammad's emotional control was still good, but it was a lotsloppier than it had been because of the drishnak. I had no trouble telling that hewas on the verge of being thoroughly angry with me again, so I stayed where Iwas to avoid more unpleasantness. I couldn't count on his judgment in the sort ofcondition he had gotten himself into.Before very much longer, every l'lenda in the pavilion was limp. One or two ofthem still had the strength to hold onto a goblet, but I doubt if they knew whatthey were holding onto. The girl Nalar was nearly crashed beneath Rommar's arm,but she was making no attempt to get away from him, and I could understand that.My own owner had opted for holding me down on his lap in an obvious andpotentially painful way. If I tried to move before he was completely out cold, Iwould definitely and embarrassingly regret it.I had just about decided to try prying the fistful of my caldin out of Tammad's hand, when the l'lendaa who had been left outside began filing into the pavilion.They were chuckling and talking quietly to each other, but separated once theywere inside to go to their various dendayy. One of Tammad's men got me loosewith a single pull, then he and two others lifted Tammad and began carrying him 
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out I found out why the standard retinue was five in number when one of the far gone dendayy tried to resist being carried out I turned my back on the battle andfollowed Tammad's body.The Vlendaa carried Tammad past the camtahh that had been set up, to a smallerpavilion that was obviously his. They took him inside while I paused to take adeep breath of .the fresh night ah*, a moment later discovering a l'lenda at myel­bow. I looked up to see a grinning Faddan studying me."You do not seem to care for Tammad's state," he told me with a chuckle. "Had you hoped to have him conscious and aware of you?""I had hoped for a long conversation with him," I an­swered blandly, staring himstraight in the eye. "Now it must wait for the new sun.""Aye." Faddan laughed, deeply amused. "All—conversa­tion—must wait for thenew sun. I bid you a pleasant sleep, Terril."He walked away, still chuckling, and I stood outside the pavilion, seeing thecampfires range into the distance. I was 
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tired from the day-long trip, drained from studying the men in the pavilion, andthe night wasn't as peaceful as most people consider it. Emotions are more intenseat night, and though a lot of people slept, those who were still awake made up forthe sleepers. I stood slumped in the night, wondering where I was supposed tosleep."The denday calls for his wenda" one of tfie men an­nounced as the three who had carried Tammad into the pa­vilion filed out again. "Still does he sleep, yet stillmust his word be obeyed. Do you now go to him, wenda." 1 felt annoyance even as I stepped into the pavilion. Theirdenday was dead drunk, but I was still expected to obey him.There was a small torch burning feebly in one corner of thepavilion, and I could see Tammad stretched out on his furs.His haddln had been removed, and it lay to the left of thefurs near his swordbdt Tammad himself moved restlessly onhis furs, his mind empty but for a small yet definite annoy­ance. He tossed a bit and mumbled, reaching around as ifsearching for something.I removed the imad and caldin, folded them carefully, then slid into my furs,which were, unsurprisingly, right next to Tammad's. He continued to toss around,his annoyance growing, until his arm happened to fall across me. Immedi­ately Iwas pulled to him, held tight in a grip that was un­breakable. The annoyance in hismind began fading at once, letting him lapse into a deep, restorative sleep. Irubbed my cheek against the chest I was pinned to, and had do difficulty at all in 
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finding sleep of my own. 
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My head throbbed in painful rhythm to my heartbeat, and I had to force my eyesopen. It took a minute to realize that the pain wasn't my own, but that of themighty warrior who sat groggily next to me. Tammad was definitely awake, andwhen he saw me watching him, he made a vah'ant effort to control what he wasfeeling."Did you sleep well?" he asked, reaching out to smooth my hair. "There is muchfor you to do this day.""I can see that," I answered, holding back a superior grin. "Isnt there anything youcan do for that headache?" "I must wait for it to abandon me," he sighed, stretching out in the furs again. "Itis the price one pays for the foolish­ness of too much drishnak" "As long as you admit it's foolishness, maybe I can help," I said, moving close tostroke his forehead. "Relax your control and let me try."His muscles eased up somewhat, the action making him wince inwardly at theuncontrolled pain he felt in his bead. I surrounded the pain as best I could andsoothed it, urging it down to a level he could handle. His surprise didn't keep himfrom immediately exercising control over what was left of the headache, and hishands kept me from moving away again."Truly are you wenda without equal," he murmured, en­joying the feel of meagainst him. "I am again as I was, for you have taken the pain from me." Hepaused to frown in thought, then demanded, "You have not taken the pain as yourown?" 
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"No," I laughed gently. "With you around, I don't need anyone else's pain. Do
you still plan on beating me?""Should the need arise." He nodded without hesitation. "All men must know that there is ever one greater than they somewhere in the world. I would not have youinsult the one who is greater than I, and end his belonging to be punished "forinsolence. Sooner shall the punishment come from my hand, to be given in fullmeasure, yet not without concern. If is my duty."
"Your duty need not be so carefully seen to, O denday," I answered ruefully. Howdo you argue with someone who's going to beat you because he cares for you? 
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"I'll be too busy doing my job to get into very much trouble.""Such is my sincere hope," he answered, a faint grin ap­pearing on his face. "Youmay begin when we have had our meal.""I've already begun," I said, enjoying his reaction to this second surprise. "Lastnight, while you were building the foundations of a headache, I was doing what Iwas brought here to do.""Then I am the laggard." He grinned more widely, slowly moving his hands onme. "What have you learned?"That was a question I had no trouble answering. "I've learned that my aman is nonexistent when you do that." I groaned, holding tightly to him, then added,"There are no other l'lendaa about now." "There soon shall be." He laughed, prying me away from him and forcing me flat"Therefore must you tell me now that which you have learned. We may not havefurther op­portunity."I groaned again as he held me still, then took a deep breath. "We'd better makethe opportunity," I disagreed. Tve read the men, but I don't know them and can'ttell them apart until I see them individually. We'll have to walk around and visit.""Such is no hardship," he mused, already planning it. "The Ratanan allows for much mixing and visiting. Do you now dress yourself, and we shall eat."He stood to do his own dressing, and after a minute I fol­lowed suit The man washighly frustrating and extremely un­fair. He had the Ratanan on his mind, and couldn't be lured away from his purpose. I remembered the real we had experi­
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enced together, and felt a strong urge to rape him—if only just that once. If hehadn't been so big. . . .Breakfast was waiting in the form of spiced meat chunks, courtesy of the womenwho had been brought along. My shiny new clothes proclaimed that I was to havenothing to do with the preparing of food, and I can't honestly say I wasdisappointed. My mind kept centering on the reports I'd put together, and cookingunder those circumstances would have cost me a good deal more skin. My handwas no longer cov­ered or salved, and seemed to be healing. I didn't want to pressmy luck.After we'd both had some water, we began our visiting tour. Faddan, Kennan, andLoddar came along with us, but I wasn't half as surprised at seeing them as seeingthe one called Caffar—the one who hated Tammad. He was among the rest of ourfifty, and I didn't understand why.The tour began with a quick call on Oarrad, who was on his feet but just barely.Tammad smiled gently, wished him a speedy recovery, then moved on. Oarradstared after him, a new respect beginning to form. Once the headache was gone, 
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the respect would grow.We spent a good deal of time with ordinary Tlendaa, both out of courtesy and outof necessity. It was impossible to ig­nore someone without giving insult, and thedendayy needed time to come out of the fog. After a couple of hours, though, theyall seemed to be whole again, and I was impressed. Tammad's headache was gonecompletely, with no trace left that it had ever been there.There were cleared spaces in front of the dendayy pav­ilions, and I soon found outthen* purpose. Matches between individuals and groups of l'lendaa began, and thespirit of competition was high. They all started with weaponless wres­tlingmatches, and I still dont understand now they could consider something like thatfun. When one or the other hit the ground he hit hard, and there was no questionabout the pain he felt.As we approached a group, I recognized the denday as one I had drawn a few conclusions about. I plucked at Tammad's swordbelt, gesturing him close when heturned. "This one needs to be bested at something," I whispered low. "Does that helpyou?"He nodded slowly, considering what I'd said, then contin­ued on toward thepavilion. The denday stood with his men, 
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watching as two of the l'lendaa sweated and grunted, seem­ingly not noticing us.
We stood silently too, waiting until one of the men had caused the other to
concede, then Tammad turned to the other denday.
"Aldana, Miggan," he said pleasantly. "Your men seem as fit as ever."
"And ever shall they be," Miggan answered neutrally. 1 believe in nothing else.
How fares your city, Tammad?"
"Well," Tammad answered. "Our caravans are beset by the savages, yet still we
prosper. Have you also been attacked?"
"Aye," Miggan said, and spat disgustedly to one side. "We shall soon have the
savages in our camtahh, should we con­tinue to fight them singly. We must band
together and force them to return from whence they came."
"I, too, believe so." Tammad nodded. "This Ratanan must see it done." He 
glanced toward the cleared space, where an­other two men struggled, and grinned.
"There is fine sport to be had for those who wish to take it, yet it is unfitting for a
denday to sport with his l'lendaa. A pity, for I feel the need for such sport."
"Often, I, too, feel such need," Miggan said in the same casual tone while his
attention focused on Tammad. "As we are both dendayy, let us see to our mutual 

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need." "An excellent thought," Tammad answered, as though the idea had never occurredto him. "After this match, we shall take our turn." Miggan nodded, and they both turned back to watch the wrestling. I ignored thewrestling and watched the two den­dayy, hoping that I'd guessed right. Migganhad been difficult to read until his control had slipped with the intake of drishnak, then his superior intolerance had been easy to feeL He had sat alone in thepavilion through his own choice, but not through feelings of unfriendliness. Oftena man has diffi­culty socializing with people he considers his inferiors.The match ended with a final crash, allowing Tammad and Miggan to stepforward before anyone else could do so. They removed their swordbelts to theyells of encouragement from the flendaa, then began measuring each other withtheir eyes. Neither man felt any doubt, and I wished I could say the same.They started circling warily, arms out and away from their bodies, bodies bentslightly down and forward. They were both in magnificent condition, strong,healthy brutes bred for 
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battle. Tammad was somewhat the taller, but Miggan made up for Hie negligibledifference with slightly more weight. Their blue eyes were locked on each other,their blond hair stirring not at an in the gentle breeze.Then suddenly Miggan moved. The mighty Tammad was raised high in the air tobe slammed down hard on the ground, but he rolled and was up againimmediately, to re­turn to circling with a grin. The pain of landing was notal­lowed to enter his conscious mind, and seconds later it was Miggan's turn to beraised and dropped, but Miggan, too, quickly regained his feet His control was notas good as Tammad's, and the pain was felt, but it was totally ignored.A larger and larger crowd was gathering, and I was only able to keep my placebecause Tammad's three Tlendaa saw to it that no one stood in front of us; and it was a good thing they did—behind the giant Tlendaa, I would have missed it all. The crowd cheered and laughed each time one of the den-dayy was thrown or locked in a hold, and they cheered and laughed often. Tammad and Miggan werewell matched and both knew what they were about, but Tammad's greater con­troland agility slowly pulled him ahead. Finally, Miggan was taken by the neck andtripped, but when he tried to get to his feet again, he found a knee in his back andhis arm twisted in a vise. He tried futilely to escape the hold, then gave hi to hisoverpowering weariness."I yield," he gasped out, almost shocked at the words that came from him.Tammad released him immediately, and they both stood, breathing hard, to faceone another. Miggan stared briefly then said, "Never had I expected to say those 
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words, Tammad. You are safeety l'lenda,"
"I, too, have rarely faced such an opponent." Tammad smiled, ignoring the fact
that he had been called a superior warrior. "You do me honor by sharing my sport,
Miggan. Perhaps we may fight side by side against the savages."
"I would find much pleasure in such an undertaking," Mig­gan said, nodding
slowly. "Aye, much pleasure. Will you share diishnak with me, Tammad?" 
"Gladly." Tammad grinned as he reclaimed his swordbelt He put his extra dagger
behind him again, and Miggan eyed the dagger in the sheath.
"A lovely weapon, that," he said, nodding at the dagger. "May I see it?" 

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"Certainly," Tammad answered, handing over the dagger. "It was a house-giftfrom a close friend, chosen carefully from among many others. I prize it highly.""So should I," Miggan said, handing the dagger back reluc­tantly. He collectedhis own swordbelt, then led the way to his pavilion. Tammad followed, but notbefore gesturing to me. I went along, and once inside saw that the pavilion wasdivided in half by a drapery, no sleeping furs being in view, t realized why whena woman came out from behind the drap­ery. She was five-banded and smilingpleasantly, and her eyes lingered briefly on my imad and caldin. "Ah, Padrr."Miggan smiled. "Do you fetch the drishnak for the denday Tammad and me. We drink to victory and de­feat."Padir nodded and left the pavilion, and Miggan's glanced slyly at me."My wenda is called Terril," Tammad supplied, noticing the other man's slightfrown. "Does her presence disturb you?""No," Miggan answered, studying me carefully. "She is truly sarella wenda, yetdo I feel that to merely show a woman demeans her. I intend no insult,, Tammad.I merely speak my mind.""No insult is taken, Miggan," Tammad answered easily. "Ifeel as you do, though there is no dishonor in also showing awoman who is to be used. My wenda is rella wenda only forthe Rotation." ' 
Miggan thought about that for a minute, men began to laugh heartily. "I see thatRomirtar has been bested even more than he knows," he guffawed. "His rella wenda has teen outdone by a wenda who is intended to bear children! She shall give you daughters to steal your sleep, Tammad. I know whereof I speak.""Aye, sons are much Ihe easier to raise." Tammad laughed, eyeing me in a veryproprietary fashion, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I knew hecouldn't give me chil­dren, but he sounded so sure.... "Here is the drishnak," Miggan announced as Padir came back in with a skin. Hewas feeling very brotherly toward Tammad, and that's what we'd been trying for. 
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As soon as I confirmed that, I ignored the two drinkers for my own thoughts. Since there was a lot of territory to cover, we didn't spend 
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too much time with Miggan. I heard nothing of Tammad's excuse for leaving, butit must have been a good one; when he tugged gently on my hair to get myattention, Miggan was still feeling brotherly. Miggan grinned fondly at me, too,which annoyed me, but be never noticed the annoyance. He just walked us to thepavilion entrance and lifted a hand in farewell.The next denday we came to didnt have to be fought with or drunk with. I toldTarhmad to ask any question and thereafter just listen, and when we walked awaythe denday was feeling as brotherly as Miggan had felt. The man was bigger thanTammad and tended to speak' a good deal more slowly than he used a sword, and most l'lendaa had no pa­tience for listening to him. When Tammad listened, notonly with patience but with interest, the gigantic denday was pleased out of allproportion to the effort. He didn't fail to compliment me, but I was glad to beaway from him. He remembered me from the night before, and still felt what hehad felt then—which was definitely not brotherly.We went back to our own pavilion for the midday meal, and Tammad insisted thatwe eat inside. It was cooler and darker out of the bright sun, and once my eyeshad adjusted to the difference, I saw that the sleeping furs had been moved to theback of the pavilion, and pillows had been scattered near the front. The draperythat had bisected Miggan's pavil­ion was available in ours, too, but our draperywas drawn to one side, leaving the pavilion whole. Tammad sat himself on one ofthe pillows, then gestured me down near him."I do not understand the way of your power," he said when I was seated. "Youread those men easily and well, yet their thoughts should not have been open toyou. Are you able to explain this to me?""Maybe so, but I don't think you'll like the explanation," I answered, leaning backa little to study him. "The advice I gave you was pure guesswork—educatedguesswork, true, but still only guesswork. Do you still feel that sure about me?""I would be a fool to doubt you now." He grinned, taking a mouthful from hisbowl of stew. "In what manner do you 'guess'?" "When I read a man, I see only his emotions," I explained, after taking a deepbreath. "Then I have to interpret the emo­tions, and that's where the guessworkcomes in. Miggan's feeling of standoffish superiority might have stemmed from a 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 197 deeply buried inferiority complex just as easily as from never having been beaten, 
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I had no way of knowing which it was, and therefore had to guess. Just as Iguessed that that gona-dal gargantua was frustrated through lack of vocalex­pression. His frustration could have come from general disbelief on the part ofothers, too—or any one of another half dozen reasons. Do you understand what Imean?" "Perhaps in part," he answered slowly, chewing over what I'd said as carefully ashe chewed the stew. "Were you taught this—interpretation?""For many years," I nodded. '1 thought I was infallible until the first time I made amistake. Then I had to admit I was only human."He ate quietly for a while, then he looked at me as he never had before. "Thispower of Prime," he mused. "Is it something to be handed from father to son—andmother to daughter?""It—doesn't often happen," I said weakly, putting my bowl of stew aside untasted,I didn't want him to know that my gift was a dominant trait and showed up inevery generation after the first. He couldn't give me children! He couldn't! "Once would be enough," he commented, going back to his stew with a satisfiedfeeing. I sat and fretted until he noticed that I wasn't eating, then I stuffed downwhat I could. It was a relief to get back to visiting dendayy.The hours went by and we made conquest after conquest I'd been lucky enough toguess right in every case, and Tam-mad followed my directions without amurmur, although he always added a personal touch that never failed to make agood situation better. He and I made a very effective team, and each time we left apavilion his hug or caress was warm­er. The only thing that kept me going was thethought that he'd given his word to let me go back to the embassy.There's very little excuse I can make. That we'd walked all over the camp to thevery outskirts of the camtahh was true. That it was nearly sundown and I was tiredboth mentally and physically is also true. That still doesn't excuse the fact that Ialmost missed them. If I had, few of us might be alive today.We stood just within the last line of camtahh, talking to our latest convert. He wasa man who disliked everything, but who perversely felt guilt about his dislikes.Tammad had accussed nothing but the dislikes of the majority of the den­
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dayy, making the man feel less alone. The man still disliked him, but if he eversupported anyone, it would be Tammad.I let my mind and eyes wander over the remainder of field just past the camtahh. The sun was setting in that direction, which made one want to look away, but itwas so empty and peaceful that it drew me. I closed my eyes and let my mindwander alone—and then I felt it. I snapped back and double checked, but therewas no mistake. That empty, lifeless field held dozens of human mind patterns, 
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patiently waiting to be allowed to explode, which was going to happen soon.My eyes flew open, and I knew I had very little time. Des­perately I groaned anddoubled over, holding myself with one arm and clutching for Tammad with theother. He.broke off in the middle of a sentence and turned to me immediately, hisemotional control rippling."What ails you?" he asked, reaching for me with anxious hands. As he bent down,I put my arm around his neck, pull­ing his ear close to my lips."I'm all right, but there are men hidden in the field be­yond," I whisperedraggedly. "I think they're going to -at­tack."Only his eyes moved, and he looked at the field through at­tentive slits. With noperceptible hesitation he picked me up, then turned back to the denday."My wenda has taken ill," he announced in normal tones. "I must return her to mycamtah." Then his voice dropped and he whispered, "Savages hi the field beyond.Alert your flendaa." The other man barely blinked before answering, "I shall accompany you," thenadded low, "This is our attack signal."He pursed his lips and whistled a calm tune, and it was barely in tone. Just as theI'lendaa in the area started over at a run, the savages attacked. They-were on theirfeet and rac-ing in, screaming their challenge and swinging their swords, almostbefore it was possible to accept the fact of their presence. They went frominvisible to visible in the blink of an eye, and were very hard to see in any eventwith the set­ting sun at their backs. The flendaa shouted their defiance and ran to close with them. Tammad put me down fast near a camtah, growled, "Re­main here unless theyapproach," then turned away to joia the battle, drawing his sword as he ran. Istood near the side 
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of the camtah and watched what was going on, never having seen anything like itin my life.The savages crowed with delight as they fought, the delight unfading even whenthey fell with mortal wounds. They had their entire bodies and faces dyed a deeporange, thick white lines painted here and there over the orange. The I'lendaa within earshot had come, but the camp was spread out too far for others to noticethe battle. Swords rang and thudded, men cursed and laughed, sav­ages went down happily,l'lendaa died reluctantly. It was a bedlam beyond description, and I. found thesavages' emo­tions worse than any I'd yet come across, because they made nosense. Their reactions were almost insane, and I felt re­pelled by them as well asfascinated. The professional side of me probed deep for explanation, and found 
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the possibility of one: an odd numbness at the back of their minds suggesting thelikelihood of drugs.Many of the savages were down sooner than it takes to tell about it, as they madeno attempt to defend themselves, rely­ing only on all-out attack. The tactic wouldhave been a good one with anyone else, but Flendaa were too sure of them­selves in battle. They parried the attacks and followed with attacks of their own, and thesavages went happily to what they were looking forward to. Some few of theI'lendaa died also, but most were just wounded here or there, some worse thanothers. The battle was nearly done when I saw what Tammad had gotten himself into. Hehad been fighting two of the savages, and had been doing better than all rightwhen Faddan, who had been fighting near him, slipped in his own blood and wentdown. Before the savages could end Faddan, Tammad sprang to his defense,standing over him and fighting not two but four, while the other man tried to stopthe flow of blood from his thigh quickly enough to help. Another two of thesavages yipped their glee and joined the others, sure that six of them could downthe lone Flenda. Tammad's sword was metallic lightning, flickering here and there without stop,flashing at the savages and keeping them at a distance. There was grim battle joyin him all the while, a release from tensions and conventions that civilized men never experience. But it was a deadly purification, one that could end him asquickly as it could end his opponents.
When I saw the last two savages join the other four, my in­
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sides knotted. No matter how good Tammad was, the odds were against hissurvival. I couldn't just stand there and watch it happen, I had to do something, butI was too far away. I left the side of the camtah, trying not to be noticed by any of the combatants, and moved closer. By the time I was twenty feet away, I was nearly frantic. One of the savages wasdown with his head split open, but Tammad was bleeding from too many places,and Faddan was dizzy from loss of blood, unable to get to his feet again. Thesavages were going to launch themselves at Tammad, in­tending to sacrifice asmany as necessary so that one, at least, would reach the mighty I'lenda with a fatal thrust I crouched down where I was, forcing calm and gathering every, bit of strength Ihad. I closed my eyes for concentra­tion and dredged up the feelings I'dexperienced that day in the rain, of the man who had died with such a great fear ofdeath choking him. The experience was nauseating to feel again, but I ignored myown reactions, intensified the horror and fear, and then projected it at the five 
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savages. Dividing the projection was the hardest thing Fd ever done, but I had to do it. The savages felt the projection below whatever they'd used to numb themselves,and the impact on them was terrible. They wailed in the deepest despair, feelingthe horror of death as they'd never allowed themselves to feel it before. Through itall, I felt the presence of another savage not far from me, but there was nothing Icould do about it. My strength was draining fast, but I had to hold the projectionas long as possible.In no more than a matter of minutes, my strength was gone and I slumped to theground, completely played out. No one but a Prime would have been able to holda projection even that long, but the thought was hardly comforting. I didn't knowif I'd held it long enough, and I didn't know what had happened to the savage whohad been near me. I forced my eyes open to see Tammad still engaged with the last two savages, justas an arm circled my waist and pulled me from the, ground. The savage laughedinsanely as he began carrying me away, and I was even more helpless than ever.The savages were of a size with the I'lendaa, and I couldn't have managed anotherprojection literally to save my life. I was being carried toward the empty field, andonce we got past the last camtahh in line, there would be no one to stop us. 
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I was trying to find the strength to struggle even slightly when the savage stoppedsuddenly, laughed a maniacal laugh, then dropped me in a heap. I lifted my headto see that Tam-mad stood in our way, his eyes hard, his bloody sword raisedhigh. The savage yipped out a challenge and charged, con­cerned as usual withnothing but attack. Tammad took the smashing blade on his own broad weapon,then quickly swung his sword down. The savage's arm flew severed from hisshoulder, and a moment later, his head rolled after his arm. My own head was tooheavy to hold up any longer, so I let it fall until it reached my wrist."How are you hurt?" Tammad demanded, turning me quickly so that I restedagainst his arm. "What was done to you?""I'm not hurt, just tired," I answered weakly. "Projection is hard work.""So it was you who touched the savages," he said, staring down at me. "Fromtheir faces I do not wish to know what was done, but I will know why you cameout from safety.""I couldn't reach them from where I was," I explained rea­sonably. "I had to getcloser to be within range, so they would—" I broke off short, realizing what I'dsaid only from the look on his face. I was too tired to think clearly, and shouldhave kept my big mouth shut
"Within range," he repeated flatly, a sharper anger adding itself to the controlled 
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rage he already felt "So you lie as well as disobey. The life of a woman amongthe savages is not a pleasant one. You risked being cut down, and nearly foundyourself taken—all through lack of obedience to my word. It shall not gounnoticed." He stood then, looking around to see that the battle was over. Women appeared totend the wounded, and by really trying, I got to my knees. Tammad noticed mystruggle, bent, and lifted me in his arms."We return now to our camtah," he said, but his mind was not as calm as his tone. "You shall eat and rest and restore yourself. When you are as you were, yourdisobedience shall be punished.""You can't mean that!" I protested as he carried me along in the gloom. "I wasonly trying to keep you from getting killed! Would you have been happier gettingkilled?" 
"1 am l'lenda" he answered stiffly, "and have faced death 
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many times. It is fitting that I should do so." He paused, looked at me in an oddway, then added, "Sooner would I see this l'lenda dead than you.""But you can't beat me!" I wailed.Damned barbarian. He did. 
15 
I lay in my furs behind the closed drapery, bored and un­happy, but unable to doanything about it. I'd been ordered in no uncertain terms to stir not an inch, and Ihad no doubts about what would happen if I disobeyed again.When we'd gotten back to the pavilion the night before, I'd pulled myself togetherenough to get some water, clean rags, and salve for Tammad's souvenirs from thesavages. He hadn't been hurt badly, I was relieved to see, but there's no such thingas being hurt well, I got the wounds washed and medicated, then went aftersomething for us to eat. After the meal and a strong pull on a drishnak skin, Tammad went off to see how Faddan was doing, and I had time to rest and think.I had no trouble resting, but my thinking was anything but clear. I had riskedmyself, a Prime of the Centran Amalga­mation, for the sake of an essentiallyworthless man from backward Rimilia. Something like that would have beenlaughed at aad condemned by everyone I knew; it would have been consideredinsanity. Once, I would have considered it insanity too, but that wasn't possibleany longer. The man had risked himself more than once for me, and if the 
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situa­tion recurred, I would do the same again.
But was that the only reason? Was I just repaying a debt that I owed, cancelling an
obligation? I tried to tell myself that it was so, and failed miserably. I would not
have risked myself for just anyone no matter how many times they had saved me,
but I hadn't even thought about myself when I saw Tammad in danger of death.
He was more than a worthless 

203 
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man from a backward planet, but just how much more I was afraid to think about.He cared for me, and I cared for him, but how far did that care go?I brooded until he got back, then had no further oppor­tunity for brooding. Helectured me in a cold voice, telling me exactly how many ways I'd disobeyed him,and didn't al­low any interruptions. After the lecture came the switching, and aroyal switching it was. I felt the wrath he had once spoken of, and a good dealmore, and by the time he was through I heartily regretted everything I'd beenguilty of. I was sent to my furs to contemplate my sins, and Tammad went off tothe dendarsa camtah alone. Instead of contem­plating, I fell asleep.The next morning, right after eating, it was my turn to lec­ture. Tammad hadlimited his drishnak intake the night be­fore, and was eager to continue convertingdendayy, but I wouldn't be going along with him. He made me describe themannerisms of the men involved and add my guesswork, then gave me my ordersabout staying put. Considering how irri­tated he still was with me, I didn't even tryto argue, I stayed put, but I didn't particularly like itI heard him get back at midday, but he stayed in the front part of the pavilion andI could feel that he was deepjn thought I left the furs and went to the drapery,peering around the side of it to see him stretched out on the cushions."May I come out now?" I asked when I felt that he was aware of my presence.When be didn't answer I added a small, "Please?" "Have you thought upon the reasons for your punish­ment?" he asked, moving hiseyes to me. When I grimaced and nodded he smiled. "Dress yourself then and joinme. Our meal will soon be brought"I went back and dressed in record time, then came out from behind the draperyjust as one of the women brought in two bowls of stew. She hid her amusementwell enough, but I felt myself blushing anyway. The way I'd yelled the nightbe­fore, the entire camp must have known about my beating.When the woman was gone, Tammad gestured me over to him. "You have donevery well so far," he said with warmth as he handed me a bowl. "There was amistake hi your esti­mation of one man, yet was I able to turn it to my ad­vantage.When the discussions begin with the new sun, you must read the others again and 
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weigh the manner in which 
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they receive my words. I shall broach the most important subject last"I nodded again and sat carefully, then studied him. "What exactly is it that youwant tor your people?" I asked after a minute. "I know you have some specificpurpose in mind, and I'm curious about it""My purpose is clear." He shrugged, eating some of his stew. "I would have mypeople survive and prosper. Is this so different from the wants of others?""No," I answered, "but you yourself are different from oth­ers. I think you wantto be denday of dendayy.""How may a man hide from one who sees as deeply as you?" He laughed. "Suchis indeed my intent, yet the time is not right for the thing. All things come in theirproper time.""So I've heard," I murmured. "At least no one can say yon have no ambition.What would you do as denday of den-dayy?""I would see that my people survived and prospered," he answered neutrally. "Doyou now eat quickly so that you may see the competitions between cities. Theybegan earlier, and much honor shall be won by the city which triumphs most Ishall have no need of you here.""Then you're not going," I said, knowing it as a fact. "You nave something moreimportant to do, and it doesn't concern me." I looked down at my bowl thenadded, 'Til leave as soon as I'm through.""Do not feel ahrestal" he said sharply, reaching over to take my face in his hand."I would have you beside me al­ways, yet there are matters I must see to alone. Itwould not be fitting to have wendaa present.""Wenda!" I snapped, pulling back away from his hand. "When you come rightdown to it, I'm still nothing but wenda! Handle your matters alone and bedamned!" I got to my feet and stalked out, trying to bury my hurt beneath layers of fury. Thequestion of wenda had nothing to do with why he wanted me out of the way and Iknew it He was going to discuss things he didn't want me knowing about, that'swhy I'd been offered time off to see the fair. He didnt trust me enough to let me inon his secrets, and that really hurt.Fd left my bowl of stew almost uneaten, but I wasn't hun­gry at all. I wanderedaround from camp area to camp area, stopping occasionally to watch the goings-on. There were 
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wrestling matches, knife throwing matches, swordfights, riding contests, andarchery contests. The l'lendaa enjoyed them all, either participating or watching,their women in the crowds along with them.I saw one pavilion that had been opened completely, and every man in it had awoman in tow. Other, unaccompanied men ringed the pavilion and examined thewomen with inter­est As I watched, one man entered the pavilion andap­proached another who was holding a woman's arm. They Spoke briefly, dingawas exchanged, and the man who had been alone left with the woman. I noticedthat she was one-banded, and realized that she had just become the belonging ofthe man who had paid for her. She hadn't felt terribly up­set by the exchange, infact she was rather excited, and I couldn't help shaking my head. Was I the onlyone who was disturbed by such things? Did the women really prefer such a life, orwere they just used to it? I didn't know, and probably never would.The contests went on for the rest of the afternoon, but at sundown the crowds began breaking up. I continued to wan­der, reluctant to go back to the pavilion. Ihadn't paid atten­tion to where I was going, but paying attention wasnt necessary.I could find my way back by following the pat­terns of our people, so I justwandered wherever the whim took me. The campfires were beginning to show more sharply against the darkening sky. Imoved behind a line of camtahh, still full of my own thoughts, and a group offigures moved out of the shadows to surround me. I looked up in surprise to seeRommar directly in my path, six other I'lendaa complet­ing the circle around me."Aldana, wenda," Rommar said with an expressionless face, staring down at me."You wander far from the camtah of Tammad." "I mistook my direction," I answered, matching his even-Bess of tone. "I shouldreturn at once, for the hour is late." I tried to step around him, but he moved just enough to block me again. Hisemotions were calm, but I could feel a sort of excitement in the minds of the others. It didn't take much ability to suspect that I had trouble.Tammad shall not seek for you as yet," Rommar in­formed me. "He speaks withhis followers of matters of great import. The number of his followers hasincreased beyond 
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my expectations, and this disturbs me. There is little I may do to alter thesituation, yet must it be altered. Perhaps Tam-mad will be good enough to act forme." I didn't even see the slap coming, but my head rang with it, my cheek turning toburning needles. I cried out at the pain, trying to protect myself, but the secondslap touched my other cheek with fire, and he wasn't even exerting him­self. The 
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circle closed in tight, someone stuffed a cloth in my mouth, and it didn't take verylong, but I had to use pain control even before Rommar's fist reached mystomach. I lay curled up on the ground, nauseously dizzy and bleeding from onecorner of my mouth, and there was still no anger in him. He had hurt meunemotionally and for a purpose, but I had nothing to do with that purpose.The men were satisfied with what had been done, and I lay still for a few minutesafter they were gone, then got rid of the gag and got painfully to my feet. Myimad was ripped, my caldin was duty, and I was expected to do something. I hada fairly good idea about what that something was, but I had no intentions of doingjt. I got my bearings with a bit of difficulty, then started back to my own area.Even with pain control, it was harder going than I'd ex­pected it to be. Mystomach kept wanting to cramp up, and that made walking difficult. I kept to theshadows as much as possible, breathing heavily from the exertion, but abouthalf­way there Loddar found me. He saw me before I was aware of him, and hehurried over. "Terril, what has happened?" he demanded, lifting my face gently to see thebruises more clearly. A screaming anger filled him, and he lifted me from theground. 'Tammad was wise to feel concern over your absence," he growled."There will be blood spilled over this!"He hurried back to the pavilion, moving carefully so as not to hurt me further.There weren't many people about, for which I was grateful, and not having towalk let me work at restoring myself a little. By the time we got there, I wasprepared to do what had to be done.Tammad looked up as we entered, his annoyance disap­pearing immediately as hejumped to his feet. A deep ache filled him as he took me from Loddar, and hebriefly and gently held me to him before setting me down on the cush­ions. 
"How badly are you hurt?" he asked in a choked voice, Ms 
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finger carefully daubing at the blood on my mouth. "I shall have his life for this, Iswear it!" "He wishes you to make the attempt," I got out, not able to soothe his ache. Ineeded everything I had to keep from groaning and showing what a really goodjob Rommar had done."His wish shall be answered," he said grimly, rising to his feet again. His ragewas a monumental thing, harsher than anything Fd care to face. "Loddar, stayyou with Terril and see to her. I shall return shortly.""Aye, you shall indeed return shortly," I said in disgust to Bis broad back. "Bereftof all you have worked for, but filled with a boy's satisfaction. Your honor shallbe intact" 
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He whirled back to me, his face twisted with anger. "Am I to congratulate him onhis treatment of my wendefl" he de­manded in a roar. "Am I to become darayseand overlook his crime?" "Are you to hop to his bidding as a child obeys its father?" I countered "This wasdone for no purpose other than to force you to break the laws of the Ratananl Your voice can­not be heard by the others from the distance of your own city, andI would wager a goodly amount that he now sits surrounded by innocents whowould condemn only you for baring a blade. He would be left here, and youwould be gone! Is this what you wish?"He stared at me, his mind in turmoil, and Loddar stepped closer. "Denday, she has the right of it," he said slowly. "I, too, would have faced the man with thirstyblade, yet she sees more clearly in spite of her pain. Sadayin wenda, as well as sarella. Her thoughts and actions do credit to her name, and I salute her courage.""My small warrior," Tammad said, smiling slightly in spite of the ache that hadreclaimed him, "is he to give you pain and suffer nothing himself in return,l'lenda wenda? I would indeed be darayse were I to allow such to happen.""His pain shall come at the defeat of his schemes," I said, starting to feel dizzyagain. "Should you bitterly discuss the happening with others, burning to knowthe identity of one who would do such a thing, no thoughts of darayse would arise. Also, should he admit the deed out of desperation, there would be few tostand with him. He may yet give you the opportunity you seek." 
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"I am not to know who did this?" he asked in surprise. "How may I not know?""Through great fear of Flendaa, I shall speak no name," I answered weakly. "Youmay then suspect, but you may not know.""Fear of Fkndaal" Loddar guffawed, sticking his thumbs in his swordbelt. "Neverhave I seen wenda with so little fear of Flendaa. Rommar shall indeed regret hisactions." "I will not be satisfied until he is beyond regret," Tammad said softly, sittingdown nest to me to stroke my hair. "Loddar, do you bring water, and have a brothprepared for my small warrior. I feel her pain is deeper than she would have usknow." Loddar nodded and left, and I closed my eyes, drawing strength from the handthat touched my hair. In a short while my face was washed carefully, and a shortwhile after that the broth was brought. Again it had the strange but pleasing tasteto it, and it went down easily into the void in me. I was then carried to my furs,undressed, and allowed to sleep.It was still very dark when I awoke, and I moved carefully, testing for pain.Between my own efforts and the medicated broth there was none, but Tammad's 
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mind was instantly alert, centered on me with worry and fear. It was almost ashock to realize that he did feel fear, but the fear wasn't per­sonal, it was for me.His Prime's work was nearly done, but he wasn't afraid for his Prime. He wasafraid for me, "Are you in difficulty?" he asked softly, moving closer on his furs. His hand tookmine and held it, swallowing it almost completely."The pain is gone," I answered, glad that he couldn't see the bruises on my face.The dark gave me a courage I never thought I'd need, and I added hi a smallvoice, "Tammad, may I share your furs?""Terrillian hama," he breathed, drawing me to him as a great joy filled him."Never before have you spoken my name, nor asked to come to me. I had almostgiven up hope."'Tammad hamak," I murmured, thrilled with calling and being called beloved. "Ihad not had the courage nor sense to speak before this. More fool I.""Foolish perhaps, but never a fool." He chuckled, holding me tight. "All will bewell now." 
It wasn't well, it was indescribably wonderful I gave my­
210 sharon green 
self happily, and he accepted my gift gently, tenderly, yet still with passion. Hisdesire was great, but he satisfied it with du­ration rather than intensity, allowingme to share my stron­gest feelings in order to increase his satisfaction. The nightsurrounded wishes fulfilled, and never had life meant more to me. 
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The morning was beautiful, and even my almost constant yawning didn't spoil it.Tammad laughed at the yawns, and I grinned along with him even as I blushed.The night had been too good to regret the loss of sleep.I followed Tammad to the dendarsa camtah, which had been opened all around sothat the gathered I'lendaa could hear the discussions within, and I was very gladthere was no mirror available. I was dressed in a fresh imad and caldin, but I could gauge the bruises on my face by the fury and pain Tammad felt every timehe looked at me. I had the company of a full dozen I'lendaa, and they would staywith me until Tammad was free again.The morning was spent discussing the problem of the sav­ages, and victory wasvery sweet. Rommar was unalterably opposed to a united effort against them andspoke convinc­ingly for his position, but Tammad's arguments were even moreconvincing. The dendayy supported Tammad, and I was glad I hadn't scratched 
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the itch to project a bit of general agreement and belief. Tammad's victory wascompletely his own, and Rommar soured further with defeat.The dendayy took the midday meal together, so I took the opportunity to go for abath. Tammad gave reluctant permis­sion for me to visit the stream on the far sideof the camp, and his l'lendaa were just as jumpy as he was. They didn't know whbhad attacked me the night before, but they hadnt needed Tammad's orders to keepa close eye on me. Every time they looked my way, then- lips tightened and theirminds seethed. 
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The stream was a very welcome sight, and I stripped quickly and stepped into thewater. It was cool and refresh­ing, doing a lot to ease my tiredness. I washedquickly, then stood up to my shoulders soaking, a small smile of memory on mylips due to the night before.I was brought back to reality by a brief cramp, then was shocked to see dark redswirling hi the clear water below me. It was obvious that I was bleeding, and myfirst thought was that I'd been injured by Rommar's attack on my stomach. Ifretted over the idea for a minute or two, and then another possibility presenteditself. It was nonsensical and impossible, but my body might have been telling methat I was pregnant!Shakily, I told myself that that was ridiculous. I'd had my six month anti-pregnancy treatment, and it had never been known to fail. I bad lots of time untilthe next treatment was due, as the last treatment had been taken care of just beforeI'd left for Dremmler's sector. I cast my mind back, trying to pinpoint the exactdate of treatment, then closed my eyes. I'd been treated almost two months beforeI'd left on my last as­signment.But it still couldn't be! I was supposed to have warning when my protection woreoff. Strong cramps that couldn't be missed were the warning, and I hadn't hadthose. I hadn't felt anything like—my argument stopped and another part of melaughed at my blindness. I'd had the cramps, all right, but I'd thought it wasRommar's doing. My body bad warned me, but I'd missed the warning. Now itwas taking great pleasure in telling me that it was pregnant, that it had finallygotten around the restrictions I'd imposed on it Abrupt lack of pro­tection like thatmade a woman immediately vulnerable, and the bleeding was a confirmation ofimpregnation that also couldn't be missed.I stayed where I was for the ten or fifteen minutes it took for the bleeding to stop,and happily the l'lendaa saw nothing of it. I was numb for a while, but then Iexamined my emo­tions and found only part of the shock I'd expected. I didn'twant to be pregnant, but it wasn't the terrible thing I'd pic­tured, and I felt no 
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different. Then I asked myself honestly if I could have gone home even if I hadn'tbeen pregnant, and I honestly had to answer no. Tammad was the man I wanted,but he was an earthbound deep-spacer on Central. He be­longed with his ownpeople, and I would have to stay wher­ever he was. 
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I climbed out of the water and dressed, wrapped in a calm that didn't have to beforced. I hadn't thought about what would happen after the Ratanan, but now I had to think about it. My hamak would take me back to his city, and then I wouldtell him my news. He had enough on his mind at present, and didn't need to bedistracted. I got back to the dendarsa camtah shortly after the discus­sions had begun again,and I could feel Tammad's relief all the way from the back of the crowd. I lookedthrough a gap in the bodies and smiled at him, and his answering grin warmedevery part of me. Various unimportant city matters were discussed through theafternoon, but I paid close atten­tion so that my report on the dendayy would be as complete as possible.That night after the evening meal, I gave Tammad my re­port. We discussedpossible reactions to various arguments for the establishment of the Centrancomplex, and I was told which of the dendayy should be read again and morecom­pletely. I filed the instructions away for the next day, then joyed in the touchof my hamak. He was fiercely pleased with me, and my admiration for hisabilities couldn't have been greater. He was a denday without equal, a I'lenda without fear, a man without doubt. I loved him. The next two days were unremarkable. I listened to the discussions, read the men,made countless suggestions, and discovered more about Rommar. He, too, was aman with a purpose, but his purpose was to keep Rimilia isolated, and separatedwithin her isolation. He feared and hated the idea of unity, but I couldn't discoverwhy. I tried hard enough, ia order to counter the man better, but I had no luck.The night of the fourth day, Tammad came back to our pavilion in high spirits. Ilooked at him questioningly, and he grinned. "I have just outlined the arguments I plan to use in the next discussions," he saidlightly. "As the subject to be dis­cussed is the Centran Complex, Caffar was mostinterested." 
"Caffar?" I blurted. "But isn't he the one who—" "Who is in the employ of Rommar?" He chuckled. "Indeed he is. Soon Romrnartoo shall hear of my plans.""You gave him counterfeit arguments!" I pounced, finally seeing the point "Whentomorrow comes, hell be totafly un­prepared!" 
"Such is to be hoped." He nodded, pulling me to him so he 
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could run his hands over me. "Upon sword or dagger, it shall soon be decided.No other could have given me the aid you have supplied. You are truly Vlenda wenda, my Terrillian hama. Should victory come, it shall be yours as well.""I could ask for no more than to share it with you," I said, meaning every word ofit. We had worked together, and no matter what happened, we'd both know we'ddone our best. The next day was bright and sunny, but it felt as if there should be lightningflashes. The tension was high among the spectators of the talks, and even thedendayy were showing signs of unrest. Everyone knew what was next on theagenda, and they knew, too, that any decision made could change their livesforever. Excitement flickered all around, but abso­lute silence descended once the dendayy were in their places. Tammad didn't move from his cushion, but hisvoice rang out clearly."It is time that we speak of a matter of import," he said to the others. "The lastRatanan saw a decision that must now be changed, else our world may be lost tous. I would speak in favor of what is called the Centran complex.""And I would speak against it!" Rommar put in loudly. "The denday Tammad would have us believe that the offworlders mean us no harm, that our lands shall not be taken from us, that our ways shall not be interfered with. This is but thedream of an aged wenda, who fears the night and so reassures herself withfantasy. These offworlders, these mondarayse, seek to take what is ours with words. I, for one, mean to greet them with sword in hand, and thereafter watchthem scurry back to their flying houses, never to return again!"Ragged yells of agreement broke out here and there among the spectators, but therest kept silent. Once the noise had died down, Tammad leaned back andinspected Rommar."The denday Rommar is fearless indeed," he drawled. "To face the weapons ofthe offworlders, which may destroy a man completely from as far away as thosefarther trees, with naught save sword in hand, is something I, myself, would not care to do. The offworlders may scurry indeed—directly to their weapons."
Rommar was slightly off-balance, but he didn't let it show. Instead, he sneered atTammad. "And if these weapons should be used? I am Vlenda, and unafraid to die! Not all here be darayse!" 
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"True," Tammad agreed quickly before anyone else could react to the words. "Yetnot all here be I'lenda either. What is to happen to our lands, and children, and 
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wendaa once we have died uselessly? Dying is effortless, and may be achieved bythe lowest of creatures. To live, to survive and prosper, re­quires l'lendaa!" This time the cheers were for Tammad, and that infuriated Rommar. "And how are we to live?" he demanded. "As scraping servants to the mondaraysel Theyshall steal our manhood from us as they try to steal our land! We must not allowthem to set foot on our world!" "The tune for such foolishness is long past," Tammad an­swered coldly. 'Theywish to have the use of our world, and shall have that use whether we wish it or no. They have greater numbers than we, greater weapons, and greater knowledge.We may refuse to allow them entry this Ratanan; by the next, those of us whohave not died shall see the, deed done!" "I had thought you spoke for the offworlders," Miggan put in from his spot. "Yourwords do not seem to agree with this.""I speak only for our people!" Tammad said forcefully, ris­ing to his feet. "Theoffworlders shall have what they covet, yet our people may still survive andprosper should this thing be done properly. Allow them their complex, yes, butwith many sides to the agreement. The complex must be built in an area of ourchoosing; the laws of our people must be obeyed by all who walk among us;schooling in their knowledge must be made available to our young; much dingamust be available for our use. All these things and more they may be made toagree to wow! Should they come in force for their complex, we shall be allowedonly the right to die!""What of the life we have known!" Rommar shouted, also getting to his feet"Think you our lives shall remain un­changed? That which we have alwaysknown shall be no more! Far better that we die than see the ways of our fathersfall to ashes before us!" "Should we die, the ways of our fathers shall truly fall to ashes!" Tammad shoutedback. "Only by living and growing with whatever comes may we preserve whatthere is to preserve. Our sons shall respect the words of living fathers; they mayonly mourn and forget the dead. We may die easily 
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in righteousness, or we may live to struggle for our way of life. I am l'lenda! I 
cannot choose death over struggle!"
The roar of acclaim was deafening, and the other dendayy were also on their feet, 
shouting with the crowd. The agree­ment was there, so strong that nothing else
came through. If the mood could be preserved, victory was inevitable.
"You do not hear my words!" Rommar screamed, his mind frothing with madness.
"This man shall lead you all to destruction, yet I have never been one to follow
blindly. I call this Tammad darayse, and spit on him! He does not dare to face me 

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with sword in hand!" The crowd quieted immediately, and Miggan stepped to Tammad. "It is notnecessary to take notice of that one," he said quietly. "He speaks of the ways ofour fathers, yet spurns the laws of the Ratanan. He may be sent from here indisgrace should that be your wish.""The laws of the Ratanan are to be obeyed," Tammad said, his eyes on Rommar."Yet, I, too, must spurn them for a greater purpose. I accept his challenge."The crowd moved aside to let the dendayy off the pavilion platform, then formeda large ring. Tammad and Rommar stepped into the center of the ring and facedeach other with drawn swords, fury filling Rommar, satisfaction in Tammad.Rommar moved first, swinging his sword back, then bring­ing it forward two-handed. Tammad brought his own sword up and caught the blow, then swung inattack at Rommar. Metal clashed and rang, and it was obvious that Tammad faceda man who was his equal. The two giants swung at each other, but not blindly.Each handled his blade with skill and control, Rommar using his rage to add to hisstrength. He whipped his sword at Tammad, trying to open him wide, andTammad jumped back out of the way just in time. Tam­mad avoided the back-swing as well, then chopped hard at Rommar, making him duck away from thevengeful edge that would have cut him hi two.Then, without any warning, the end came. Rommar swung his sword back foranother furious assault, and Tammad's blade arched down, splitting Rommar'shead. Rommar's mind was then beyond pain, and his body fell to the dust ofRimilia, having finally achieved the ultimate isolation.The l'lendaa moved forward to voice their approval, and I turned silently andwent back to our pavilion to sit myself 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 2Jf 
among the cushions. I needed some time to f to straighten out in my own mindwhat had happened.Tammad had won his victory, but not along the lines wehad discussed. He was supposed to have stressed the benefitsof membership in the Amalgamation, instead he had used dis­trust and urgency to make his points. He intended to use theAmalgamation to get what he wanted for his people,he had used the information I had provided to swaydayy. His game was deep, and I finally understood Ihadn't been included in the talks with his allies. There pre­sumably, had been told his true plans. In spite of all of myprevious decisions, I didn't know whether or not I completelyapproved of his intention to use the Amalgamation to achieve 
* 1 
his ends. It didn't seem quite fair.When Tammad finally got back to the pavilion, he was calmly pleased. He threwhimself down on the pillows near me and grinned happily."The thing is done," he said, pulling me to him. "The den-dayy support mysuggestions, and shortly the offworlders shall be allowed their complex. Mypeople have much to look for­ward to, but great care must be taken lest they loseall through innocence. I shall do all I may to see that such does not occur.""Do you really think the Amalgamation will deliberately destroy your people?" Iasked quietly. "Can you believe them such heartless monsters?"He sighed and smoothed my hair. "It shall not be from conscienceless doing thatsuch will occur, Terril mine. In the presence of new ways, the old must change ordie completely. Many years ago, I traveled to the lands that lie far to the south.Two separate peoples dwell in that land, one with greater ability than the other.The two peoples had never fought, yet the people with lesser ability were nearlygone. They had clung to their old ways and attempted to make no changes, as theywished to preserve what their fathers had built Their children looked about them,yearned for the greater knowledge to be had with the abler people, and left theirhomes never to return. These children took the ways of the abler people as well astheir knowledge, and their fathers died alone, bitter and deserted. It was not thefault of tike abler people, not that of the children. Should greater knowledge beavailable, it is part of a man to wish to possess it" 
218 sharon green 
"And you don't want your people to die bitter and alone," I summed up, strokinghis face. The courage it takes to force people to survive! "You'll see that theychange their ways so that those ways may be preserved. Rapan was right when shespoke of your wisdom. You will be denday of dendayy and your people willflourish." "I have little wisdom." He grinned. "Else I would not have faced Rommar. Shouldhe have bested me, my people would soon have followed in my path. I took aboy's satisfaction, and shall not do so again until my successor is chosen. Then mydeath will be meaningless.""Never will it be meaningless!" I gasped, holding him tight "You are foolishindeed to speak so!""Forgive me, l'lenda wenda," he laughed softly. "I shall Dot speak so again. Withone such as you, there is little need to speak at all."He spoke to me then without words, and I sang hi re­sponse. Never before had Iknown such a man, never again will there be another.After we had eaten together, he left to see to his business and I stayed in thepavilion and dreamed. I was eager to get back to our city so I could learn what 
* 1 
Gilor had to teach me. I wanted to do everything for Tammad and be everythingto him, and proudly bear his children. My gift would be a part of every child Igave him, and I would give him as many as he wished. I would be his to the endof my days.There were still at least three hours to sundown when he returned. I ran to greethim, but he drew me outside where Loddar, Kennan, and a dozen other l'lendaa were waiting, mounted on seetarr with pack seetarr as well. I stared at them, not understanding, and Tammad put his arm around my shoulders."You shall go with Loddar and Kennan," he said quietly. "They are charged withyour safety, and shall care for you.""Go?" I echoed in confusion. "Go where? Where am I being sent?""You go to the house of the offworlders," he answered. "As it is a long journey, itis best you begin now. Fare you well, Terril mine, and see that you mind Loddar.He shall look upon you as one of his daughters."He squeezed me briefly, then turned away and headed back toward the dendarsa camtah. In deep shock I put my hand out after him, wanting to call him back,wanting to beg 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 
him to keep me. My mind went to his and my soul screamed in agony—becausethere was no sadness or regret in him, no sense of loss of any sort He was sendingme back because my job was done, and he would not miss the Prime he had used.My hand fell again to my side, the words unspoken, and my world was dead and gone."Come, Terrill," Loddar said gently. "You shall ride with me."I walked woodenly to Loddar and let him lift me to the saddle fur behind him. Iput my arms around his waist, feeling nothing, and we started for the road. Notonce did I try to look back. 
* 17 * 
The trip was the dream of a nightmare. When we camped, I didn't care where wewere and I spoke to no one. I ate what was given me, and if nothing was given Ididn't miss it In the beginning, Loddar tried to get me to cook the game that theycaught, then he gave up. Kennan would stare at me worriedly and draw Loddaraside to speak to him, then they would both stare at me, shake their heads, and goaway. It made no difference at all to the way I feltI kept asking myself how I could have been so wrong, how I could have made 
* 1 
such an enormous mistake. He cared for me and he'd said so—but he'd also sent me away. He had called me hama—but hama translated as "sweetheart" as well as "beloved." It had been no more than wishful thinking on my part that I was hisbeloved, no more than my own blind­ing need for him that had convinced me thathe wanted me, too. He cared for me, yes—but he didn't love me.I sat on the bare ground outside the camtah that was mine, seeing nothing but mylap and the motionless hands that lay in it He'd had so many women in hisbands—everyone said so—but he'd tired'of all of them, and had given them away.In all honesty it was hard understanding how he wouldn't tire of any singlewoman. With the variety he was constantly of­fered as denday, there was no need for him to look for one woman of his own. What in the world had made me think that / could do any more for him than the others had?He had been attracted to me, he had cared for me, he had enjoyed having a Primein his furs—but now it was over. He had other things to concern himself with,things of greater 
220 
THE WARRIOR WITHIN 
importance than an offworlder wenda. I didn't the de­tails of his plans, but I had no doubt that he was planaingsomething he'd discussed with no one, something that neitherthe Amalgamation nor his own people had a hint about, Hewould unveil it at just the right moment, and it would be assuccessful as everything else he did. Everything else.I lay alone in my furs, night after night, sty hand on the only place any part of himremained with me. I had been honored with the child of a deaday, when what I'd wanted was the denday himself. But he was I'lenda, and he'd made his choice, and I was too proud to crawl back on my knees to argue his choice. Not that itwould have done any good—ar­guing with him had never done any good. Hischoice was made, and it was final. Eventually the road went around the small village I remembered, and I knew wewere, almost to the embassy. I thought about how much I'd wanted to get back tothe em­bassy, and I could have laughed. I was finally getting my wish.We pulled up at the small back door of the embassy, and Loddar and Kennandismounted, taking me with them. Led* dar pounded on the door until it opened,then stepped aside. Denny stood there and gaped at me, then looked question­ingly at Loddar."The denday Tammad sends his greetings and his wenda," Loddar said to him. "May your road be an easy one."He and Kennan turned and left then, riding away with the other I'lendaa. Denny 
* 1 
put his arm around me, drew me in­side, and closed the door.
'Terry, what's happened?" he demanded. "Where's Tam­mad?"
"He's with his people," I answered tonelessly. "Making fi­nal arrangements for
the complex."
"Then you did it!" He grinned, hugging me. "Come oa, let's pass on the good
word." 
He took my hand and drew me after him, but not upramp. We Went to the
embassy's spacious visitors' room instead, which held five men. The men turned
to us as we entered, and Denny laughed.
"Gentlemen, it was a success," he announced. "The com­plex will be allowed, and
I think we owe a toast to our Prime for another excellent job."

The men murmured happy agreement, and Denny moved 
222 sharon green 
toward the autobar that the room held, but my attention was caught by amotionless figure, my eyes meeting those of Mur-dock McKenzie. He was reallythere, right hi the room, and he was staring at me."And what of Tammad, Terrillian?" be asked quietly. "Hasn't he come back withyou?"I shook my head from side to side, seeing Murdock Mc­Kenzie for the first timewhen I was awakened. His face was sourly emotionless and professionally calm,but his mind cared for me, worried about me, ached for me. He saw my pain asDenny hadn't, and he cried for my hurt."He doesn't want me, Father," I choked out "I love him so, but he doesn't want me." Murdock McKenzie's arm lifted and I ran to him, hud­dling against his twistedbody, sobbing out the unbearable ag­ony I was filled with. He didn't want me, andmy life would be forever grey.When I had no strength left to cry with, Denny helped me upramp to a room. Hewas silent as we walked, but his mind was grim with the hurt of disappointment.He put warm water in the bathroom's tub, then stopped short on his way to thedoor. He came back to stare at the bands I still wore, and I realized I'd forgottenall about them. "Well, that's one thing you won't need anymore," he growled, reaching out to mywrist. His muscles bunched, and he had to strain, but the bands opened one afterthe other. When all five of them lay on the floor he left, but I stared at the heap ofchain with the most desperate longing imagin­able. By the time I got to the bath,the water was cold. I slept for a long time, and when I woke I dressed in my own clothes and wentdownramp. Denny and Murdock and the others were hi the embassy dining room, 
* 1 
occupying only a small section' of the formal dining table. I'd always had
dif­ficulty accepting the fact that diplomats were used to feeding their temporary
guests and visitors, but right then it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
Everyone's head turned toward me as I entered, and Denny rose quickly to come 
to me. 
"Terry, how are you feeling?" he asked gentry, his face and thoughts concerned.
"Come and have something to eat."
"I'm all right, Denny," I answered, patting his arm. "The world hasn't really come
to an end, and it's about time I got used to the idea." 

THE WARRIOR WITHIN 
"Terrillian, come sit with me," Murdock called, and I could feel his tender concern. I went to the table and tool the chair next to his, and he stared into myeyes. "Terrillian, tell me about what went on between you and Tammad. I'd liketo have the complete story."I shrugged a little and told him everything, every stupid, foolish thing I had donesince I reached Rimilia. I didn't tell him about being pregnant, as that wassomething I had to reassess myself before I would discuss it with anyone else.When he had it all, I finished up with, "I suppose I have no one but myself toblame. I am useless in his world, and I mis­took gratitude and respect for myprofessional ability, for love and desire for me personally. He's a very specialman, Murdock, and he deserves the best." "As do you, my dear Terrinian," he answered in his stiff, sharp way. "You don'tseem the same as you were, and the change enhances you. There is quite a lot Ican do for you on Central now, and I will be pleased to see to ft. Rathmore will bevery grateful.'""There's no need for that," I said, feeling his desire to pro­tect me. "It was justanother job, and I did it My hazard in­surance will cover everything else.""Hazards of that sort are never covered by insurance," he came back dryly."Allow me to see to the matter." He went back to eating and I turned to my own food, glad feat Murdock wasthere. I rarely feel the need to be protect­ed, but there are times when strongprotection is the only thing that will let you rest I was very tired, and I needed restbadly.After the meal was over, we returned to the visitor's room. I hadn't enjoyed the food, and I was still trying to understand why. Stasis will keep food fresh forever,but every dish had somehow tasted flat and stale, as if it had been in stasis for­ever. I accepted the glass of wine Denny poured for me, and sat down to listento the conversation of one of the Diplo­macy Bureau people Murdock had broughtwith him. The man found me attractive, but he'd said nothing about it yet Since 
* 1 
the bruises were completely gone from my face, I won­dered why he didn't saysomething, then briefly closed my eyes. It would be a long trip crossing back tomy own world.It didn't take long before I was ready to return to my room. I wasn't sleepy, butthe.diplomat had finally gotten around to discussing—not verydiplomatically—the sex prac­
224 sharon green 
tices of the Ramilian people. He had asked with a snicker if it was true that theyexchanged women all the tune. When I told him that women were exchanged onlyunder special cir­cumstances, he laughed aloud and commented that that was asgood an excuse as any other, then asked me if I was in the mood to be exchanged.I stood up without saying anything, and went to pour myself another glass ofwine. As soon as transportation was available, I would be on my way back to Central,back to a life I wasn't sure I could live day longer. I saw everyone differently now,and it would be no surprise to find that I no longer fit in. If that turned out to bethe case, I would leave Central again, to find somewhere else to live. I had no ideawhere, but decided that it didn't really matter. I'd make a new beginning on a newplanet, and try to forget something that would never let itself be forgot­ten. Oneday I might find myself able to accept it instead, and then I'd know that I washome.